Jordan is a founding member of Destructoid, poster of seemingly random cute animal pictures, and tends to be shockingly inoffensive.
Drop him a line if you have a pitch, questions related to anything Dtoid, or just want to chat. For best results, send messages to either jordan [at] destructoid [dot] com or @DtoidJordan
Jordan does a live streaming show based out of Portland, OR with Dtoid's Conrad Zimmerman and his wife Katrina nearly every Saturday at 10:00am Pacific on Twitch.tv/Destructoid called Saturday Morning Hangover. No, they aren't actually hungover ... usually, but might as well be as they play through independent games of dubious quality for your viewing pleasure. Jordan occasionally does a podcast with a few other current and ex-Dtoid contributors, Zero Cool, as well. Hack the planet!
No one has called me out on it yet, so I'll call myself out: I somehow fell asleep for 13 hours and didn't post about FNF. I was pretty tired from a week of not-sleep, so yesterday I thought I'd go lay down for about an hour. That way I would have enough energy to stay up for FNF -- what a shit decision that turned out to be.
I wake up and it's fuckin' 7:30 a.m. I've got no idea what's going on and only a vague memory of what happened on Friday. Literally the first thing that came to my mind was how I had missed posting about FNF.
A big apology goes out to those of you who post about and/or participate in Friday Night Fights. Cereal. That said, how did things go over last night? The regulars still showed up, right?
This shirt has been in the making for a long time, as most of you older Dtoid members already know. I'm pretty sure that I was one of the first people to order it too, since I randomly stumbled upon the shirt when browsing SplitReason. Then I told Lemon about it, he did a cblog, it went on the front page, etc. etc.
It took forever for the thing to get to my house, but it was well worth the time and money it cost.
Yup, I've been writing on Destructoid for exactly one year now. I was this close to forgetting about it too, but luckily Lawl and I were talking about old stuff and it somehow jogged my memory.
While I haven't traveled to any events (MAGfest here I come) or met any of you guys in real life, it's still been one of the best experiences of my young life. I'm sure you guys have all heard the speech, so I'll spare you just this once.
What would a post like this be without thanks? So here goes: super-wicked-sexytime thanks to Niero, Ron, Fronz, and Sheir for all of the things you guys have done for me. Mad love to y'all.
Now if only I could find all of the secret keys and gain access to the Pleasure Dome...
There were at least two Dtoid rooms going last night, this is a recap of the one with GuitarAtomik, BahamutZero, Heretic, Itemforty, Hoygeit, Lifehacker J, and some other people that Iím forgetting.
-Having a grenade explode behind you while jumping off of a two story building is fucking awesome.
-We somehow got the tires from a car (in the level Crash) to float in the air.
-Heretic is a bastard that loves using last stand. People on our team even made a proclamation when they killed him. If he ever tells you that this is his last match, for the love of God, do not believe him.
-GuitarAtomik is really, really good at this game. If you like winning, youíll want him on your team.
-When you hear the words, ďletís do dis,Ē your teammates must repeat the phrase in the correct accent.
-To the random dude that stayed with our team for most of the night, your laugh is absolutely insane.
This is a PSA of sorts. Some people already know the story, but what the fuck.
I went to Gamestop/EB Games today because BioShock doesn't come out for a while, and I don't really have any games to play. I was planning on picking up some older games and maybe even a Xbox 360 game.
I ended up buying XIII, Crimson Skies, and the original Splinter Cell all for a total of $10. They were obviously all used, but in very good condition. Then I happened to notice that SC: Double Agent was only $30 new. So of course, I bought that too.
Turns out I had accidentally picked up a used copy of Double Agent, because when I got home I noticed that the case wasn't sealed. No big deal, right? I mean I just saved a couple of bucks on a near-mint copy. Wrong. Instead of putting the correct game in the case, the fucking moronic Gamestop employee had put the original Xbox version of Double Agent in, not the 360 one.
What. The. Fuck.
By this point in time, my power levels were off the charts -- they must've been well over 9000. I mean, come on, how hard is it to differentiate between the two types of disks. One has a black top, the other has a white top. It's not fucking rocket science. The guy must've been too busy talking about preorders, because he asked me if I was going to preorder Halo 3 multiple times.
Anyways, I'm planning on heading back over to the store tomorrow. They better not give me any shit or I swear to God, I'll make a scene.
So next time you buy a used game, make sure to check the disk before you get home.