Sooo, as it turns out, the arrangement of blogs on Destructoid is a lot more like a message board than a Wordpress. Suffice it to say, I'm wearing my ass on my head right now for not taking the time to get acquainted with a community system before posting on it. I kindly accept death threats in every color except red.

In the meantime, I hope that the posts I marked as hidden are no longer on the reel of new posts in the C-blog main page. I think I oughta give myself a look at that page to make sure they're gone before going any further.

*steps away*
Indeed they are. Marvelous.
*steps back*

Okay then, this is a video blog I've been thinking about doing for a while now. It's a rapid-fire segment where I summarize a video game, technology development, or brand of cheese in ten seconds or less. The cheese might not get that much love, though, because I'm lactose intolerant. Here's the first bunch of them I've made.


A far as I can tell, the conflict is entirely about the orcs, I mean, darkspawn, trying to do what every species before them has done. That is, propagate and dominate.


To be fair, I also saw a review once where the guy complained about how the game asked you to sidetrack so often throughout the course of getting to Andrew Ryan. I wonder if he's played any video game before ever.


Let's recap, we have a kid turned into a space commando – who never gets out of his/her suit – by a now extinct (dead) race of aliens (NASA program) who is charged with the task of fighting self-serving aliens who really hate humanity before they harness metroids (Halo) to destroy mankind, and sometimes you have to get around via morphball (Warthog). Did I miss anything?


I actually made this one before I got Mass Effect 2, in which there's a dirty magazine called Fornax with a hanar on the cover.


I honestly can't think of a single blonde-haired hero in a game of Western origin, and very few in games of Japanese origin.


I have a whole list of problems with this thing, most of which have been covered by other outlets, but the most bothersome fact of it is it's still going to sell like a cure for fat and impotent.


I honestly never thought I'd miss stat management as much as I do.


I met a few guys on campus who swear by the platinum Gamecube controllers for Super Smash Bros. Melee because the buttons feel more responsive than the indigo controllers. Okay, I made that bit up, but they were still incredibly twitchy and managed to take themselves seriously.


The irony is I spend most of my computer gaming time having my sims play their own video games, which I could easily pretend are MMORPGs. Of course, I only paid for the Sims once.