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Jonathan Holmes's blog
destructoid  Bad Joke Uncle

8:53 PM on 11.16.2012

My 100 (or so) favorite Wii exclusives (a work in progress)

Here is a list I've been working on for a few months (off and on). I was hoping to complete it after playing Kiki Trick and Dragon Quest X (as I feel like they'd end up ranking on here somewhere), but I don't know if and when that's going to happen. In fact, I'm not sure the "real" list is ever going to happen at all. This thing was supposed to be a top shelf, high class, Destructoid front page product, complete with little write ups on each game but for a variety of reasons, that's looking less and less like a possibility.

Contrary to what some may believe, I actually don't think that my opinion is all that interesting. I have very limited time and energy these days, and to use those resources to put something together that I don't even fin that interesting seems like a waste, especially when I could be using that time to do something that's a lot more worthwhile to the readers (like reviewing of Adventure Time: Hey Ice King Why'd You Steal Our Garbage).

That said, enough of you have asked me to try to throw together a list Wii games that are worth looking into, and I'm flattered as fuck that you'd be interested. I'd be a feel like a heel if I didn't make some effort to try to meet those requests, so here goes.

(Note: Not all of these games are Wii exclusives anymore. If they came to other home consoles, they required the PS Move in order to offer a similar experience as they did on the Wii, or came out way later, or both. That makes them legit in my mind.)

105) Alien Crush Returns
104) Rune Factory: Frontier
103) The Munchables
102) Onechanbara: Bikini Zombie Slayers
101) Disaster: Day of Crisis
100) Excite Bots
99) Pokemon Rumble
98) Star Soldier R
97) Metroid: Other M
96) Domino Rally
95) Alien Soldier (Virtual Console U.S. exclusive)
94) Bonzai Barber
93) Star Parodier (Virtual Console U.S. exclusive)
92) Pulse Man (Virtual Console U.S. exclusive)
91) NyxQuest
90) Strong Bad series
89) Opoona
88) Final Fantasy Crystal Chronicles: My Life as a King
87) Sonic Colors
86) Dead Space: Extraction
85) Wii Play: Motion
84) Epic Mickey
83) Battalion Wars 2
82) Night of the Sacrifice
81) Gradius 2 (Virtual Console U.S. exclusive)
80) Batman: The Brave and the Bold
79) Boom Blox 1 & 2
78) Elebits
77) House of the Dead: Overkill
76) Mushroom Men: Rise of the Fungi
75) Excitebike: World Rally
74) Ivy The Kiwi?
73) Ultimate Shooting Anthology
72) GoldenEye Remake
71) Final Fantasy 4: The After Years
70) Gradius Rebirth
69) De Blob
68) Wario Land: Shake It
67) Cho Aniki (Virtual Console U.S. exclusive)
66) Kororinpa: Marble Saga
65) Lets Tap
64) Dead Rising Chop Till You Drop
63) Another Code R (Trace Memory 2)
62) Muscle March
61) Pandora's Tower
60) Tomena Sanner
59) Lit
58) Contra Rebirth
57) Blast Works
56) Castlevania Rebirth
55) Final Fantasy Crystal Chronicles: My Life as a Dark Lord
54) President Cat (import)
53) Wario Ware: Smooth Moves
52) Resident Evil Umbrella Chronicles & Darkside Chronicles
51) Lost Winds 1 & 2
50) Lost in Shadow
49) And Yet It Moves
50) You, Me, and the Cubes
48) Do Ri Me Fantasy (Virtual Console U.S. exclusive)
47) Lets Catch
46) Klonoa
45) A Boy and His Blob
44) Snowpack Park
43) Silent Hill: Shattered Memories
42) Murmasa: The Demon Blade
41) Fire Emblem: Radient Dawn
40) Fragile Dreams
39) Donkey Kong: Jungle Beat NPC
38) MadWorld
37) Kirby's Epic Yarn
36) Xenoblade
35) Geometry Wars: Galaxies
34) Syobon Action (Wii Homebrew)
33) Super Paper Mario
32) Sin and Punishment (Virtual Console U.S. exclusive)
31) The Last Story
30) Captain Rainbow (import)
29) Metal Slug Anthology
28) Okami: Wii Edition
27) Fatal Frame 4/Fatal Frame 2: Wii Edition
26) La-Mulana
25) Trauma Center/Team series
24) Monster Hunter Tri
23) Sin and Punishment 2
22) Little King's Story
21) No More Heroes
20) Animal Crossing: City Folk
19) Kirby's Return to Dreamland
18) Zack and Wiki
17) New Super Mario Bros Wii
16) Tatsunoko Vs Capcom
15) Zelda: Twilight Princess
14) Castlevania: Rondo of Blood (Virtual Console U.S. exclusive)
13) Donkey Kong Country Returns
12) World of Goo
11) Punch-Out!!
10) Cave Story
9) No More Heroes 2
8) Resident Evil 4: Wii Edition
7) Rhythm Heaven Fever
6) Super Mario Galaxy
5) Zelda: Skyward Sword
4) Metroid Prime Trilogy
3) Bit.Trip Complete
2) Super Mario Galaxy 2
1) Super Smash Bros. Brawl

Argh! And that's the list for now.

I'm sure I missed a bunch of games (as this was generated purely from memory), there were some games that I love that didn't quite qualify because they were ports where the new controls didn't quite do enough to make Wii exclusivity notable enough (like Pikmin 2: NPC), and the ranking is totally subject to change depending on mood, but for now -- THIS IS A LIST.

Hope you found it interesting! Please sound off with your opinions! What games did I miss? What games should be removed from the list because they are, in fact, NOT one of my favorites?

Let your truths be known!   read

6:05 PM on 11.05.2012

Teenage Pokemon Pre-alpha build

Hey everybody.

I'm working on a show about teenagers and Pokemon called Teenage Pokemon. All the art is by Linzb0t. She is great.

Here's a rough look at some of the art and a smaaaaaaaall, out of context audio clip of some of the dialog. The sound quality is a bit crap. Don't know what happened there. Going to re-record as soon as I'm done with the Paper Mario: Sticker Star review and I figure out what the technical issue is (hopefully soon!)

I wanted to get your opinion on the work in progress. Tell me what you think! what would you like to see in the show, what you wouldn't like to see, how do you like the acting, the art, etc.

And here's some context! This episode is about Wartortle injecting his genitalia with Rare Candy in order to impress the girls. It's the first part of a two part blockbuster that will change your life.

I hope you like it!   read

9:25 PM on 10.23.2012

Persona Podcast and a Not-Viral video

Hey wieners. Sorry in advance for the shortblog, but I gotta finish this review of NightSky for the 3DS eShop and I can't let myself get too distracted. What a turd, right?

First off, I did a podcast with a guy named Spencer and a woman named Melissa and it's about Persona. I haven't listened to it so I can't tell you if it's good or bad, but I can promise you from the bottom of my heart that I had fun talking to them.

You can listen to it right now, right here

And their other episodes are right over here

Also, I made a not-viral video, so if you want to not-be the first person of not-millions to see the next not-hot internet not-sensation, then press the play button.

End of line.   read

12:17 PM on 09.23.2012

Top 10 things to love about the RE6 demo

10) It's like Uncharted, except the jumping and the banter have been replaced by MONSTERS!

9) It's like Call of Duty, except the 1st person camera angle and general combat system have been replaced by MONSTERS!

8) It's like Gears of War, except the tight gameplay has been replaced by MONSTERS!

7) It's like Dead Space 2, except the MONSTERS have been replaced with MONSTERS!

6) It's like Dead Rising, except all the cool do-it-yourself weapons have been replaced with KICK!

5) It makes me appreciate RE:Revlations a lot more.

4) The lighting is good sometimes.

3) Sherry Birkin was a cool character in RE2, and might be cool in this game too maybe I guess.

2) I like zombies.

1) It's great if you always wanted Resident Evil to abandon its unique, tension-inducing style of play in favor of a style that is EXACTLY every other modern 3rd person shooter, except more clunky, imbalanced, and generally crappy.   read

4:20 PM on 05.18.2012

My new favorite t-shirt ever

Before there was a Dtoid Show, before there was a Jimquisition, and way before I was ever sexually harassed on a podcast, there was a show called Sundays with Sagat.

I came up with the show shortly after Reverend Anthony Burch left Dtoid, taking his two excellent web series Rev. Rants and Hey Ash Whatcha Playin with him. I hated the idea of Dtoid having absolutely no original video series left, so more out of desperation than anything else, I started Sundays with Sagat. Not a lot of planning, no real strategy, just a video camera, a shaved head and chest, and some terrible green screen work. It was pretty weird.


I haven't done an epsiode of the show for about a year, and though I wouldn't mind doing more, it's hard to prioritize it while trying to keep two other shows (Sup Holmes and Talking to Women about Videogames) afloat, start a new one (Teenage Pokemon) and reboot at least one other (Constructoid). That said, I wouldn't say Sundays with Sagat is "dead". As long as there is at least one person out there that still likes the show, then it will be back.

While there are probably only a few Sundays with Sagat fans out there, their level of affection for the series borders on astounding. Dtoid's own Rob Morrow and his wife are two such fans. They're the people responsible for this Sundays with Sagat "Sunday" t-shirt (a play on the Banksy "Obey" meme). While I've always hoped that my videos would have traits of phenomenology to them, I would have never had the guts to designs a shirt like this, even as parody. To say that I'm flattered by the fact that Rob and his wife created this thing would be a monumental understatement.

There are 18 more of these shirts in existence as of this writing, and they wont be on sale for much longer. My understanding is that tonight is the last night that Rob is planning to keep them on sale. He only printed a little more than 20 of them, so if you want to be one of the few people to own this unique apparel-based dedication to Street Fighter, weird internet videos, and how dumb I'm willing to act in public, you better act fast.

To be clear, I'm not getting a dime of profits from the sales of these shirts, and I doubt Rob is making much money either. I'm also not quite a "personal friend" of Rob's. I like him a lot, but we've only communicated over the internet (Dtoid, email, and Twitter) and through Christmas cards.

He didn't create this shirt to make money or because we're such close friends. He created these shirts purely out of love for Sundays with Sagat. If I ever do the series again, it will be in large part due to the fact that I want to make this man happy. It's the least I could do to thank him for putting the work in to make my face look good on such an awesome shirt.

Here is the link again if you need it.   read

5:39 PM on 01.22.2012

I'm in a magazine and I got some stuff!

Hey get ready for a blog about me and stuff that's great for me! It's all about me, everybody! I have no idea why you would care about any of this, but here we go!

First up, I was published in latest Gamefan magazine! Actually, both me and Dtoid's Welsey Ruscher were both published in this issue! If you like Dtoid, you should buy it, because it is like Dtoid in magazine form. Classic Gamefan (and it's spin-offs Mega Fan, Game-On, and multiple strategy guides from Versus Books) were pretty much the inspiration for me to write about videogames, so getting to write for the magazine both felt like a dream come true and a welcoming home. And look how big it is! Much bigger than stupid old Game Informer!

It's a pretty hard magazine to find, but if you look at your local mega book store (yes, they aren't all out of business... yet) you might be able to find one.

Here is my spread! It's about the recent Level-5 event and the games that were talked about there, including Ni No Kuni, Guild 01, and the new Layton games. Don't try to zoom in and read it because it wont work unless you have very small, very powerful eyeballs (like a very little microscope).

That's not all I got in the mail! I also got a hardcopy of Magnus "Souleye" Palsson's new CD, Adventure. His cover of the Talking to women about videogames song is on it! I'm so flattered!

I also got some awesome stuff in the mail from some community members... last month. I've been meaning to thank them since then, but I keep getting side tracked. I'm sorry guys! Thank you so much!

First up is a Skyward Sword Christmas card and Lollipop Chainaw sticker from Swishee-

Some rad videogames and a Jonathan Holmes Defense Club membership card from Vlah Zhao-

And a Lollipop Chainsaw foam chainsawfrom Swishee, and a Chimpmunks movie from Adam Dork-

Adam sent me some other stuff too, but it was too evil to show you. WAY TOO EVIL!

I am pretty sad and stressed out at the moment, pretty much on my own with a lot of daunting new stuff in life, but with people being this good to me, it's pretty easy to cheer myself up, at least for a moment. Thank you guys SO MUCH for being so good to me. I really don't deserve it, but that doesn't mean I'm not grateful. I look forward to the opportunity to attempt to make you all as happy as you have made me.


10:54 PM on 11.27.2011

My Favorite Teddy Bear

So I might be starting a new call-in show here on Dtoid within the coming weeks. The show wont work unless you guys call in, so please call in! I would like that.

I'm also going to go public with the full length version of the Talking to Women about Videogames theme song(s) in the next few days. I'll also be asking the community if they want to help make the video for the song. I'm hoping for it to come out like a cross between Lesko's Revenge and We Come Together;. It's the kind of project that could work really well as a collaboration, even with people that have never met.


I'll also be inviting anyone and everyone who is interested to make a remix of the song. The top 3 remixes will be uploaded to the Talking to Women about Videogames music homepage, and sold for $.50 a pop. All profits go to the remixer. Details on that whole thing are still being worked out. We may endorse more than 3 remixes if they are more than 3 that are just too unbelievably good to pass up. Who knows? I have no expectations. In fact, I'll be flattered and pleased if even one of you goes out of your way to make one half-assed, 10 second remix of my crappy song. That said, this community never ceases to amaze me, so my hopes remain high.

Low expectations, high hopes. That's how I like it.

Finally, here is an excerpt from my first Podcast. I was 5 years old at the time of the recording, visiting London with my mother and my brother. My brother 6 years older, and a big fan of heavy metal and sketch comedy. He wanted to make a tape recording that day, and here's what we came up with.


If you want to hear the full thing, let me know. It's about ten minutes long, and a little bit painful to listen to, because I'm 5 and my brother is 11. We were far from master entertainers and/or conversationalists at that age. Still, I'll upload it for you if you want to hear it.

OK, that's it! I love you guys! Bye!   read

9:25 PM on 10.25.2011

Cool story, bro

I was at Gamestop the other day, and the clerks were like "you pre-order Battlefield 3 yet, dawg?" and I was like "OH NO! No way. No-no-no!


It is such a sad waste, the way so many game developers today are squandering the endless potential of videogames as a medium in favor of containing to produce these overly expensive, over-hyped titles that deliver evoke no thought and feelings in the player other than "'uys shooting guys over and over an over again is good'.

You can do anything with a videogame! The only limit is your own imagination! You can create an experience that fuses motion, visuals, and sound together as one like Child of Eden, or a game that cleverly parodies and pays tribute to gamers and gaming like No More Heroes, or use videogames as a metaphor for each stage of a persons like like the Bit.Trip SAGA, or create a beautiful world of interesting and original personalities like Street Fighter, Metal Gear, Zelda, Skyrim, and so many others.

There are so many examples of the amazing things that games are capable of, with so much left to be explored, and all these guys could come up with is... another game about shooting at and being shot by strangers?


Then they were like "Want to put $5 down on Modern Warfare 3, dawg?"

After that, I took my copy of Aliens Infestation and went home. It's pretty good!

[PS- I have nothing against people who call other people "dawg". I actually think its really cute!]   read

6:19 PM on 06.22.2011

Thanks to everyone who helped me through the burglary!

As some of you may know, my place was broken into shortly after PAX East 2011. My video camera, my PS3, my Wii, my PC, and a over 50 games were stolen. I still haven't recovered all that stuff, and I probably never will, but that's really OK. The kindness that the burglary brought in people, many of which I have never met, has made the whole traumatic event worth it.

If it weren't for the donations and support that I received from the Destructoid community, I would not have been able to do any video work at E3 this year. Basically, each and every video I've done since March, and every video I plan to do throughout this year, is because of you guys. I you get of sicking my face on the front page, you only have yourselves to to blame.

Without naming names, I want to show you some of the stuff that people sent to me to show their support. I love you all equally, but I love some people more equally than others. Most of you have already received your thank you gifts, some of you still have your gifts on the way, but regardless, you know who you are, and I hope you know how much your unbridled generosity means to me.

Thanks again everyone! I'll never forget you!   read

11:24 PM on 01.11.2011

Xmas card gratitude, Kratos's speech origin stories, Boglin, and Constructoid


Thanks to Dtoid TEHMORROW. He sent me a Christmas card. I still can't believe it! I was so God damned touched that he bothered to send me something.

Pics attached.

If he had sent me his address, I would have sent him something in return. If you're reading this TEHMORROW, PM me so I can get your address and mail you some crap.


Did you see The Destructoid Show Awards Show 2010 part 1? If you didn't here it is. Checking out the first couple of awards will give the proper context for this next bit.


See the Kratos acceptance speech? That was me! Weird, right? I barely recognized me myself.

It was never the plan for me to be Kratos. We shot the awards show the morning of the day that I had to start my cross country drive from San Fransisco to Boston. The idea was that a Dtoid staff member (who shall remain nameless) was to do Kratos's acceptance speech, and send the video to Revision3 while I was on the road.

Well, when I got back to Massachusetts, I found out that the Dtoid staff member in question was having technical difficulties, so they couldn't get their video done in time. Revision3 needed a Kratos acceptance speech in a few hours.

I was freaking out.

With no other recourse, I decided to try to do it myself, because I couldn't expect anyone else to snap to it, not on that short of notice. To make matters worse, I had left my hair clippers in San Fransisco, so I had to shave my head with hair clippers that aren't meant for clipping hair from your... head. It took a while, and it was fairly painful.

To save time, I didn't even shave my whole head. See if you can see the hair in this picture.

Anyway, after shaving my head as much as I could, I dug up as much make-up as I could find from under the sink (where I keep my make-up),and then tried to think of something to say.In case you couldn't tell, I didn't come up with much, but hopefully it still turned out OK.

I really hope Kratos wins something again this year, and that they let me take another crack at the speech. I know I could do better next time!

Also, I had to do the old man dog shadow puppet speech at the last minute as well. Here's the unedited version.


I have no idea what I was going for on that one.



So, we've got two episodes of Contrustoid in the can. Like with Sunday's with Sagat (the weekly series I was doing for a while), time constraints were an issue in terms of production. I just didn't have the time to put as much into these as I wanted. Deadlines for reviews and previews are breathing down my neck. It would have been irresponsible for me to abandon those responsibilities for this experimental little show we've been working on. That said, I know that there are a few parts of the show that are definitely awesome (at least to me).

Also, Constructoid doesn't have the technical issues that Sunday's with Sagat suffered from, at least, not so far. No Green screen mishaps, no bad sound, etc. Just now, I found a few seconds in one episode where an animation was missing, but I'll probably be able to get that fixed before it gets posted.

Speaking of that, it's still not determined if Constructoid will be a segment on the Dtoid show, it's own thing, or both. Either way, I'd really watched it whenever it appears, and telling me what you think of it. Like everything I do, I do it solely to interact with you guys; my chosen videogame community.

And I hope you're watching the Dtoid show! It's reached new heights of late. I can't wait to visit the set in San Fransisco, if not just to watch Max and Tara do their thing. I probably wont be able to get down there until summer, but that's OK. It give me something to look forward to.


Awesome, right?

Also, is "cool story bro" still a thing that internet people are doing all the time? If so, I imagine a few of you will be commencing with that in the comments below.   read

10:08 PM on 01.05.2011

What I learned from Microsoft's CES 2011 key note presentation


3:17 PM on 10.01.2010

We need Character Studies vids, and other stuff

* We're fresh out of videos for the Character Studies series, so if you were thinking about doing one, now's the time. I'm trying to stay on a weekly schedule, so it would be good to get one by Wednesday. I know Epic-Koryuken and UsedTable were working on one. Are you reading this guys? Get on that.

Worst case scenario, I may get someone here at Dtoid HQ to do something, but that probably wont be pretty.

* I keep trying to write a import preview of Pokemon White, but every time I start, Pokemon White sabotages the whole plan. I'll start writing, then boot up the game to refresh my memory on something. After that, I get inescapably sucked into the game until I'm forced to do something else (answer the phone, go to the bathroom, go to an industry event, write other stuff, sleep, etc).

No more excuses! As soon as I'm done with this From Dust write up, I'm tackling (ha, get it?) the Pokemon post. Watch for it.

* Bit.Trip BEAT came out on iPhone/iPad yesterday. It's extremely good.

*I bought tons of stuff in Japan. Do you want to see it? If so, I'll do a photo blog. Let me know.   read

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