"Where do dreams end and reality begin? Videogames, I suppose."- Gainax, FLCL Vol. 1
"The beach, the trees, even the clouds in the sky... everything is build from little tiny pieces of stuff. Just like in a Gameboy game... a nice tight little world... and all its inhabitants... made out of little building blocks... Why can't these little pixels be the building blocks for love..? For loss... for understanding"- James Kochalka, Reinventing Everything part 1
"I wonder if James Kolchalka has played Mother 3 yet?" Jonathan Holmes
I think just about every of the editors here at Destructoid is twittering and tweeting with excitement over the new Punch-Out!! title coming this summer. Sure, it may not end up being that amazing of a game, but it's new Punch-Out!! ; something I don't think any of use were sure we'd ever see happen again.
When everybody wants to review a game, it's tough to claim it. We may end up doing a 4-12 person review or something crazy like that, but even then, it's highly likely that I wont get in on it. It's just the law of averages. The chances of me pulling the shortest straw just aren't that high.
This is my attempt to apply some shrinkage to my personally straw. These are the reasons why I think I think you should vote for me to be your Punch-Out!! reviewer.
#1- I'm pretty good at Super Punch-Out!!
I can knock down Nick Bruiser in under 6 seconds.
...and knock him out in under 15.
#2- I'll point out the finer details of the game
Did you know that the woman with the afro in the audience of Super Punch-Out!! is punching herself in the boob? Well, now you do, and you have me to thank for it.
If Punch-Out!! has any secretly, sexually self-abusive characters, you know that I'll be the one to find them.
#3- I look exactly like Punch-Out!! Wii's Disco Kid
My review of Punch-Out!! Wii will be like a report on the game from someone who is actually from the Punch-Out!! world. Wouldn't that be awesome? It will be like a review of the new Wolverine movie by the Blob, or a review of that other new, boring looking comedy about a bumbling mall cop by an actual boring, bumbling mall cop.
Wouldn't that be amazing? Right now, aren't you totally amazed with what I am saying?
#4- I own a Punch-Out!! trashcan
I'm not going to tell you how I got it, but I got it, and I look at it everyday.
I know the the other editors think about Punch-Out!! a lot too, but I don't think they think about it everyday vie trashcan like I do. That makes me special.
I'm super, duper special.
So, do I have your vote, or am I going to have to post more animated gifs of me posing shirtless as a obscure videogame characters, further ruining any chance I have of becoming out next president?