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Jonathan Holmes 's blog
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"Where do dreams end and reality begin? Videogames, I suppose."- Gainax, FLCL Vol. 1

"The beach, the trees, even the clouds in the sky... everything is build from little tiny pieces of stuff. Just like in a Gameboy game... a nice tight little world... and all its inhabitants... made out of little building blocks... Why can't these little pixels be the building blocks for love..? For loss... for understanding"- James Kochalka, Reinventing Everything part 1

"I wonder if James Kolchalka has played Mother 3 yet?" Jonathan Holmes

Wild Holmes pic by Cadtalfryn

AnthonyDressRun sprites by Jonathan Holmes
Following (102)  


First, here is a audio review of Pikmin 3. It was going to be used for a video review of the game, but in the end, it wasn't. Some people like it. 

Is this a thing you'd like to hear more of? Also, feel free to make your own video with the track if you want. Some of you seem to like doing that sort of thing.

Second, here is a short reflection on Teenage Pokemon by Jonathan Glover of Sprites and Dice. It's called "What Teenage Pokemon taught me about my teenage self". It's pretty great. The line "These Pokemon are probably the most realistic teenagers I have ever encountered in fiction, and that's because they're not all written to be likable" means a lot to me. 

Thirdly, Michael "@mukyou" Jordan made a bunch of Teenage Pokemon merch, including shirts, phone cases, and underwear. Full disclosure - I'm not getting one red cent from the sales of these items. All the proceeds go to Michael and the artists from the show. I want them to get money for their hard work and I want people to wear Jim Sterling's glasses on their fannys. That's why I'm telling you about this, and that's why I might buy you some underwear. 

The first three people who tweet about the store and get 50 retweets will get a free pair of Ditto underwear. I'm not sure if any of you will be able to get that to happen, but if you do, I will be impressed and you will get booty shorts. So that's neat. 

Thanks for reading!

A lot of people told me right off the bat that I shouldn't make teenage pokemon, that I was doing it wrong and that i was trying too hard or not trying hard enough or that just watching the show gave them a terminal illness. That made me wonder "Am I making the world a worse place by trying to make my idea?"

This video proved to me that it was good that I tried to make my idea.

We started a new interview series called "Talk Fast" at PAX East this year and it was fun to do. We did one with Anthony Burch of Borderlands 2 and Runner fame, but the sound didn't sound.

You can play God by adding your own subtitles and/or talking to is. So do that. Do that now.

Tony Ponce, a bunch of other great people, and myself are all working on a sequel magazine to Nintendo Power. The first issue cost like $18 or something wild like that. All the profits went to charity, but still...yikes. That's a lot of money for a magazine, guys. Good thing it's a collectors item.

The high price didn't stop it from being a success though. Thanks to that success, we're coming back with more issues, this time for cheaper. You can get a yearly subscription of the digital version for $20, the physical version for $30, and a combo for $40.

If we keep picking up steam, we may even start running ads in the thing. That would allow us to sell it for even cheaper.

So that's fun.

Hamza told me to make a list of my favorite games of 2012 if I had any down time. I don't have any down time. I really should be recording more Teenage Pokemon audio, but that's really stressful (but really fun once you get past the fear of fucking up).

Instead, I will procrastinate by making a list of some games I like this year. For Hamza!

Rhythm Heaven Fever- It's the best surrealist rhythm game ever made. Sorry Lammy! I love you too

Skullgirls- If you didn't buy this game because it only has 8 characters, you failed. You will get way more than $15 worth of fun from mastering this fighter. It's basically the best Darkstalkers sequel never made.

Fez- It's a great place to be, and I love it.

Spelunky HD- It's a terrible place to be, but I love it.

La-Mulana- It's the WORST place to be, but I TOTALLY love it.

The Last Story- I get why people wouldn't enjoy it, but the game had just the right mix of genuine quality, and old-school, accidental self parody to make it work for me. The characters have the same charming, childliek quality of those found in something like Shenmue or Resident Evil 1, but the ideas and concepts behind the game are nearly as great as Final Fantasy 9's. I went in with low expectations, but had an amazing time.

Retro City Rampage- This is the kind of game that could only come from the mind of one very passionate fan of the medium. Having the opportunity to drive through the mind of a man like Brian Provinciano is pleasure indeed.

Cave Story Halloween re-make- It's Cave Story with Freddy Krueger, Samus Aran, and Morrigan from Darkstalkers.

Sakura Samurai- Punch Out crossed with Zelda in a feudal Japanese setting.

Little Inferno- It's like Cow Clicker on steroids.

Areo Porter- The game captures all the incredible pain and stress that can come from having a simple, seemingly unimportant job perfectly.

Hotline Miami- Death is real and it is awful.

Tokyo Jungle- I just bought it and it's so great, like a realistic version of Cubivore. This is the kind of game I wish Sony would trumpet instead of quietly sneak out the back door on PSN.

Lollipop Chainsaw- There are few videogame characters I relate more to than Juliet Starling.

Edit- Adding more games

Mutant Mudds- Like Fez, Mutant Mudds requires you to constantly shift your interpretation of the game's world due to the 3D nature of the playfield. Like Super Meat Boy, La-Mulana, and Spelunky, Mutant Mudds readies you to face seamingly insurmountable odds at any time, with only your understanding of how to "drive" your character around the playfield and your quick reflexes to help you survive.

Unlike those games, Mutant Mudds is also gives you a taste of power fantasy. You start off with a powerful lead character who has both a gun and a jetpack! Pretty intense, and quite unusual for the disempowerment-centric sub genre of "retro 2D platformer" The way the game balances player empowerment with raw challenge is one of the many things that make it special. Also, you can play as a grandma. It's rad.

Dsy4ia- Games are the greatest artistic medium we have for stepping into the skin of another human being. While most of you probably have no idea what it's like to experience gender reassignment, I promise you'll have a much stronger idea of the emotions involved in the process after playing this game. So go do that. It's free.

Resident Evil: Revelations- It's the real Resident Evil 6.

Edit- Adding more games again. Probably for the last time. This procrastination is getting ridiculous.

Adventure Time: Hey Ice king Why'd You Steal our Garbage- Some of the best graphics and music in any game ever. Remains extremely loyal to the source material. If this were my first 2D action/adventure/platformer, it would have etched itself in my mind as one of the best games ever, if not THE best. It's only because of my age and my brain that I just love it instead of TOTALLY loving it.

Denpa Men- It's a hard as hell turn based RPG about collecting little weird men in one piece pajamas and making them kill giant flying alligators.

Mighty Switch Force- Very similar to Mutant Mudds in the way it combines player empowerment, old school challenge, and messing with player focus and perspective, except Switch Force has more of a puzzle focus. It also has an ugly checkpoint dog. I love it.

Lone Survivor- The best 2D horror game ever made. Delves in the psychology of solitude, the paranoia of suspecting that both your internal and external world's are out to get you, and feeling of intimacy between between player, player character, and game developer that seems unique to games such as this. It's a special thing.

And there are a lot more games than that, but those are a few that I loved. I hope you like the list, Hamza![b]

Here is a list I've been working on for a few months (off and on). I was hoping to complete it after playing Kiki Trick and Dragon Quest X (as I feel like they'd end up ranking on here somewhere), but I don't know if and when that's going to happen. In fact, I'm not sure the "real" list is ever going to happen at all. This thing was supposed to be a top shelf, high class, Destructoid front page product, complete with little write ups on each game but for a variety of reasons, that's looking less and less like a possibility.

Contrary to what some may believe, I actually don't think that my opinion is all that interesting. I have very limited time and energy these days, and to use those resources to put something together that I don't even fin that interesting seems like a waste, especially when I could be using that time to do something that's a lot more worthwhile to the readers (like reviewing of Adventure Time: Hey Ice King Why'd You Steal Our Garbage).

That said, enough of you have asked me to try to throw together a list Wii games that are worth looking into, and I'm flattered as fuck that you'd be interested. I'd be a feel like a heel if I didn't make some effort to try to meet those requests, so here goes.

(Note: Not all of these games are Wii exclusives anymore. If they came to other home consoles, they required the PS Move in order to offer a similar experience as they did on the Wii, or came out way later, or both. That makes them legit in my mind.)

105) Alien Crush Returns
104) Rune Factory: Frontier
103) The Munchables
102) Onechanbara: Bikini Zombie Slayers
101) Disaster: Day of Crisis
100) Excite Bots
99) Pokemon Rumble
98) Star Soldier R
97) Metroid: Other M
96) Domino Rally
95) Alien Soldier (Virtual Console U.S. exclusive)
94) Bonzai Barber
93) Star Parodier (Virtual Console U.S. exclusive)
92) Pulse Man (Virtual Console U.S. exclusive)
91) NyxQuest
90) Strong Bad series
89) Opoona
88) Final Fantasy Crystal Chronicles: My Life as a King
87) Sonic Colors
86) Dead Space: Extraction
85) Wii Play: Motion
84) Epic Mickey
83) Battalion Wars 2
82) Night of the Sacrifice
81) Gradius 2 (Virtual Console U.S. exclusive)
80) Batman: The Brave and the Bold
79) Boom Blox 1 & 2
78) Elebits
77) House of the Dead: Overkill
76) Mushroom Men: Rise of the Fungi
75) Excitebike: World Rally
74) Ivy The Kiwi?
73) Ultimate Shooting Anthology
72) GoldenEye Remake
71) Final Fantasy 4: The After Years
70) Gradius Rebirth
69) De Blob
68) Wario Land: Shake It
67) Cho Aniki (Virtual Console U.S. exclusive)
66) Kororinpa: Marble Saga
65) Lets Tap
64) Dead Rising Chop Till You Drop
63) Another Code R (Trace Memory 2)
62) Muscle March
61) Pandora's Tower
60) Tomena Sanner
59) Lit
58) Contra Rebirth
57) Blast Works
56) Castlevania Rebirth
55) Final Fantasy Crystal Chronicles: My Life as a Dark Lord
54) President Cat (import)
53) Wario Ware: Smooth Moves
52) Resident Evil Umbrella Chronicles & Darkside Chronicles
51) Lost Winds 1 & 2
50) Lost in Shadow
49) And Yet It Moves
50) You, Me, and the Cubes
48) Do Ri Me Fantasy (Virtual Console U.S. exclusive)
47) Lets Catch
46) Klonoa
45) A Boy and His Blob
44) Snowpack Park
43) Silent Hill: Shattered Memories
42) Murmasa: The Demon Blade
41) Fire Emblem: Radient Dawn
40) Fragile Dreams
39) Donkey Kong: Jungle Beat NPC
38) MadWorld
37) Kirby's Epic Yarn
36) Xenoblade
35) Geometry Wars: Galaxies
34) Syobon Action (Wii Homebrew)
33) Super Paper Mario
32) Sin and Punishment (Virtual Console U.S. exclusive)
31) The Last Story
30) Captain Rainbow (import)
29) Metal Slug Anthology
28) Okami: Wii Edition
27) Fatal Frame 4/Fatal Frame 2: Wii Edition
26) La-Mulana
25) Trauma Center/Team series
24) Monster Hunter Tri
23) Sin and Punishment 2
22) Little King's Story
21) No More Heroes
20) Animal Crossing: City Folk
19) Kirby's Return to Dreamland
18) Zack and Wiki
17) New Super Mario Bros Wii
16) Tatsunoko Vs Capcom
15) Zelda: Twilight Princess
14) Castlevania: Rondo of Blood (Virtual Console U.S. exclusive)
13) Donkey Kong Country Returns
12) World of Goo
11) Punch-Out!!
10) Cave Story
9) No More Heroes 2
8) Resident Evil 4: Wii Edition
7) Rhythm Heaven Fever
6) Super Mario Galaxy
5) Zelda: Skyward Sword
4) Metroid Prime Trilogy
3) Bit.Trip Complete
2) Super Mario Galaxy 2
1) Super Smash Bros. Brawl

Argh! And that's the list for now.

I'm sure I missed a bunch of games (as this was generated purely from memory), there were some games that I love that didn't quite qualify because they were ports where the new controls didn't quite do enough to make Wii exclusivity notable enough (like Pikmin 2: NPC), and the ranking is totally subject to change depending on mood, but for now -- THIS IS A LIST.

Hope you found it interesting! Please sound off with your opinions! What games did I miss? What games should be removed from the list because they are, in fact, NOT one of my favorites?

Let your truths be known!