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destructoid  Bad Joke Uncle

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Jonathan Holmes avatar 8:47 PM on 01.21.2010  (server time)
Seriously, what the f*ck is up with the Bayonetta commercials?

OK, I'm totally behind on EVERYTHING right now. I have Muscle March to finish playing for review (which is surprisingly hard) Dark Void Zero to finish for review (also surprisingly hard) and Fatal Frame 4 to try and complete for a potential import review (which is surprisingly awesome so far, could turn out to be my favorite horror game on the Wii). I'm also expecting NMH2 and Tatsunoko Vs Capcom in the mail tomorrow, then off to NYC on Saturday for the Tatsunoko Vs Capcom event, then I'll be editing video of the event, then more speed gaming, then review writing, etc etc.

With all that hanging over, why am I writing this pay-free, almost completely worthless C-blog? Well, it's because THE BAYONETTA COMMERCIAL IS SUCH SHIT AND I CAN'T WRAP MY HEAD AROUND IT.

Seriously, what the fuck happened? Why is that woman "singing" like that? What are those lyrics suppose to [b]be[/i]? Sexy? Is it sexy to whine and sound vaguely confused? And what the hell is she talking about at the end? "I hope you understand, tha abba go-ah ulha anne?" Why?

And are those supposed to be the coolest parts of Bayonetta? From a game with countless cool special kills, giant bosses, and cool characters, this is what they show? Bayonetta walking? A car flying through the air? Slow motion gun posing? In 2010? Seriously?

Seriously, I need to know what I'm missing here. Other than the "9 out of 10" score drop, I don't have any fucking clue what these commercials are possibly accomplishing.

Did you want Bayonetta more after watching that commercial? Can you at least tell me who you think these commercials are for?

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