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"Where do dreams end and reality begin? Videogames, I suppose."- Gainax, FLCL Vol. 1

"The beach, the trees, even the clouds in the sky... everything is build from little tiny pieces of stuff. Just like in a Gameboy game... a nice tight little world... and all its inhabitants... made out of little building blocks... Why can't these little pixels be the building blocks for love..? For loss... for understanding"- James Kochalka, Reinventing Everything part 1

"I wonder if James Kolchalka has played Mother 3 yet?" Jonathan Holmes



Wild Holmes pic by Cadtalfryn



AnthonyDressRun sprites by Jonathan Holmes
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Today is the official start of Zombie month on the Wii
Jonathan Holmes | 11:54 AM on 02.11.2009 30 comments




House of the Dead: Overkill should be in stores today, and I'm pretty excited for it. I played the game for about 20 minutes at NY CC, and it was nothing special, but that's exactly what made it special. Just like with the new Friday 13th remake, I'm excited for HotD:Overkill because I know exactly what to expect. It's "junk food" gaming, and that's something I could use more of these days.



The junk will continue just a few days later when my review copy of Onechanbara: Bikini Zombie Slayers comes in the mail. I played a bit of the game at E3 last year, and it was even more of a guilty pleasure than HotD:Overkill. The difference between the two games is that HotD:Overkill seems to know that it's stupid, where Onechanbara seems deadly serious, like the previous HotD games were. It's that seriousness that made them so memorable, and so funny.

Also, I have to admit that I like bikini girls in cowboy hats, for both the camp, and for the normal "hetero" reasons.



Lastly, we have Dead Rising: Chop Till You Drop, which I'm extremely pumped for. At this point, I don't even really care if the game is good or not, I just want to know if all the negative-hype has been warranted. I've never seen a game get as much negative press as DR:CTYD, many times from people that have never even demo'ed the game. It's hard to imagine that the game is that bad, but if it is, that will make it legendary in itself.

More so, I still gotta believe that the game could be great. Twenty or so zombies on screen is plenty for my tastes, and as far as gameplay goes, I loved RE4, but only kind of liked the original DR on the 360. As long as the enemies are RE4-style aggressive in DR:CTYD, I can't imagine how they could screw it up.

But is they did screw it up, expect me to pull no punches in the Dtoid review. I will tear this game a new butt-hole if it manages to both crap all over DR and RE4 at the same time.

A new butt-hole. That's what I will tear it.



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29 comments | showing # 1 to 29
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Diverse's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/11/2009 12:36
Diverse
Both of my copies of Onechanbara should arrive on my front step tomorrow. Thank god for Amazon Prime.
MrSadistic's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/11/2009 12:36
MrSadistic
"I will tear this game a new butt-hole"

omg Holmes is a mad man!!!!
Jonathan Holmes's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/11/2009 12:44
Jonathan Holmes
Naw, I just love butt-holes.
gatorsax2010's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/11/2009 12:58
gatorsax2010
DAMN YOU TOO BIG IMAGE
Excel-2011's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/11/2009 13:23
Excel-2011
That's not Holmes.
Jonathan Holmes's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/11/2009 13:26
Jonathan Holmes
Holy crap! Sadly, that is me, and my big fat head.

Still, it's flattering as fuck to see my head on a poster like that. Thanks, Gator!
Excel-2011's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/11/2009 13:30
Excel-2011
You look a lot different than I imagined.
Jonathan Holmes's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/11/2009 13:34
Jonathan Holmes
If by "different" you mean "like crap", I totally agree.
Bob Muir's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/11/2009 14:06
Bob Muir
The reason Dead Rising Wii got so much negative press from people who haven't even demoed it is because people who have played it have heard what the changes are and know that they go completely against the intent of the original game. Taking out the soul of the original game and putting in the soul of another, well-liked game will not make a good game. It's good to see that the rumors around Dead Rising 2 point to it following in the footsteps of the original game and ignoring everything in the Wii port.
Lightthrower's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/11/2009 14:18
Lightthrower
That's a nice zombie month. I saw you play HotD Overkill earlier and i wanted to play it. Strange... very very strange coming from me.
Jonathan Holmes's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/11/2009 14:21
Jonathan Holmes
@ Necros- I know what you're saying, but still, you didn't see people freak out like this about the crappy Lego Star Wars: the Original Saga port to the DS, or Viewtiful Joe on the DS, or the painfully broken Street Fighter Alpha 2 port to the SNES.

There is something about DR:CTYD that causes people to really enjoy attacking it, that makes them happy to think about how absolutely awful it's going to be.

I've never seen anything quite like it. My only guess is that people love to bag on DR:CTYD because it makes them feel like the game's existance is "proof" that the 360 is a better console than the Wii.

Is that weird to anyone else?
Lightthrower's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/11/2009 14:29
Lightthrower
@Holmes

You could also include the Wii owners that are tired of only having ports to play on the Wii (coming from the 3rd parties).
Naim Master's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/11/2009 14:38
Naim Master
@Holmes:
But these games were crap ...(with the exception being Lego Star Wars ) and also , OMG , Holmes is the new Michael Jackson ?
Jonathan Holmes's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/11/2009 14:55
Jonathan Holmes
@ Lightthrower- Yeah, but I don't get the sense that the Wii owners who are sick of all the ports actually care enough about DR:CTYD to rag on it.

Maybe they do. I'm not sure.

@ Naim Master- Did you mean weren't crap? I guess that's a matter of opinion, but I thought that Viwtiful Joe DS was one of the worst games on the console. It took the "hook" of Viewtiful Joe, to throw 5-10 enemies on screen and rack up huge combos by beating on them all simultaniously, and ruined it by allowing only two enemies on screen at a time.

That's what I'm afraid that DR:CTYD will be like. If it is, I will tear it one.

A new butt-hole.
Tdiddy9182's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/11/2009 15:20
Tdiddy9182
I thought that picture was of the meat man, Reggie
Jonathan Holmes's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/11/2009 15:59
Jonathan Holmes
Oh shit, I'm as meaty as Reggie now?

That aint right...
Tony Ponce's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/11/2009 16:18
Tony Ponce
In the right light, Jonathan looks like a bit like OJ Simpson.
ZombiePlatypus's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/11/2009 16:23
ZombiePlatypus
Though I'm not getting any of those (360 Onechanbara for me), I won't begrudge you your Wii Zombie Month. Every zombie month is a good zombie month...
Qalamari's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/11/2009 17:17
Qalamari
Does Onechanbara have multiplayer at all? I'm thinking it might be the perfect game to complement pizza and beer during a male bonding weekend.
Jonathan Holmes's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/11/2009 17:45
Jonathan Holmes
@ Qalamari- Onechanbara: Bikini Zombie Slayers has offline, 2 player Co-op.

I just got home from the store and am dying to try it out (I'll just return my review copy later), but first I have to type up some Kororinpa impressions.

BlindsideDork tells me it's tons of fun, with more RPG elements than he bargained for.
TheCleaningGuy's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/11/2009 17:51
TheCleaningGuy
Well, this looks like quite a month for my Wii, I haven't been this excited Since No More Heroes and Brawl!
Bob Muir's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/11/2009 19:14
Bob Muir
@ Holmes

A DS game port is an obvious cash-in and to be expected, whereas we hold console games to a higher standard. I think a lot of concern is the fact that, regardless of what the Wii can pull it off, Dead Rising Wii is compromising the original game's vision. This is going to sound really pretentious, but I am totally against mucking up an artistic vision just to bring it to a new audience. I know it's not high art, but the original game had a clear direction and aesthetic, and this port completely destroys that. I can't blame Capcom for wanting more money, but I can criticize where their ports end up. This is nothing against the Wii, it's just that the game's design was not meant for the system, plain and simple.
Tony Ponce's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/11/2009 19:24
Tony Ponce
@Necros

Please, never bring up "vision" again.
Bob Muir's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/11/2009 21:00
Bob Muir
I apologize for sounding like one of those "games as art" dicks.
Jonathan Holmes's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/11/2009 21:20
Jonathan Holmes
@ Necros- You don't sound like a dick, but you do sound sort of... ridged.

Here's how I see it.

Imagine that the original Dead Rising is the Britney Spears pop hit "Hit me baby one more time" and that the Wii version is the acoustic cover of that song as performed by the rock group Travis. The Travis version has no expensive production values, no dance video, and it certainly doesn't have the "vision" of the Britney original (and by "vision", I mean "jailbait"), yet, you didn't see Britney Spears fans freaking out when that song was done.

You didn't see people writing comments like "The record company sold out by letting Travis do a cheap cover of Britney's hit single, just for the cash! Those evil fucks!". You just saw people who liked Travis say "huh, that's cute", and you say Britney fans totally ignore the song, and well, life just went on for both parties after that.

That's how I see DR:CTYD. It's a cover. It's Dead Rising played on a different instrument, and when played on that instrument, it's not the same song any more. In fact, it's not even in the same genre anymore. If you like the new genre more than the genre of the original (like I do), that's a good thing. If not, well, you've still got the original to enjoy, don't you?

If Capcom recalled every copy of Dead Rising on the 360 and forced people to play the Wii version instead of the rest of their lives, then I'd understand why this game has so many people upset, but all Capcom is doing is making an alternate version of one of their own games for a different audience.

Why is that such a big deal?
Tony Ponce's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/11/2009 21:39
Tony Ponce
Okay, Holmes, how closely do you follow Britney Spears's career that you even know the Britney Spears cover bands?
Bob Muir's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/11/2009 23:14
Bob Muir
It's really more like if the Travis cover version was the original and Britney Spears did a version of that, in terms of quality. If Dead Rising Wii were a cover, it would be trying to capture the feeling of the original while simultaneously doing something new with it. This is the equivalent of dressing a duck up as a dog. Sure, I like dogs better than ducks, but that doesn't mean that a duck would make a good dog, even if you work at it hard.

A better comparison would be for a film director to send off something like Million Dollar Baby, a film that's more about a father-daughter relationship than it is about boxing, and for the studio to have the film recut with additional footage to make it into a film about boxing with a happy ending.

Or if you're an anime fan, it's like an American company taking Cardcaptor Sakura, a magical girl series with a heavy focus on the bishoujo genre, and reediting it and changing the story to be more like a shonen series (think DBZ, Naruto, or Bleach) to appeal to a different audience. (This actually happened and was terrible.) If you didn't like the series before because it was a magical girl show, that's fine, you're entitled to your opinion, but trying to shoehorn the idea into the shonen genre makes for a slapped-together final result that neither pleases fans of the original show nor fans of the shonen genre.

Long story short, turning Dead Rising into a RE4 mod makes for a poor finished product and commoditizes the experience. Whether or not you like Mirror's Edge as it is, I do not want to see them shoehorn it into a third-person platforming environment just to please the people who didn't like the decisions they took during development. It's one thing to address complaints about a game during a rerelease, such as Capcom did with Devil May Cry 3: Special Edition, and another entirely to completely change the game to fit a different genre. Whereas gameplay was once tied to the story, strengthening both, you now have a story of a photojournalist stuck in a mall for 72 hours that is separated from the gameplay because of a lack of picture-taking and no strict time limits. The story is now grafted on.
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