"Where do dreams end and reality begin? Videogames, I suppose."- Gainax, FLCL Vol. 1
"The beach, the trees, even the clouds in the sky... everything is build from little tiny pieces of stuff. Just like in a Gameboy game... a nice tight little world... and all its inhabitants... made out of little building blocks... Why can't these little pixels be the building blocks for love..? For loss... for understanding"- James Kochalka, Reinventing Everything part 1
"I wonder if James Kolchalka has played Mother 3 yet?" Jonathan Holmes
Hey get ready for a blog about me and stuff that's great for me! It's all about me, everybody! I have no idea why you would care about any of this, but here we go!
First up, I was published in latest Gamefan magazine! Actually, both me and Dtoid's Welsey Ruscher were both published in this issue! If you like Dtoid, you should buy it, because it is like Dtoid in magazine form. Classic Gamefan (and it's spin-offs Mega Fan, Game-On, and multiple strategy guides from Versus Books) were pretty much the inspiration for me to write about videogames, so getting to write for the magazine both felt like a dream come true and a welcoming home. And look how big it is! Much bigger than stupid old Game Informer!
It's a pretty hard magazine to find, but if you look at your local mega book store (yes, they aren't all out of business... yet) you might be able to find one.
Here is my spread! It's about the recent Level-5 event and the games that were talked about there, including Ni No Kuni, Guild 01, and the new Layton games. Don't try to zoom in and read it because it wont work unless you have very small, very powerful eyeballs (like a very little microscope).
That's not all I got in the mail! I also got a hardcopy of Magnus "Souleye" Palsson's new CD, Adventure. His cover of the Talking to women about videogames song is on it! I'm so flattered!
I also got some awesome stuff in the mail from some community members... last month. I've been meaning to thank them since then, but I keep getting side tracked. I'm sorry guys! Thank you so much!
First up is a Skyward Sword Christmas card and Lollipop Chainaw sticker from Swishee-
Some rad videogames and a Jonathan Holmes Defense Club membership card from Vlah Zhao-
And a Lollipop Chainsaw foam chainsawfrom Swishee, and a Chimpmunks movie from Adam Dork-
Adam sent me some other stuff too, but it was too evil to show you. WAY TOO EVIL!
I am pretty sad and stressed out at the moment, pretty much on my own with a lot of daunting new stuff in life, but with people being this good to me, it's pretty easy to cheer myself up, at least for a moment. Thank you guys SO MUCH for being so good to me. I really don't deserve it, but that doesn't mean I'm not grateful. I look forward to the opportunity to attempt to make you all as happy as you have made me.
So I might be starting a new call-in show here on Dtoid within the coming weeks. The show wont work unless you guys call in, so please call in! I would like that.
I'm also going to go public with the full length version of the Talking to Women about Videogames theme song(s) in the next few days. I'll also be asking the community if they want to help make the video for the song. I'm hoping for it to come out like a cross between Lesko's Revenge and We Come Together;. It's the kind of project that could work really well as a collaboration, even with people that have never met.
I'll also be inviting anyone and everyone who is interested to make a remix of the song. The top 3 remixes will be uploaded to the Talking to Women about Videogames music homepage, and sold for $.50 a pop. All profits go to the remixer. Details on that whole thing are still being worked out. We may endorse more than 3 remixes if they are more than 3 that are just too unbelievably good to pass up. Who knows? I have no expectations. In fact, I'll be flattered and pleased if even one of you goes out of your way to make one half-assed, 10 second remix of my crappy song. That said, this community never ceases to amaze me, so my hopes remain high.
Low expectations, high hopes. That's how I like it.
Finally, here is an excerpt from my first Podcast. I was 5 years old at the time of the recording, visiting London with my mother and my brother. My brother 6 years older, and a big fan of heavy metal and sketch comedy. He wanted to make a tape recording that day, and here's what we came up with.
If you want to hear the full thing, let me know. It's about ten minutes long, and a little bit painful to listen to, because I'm 5 and my brother is 11. We were far from master entertainers and/or conversationalists at that age. Still, I'll upload it for you if you want to hear it.
I was at Gamestop the other day, and the clerks were like "you pre-order Battlefield 3 yet, dawg?" and I was like "OH NO! No way. No-no-no!
It is such a sad waste, the way so many game developers today are squandering the endless potential of videogames as a medium in favor of containing to produce these overly expensive, over-hyped titles that deliver evoke no thought and feelings in the player other than "'uys shooting guys over and over an over again is good'.
You can do anything with a videogame! The only limit is your own imagination! You can create an experience that fuses motion, visuals, and sound together as one like Child of Eden, or a game that cleverly parodies and pays tribute to gamers and gaming like No More Heroes, or use videogames as a metaphor for each stage of a persons like like the Bit.Trip SAGA, or create a beautiful world of interesting and original personalities like Street Fighter, Metal Gear, Zelda, Skyrim, and so many others.
There are so many examples of the amazing things that games are capable of, with so much left to be explored, and all these guys could come up with is... another game about shooting at and being shot by strangers?
DEPRESSING! I WILL NOT SUPPORT IT!"
Then they were like "Want to put $5 down on Modern Warfare 3, dawg?"
After that, I took my copy of Aliens Infestation and went home. It's pretty good!
[PS- I have nothing against people who call other people "dawg". I actually think its really cute!]
As some of you may know, my place was broken into shortly after PAX East 2011. My video camera, my PS3, my Wii, my PC, and a over 50 games were stolen. I still haven't recovered all that stuff, and I probably never will, but that's really OK. The kindness that the burglary brought in people, many of which I have never met, has made the whole traumatic event worth it.
If it weren't for the donations and support that I received from the Destructoid community, I would not have been able to do any video work at E3 this year. Basically, each and every video I've done since March, and every video I plan to do throughout this year, is because of you guys. I you get of sicking my face on the front page, you only have yourselves to to blame.
Without naming names, I want to show you some of the stuff that people sent to me to show their support. I love you all equally, but I love some people more equally than others. Most of you have already received your thank you gifts, some of you still have your gifts on the way, but regardless, you know who you are, and I hope you know how much your unbridled generosity means to me.
Thanks to Dtoid TEHMORROW. He sent me a Christmas card. I still can't believe it! I was so God damned touched that he bothered to send me something.
If he had sent me his address, I would have sent him something in return. If you're reading this TEHMORROW, PM me so I can get your address and mail you some crap.
BEHIND THE SCENES OF THE DESTRUCTOID SHOW AWARDS SHOW
Did you see The Destructoid Show Awards Show 2010 part 1? If you didn't here it is. Checking out the first couple of awards will give the proper context for this next bit.
See the Kratos acceptance speech? That was me! Weird, right? I barely recognized me myself.
It was never the plan for me to be Kratos. We shot the awards show the morning of the day that I had to start my cross country drive from San Fransisco to Boston. The idea was that a Dtoid staff member (who shall remain nameless) was to do Kratos's acceptance speech, and send the video to Revision3 while I was on the road.
Well, when I got back to Massachusetts, I found out that the Dtoid staff member in question was having technical difficulties, so they couldn't get their video done in time. Revision3 needed a Kratos acceptance speech in a few hours.
I was freaking out.
With no other recourse, I decided to try to do it myself, because I couldn't expect anyone else to snap to it, not on that short of notice. To make matters worse, I had left my hair clippers in San Fransisco, so I had to shave my head with hair clippers that aren't meant for clipping hair from your... head. It took a while, and it was fairly painful.
To save time, I didn't even shave my whole head. See if you can see the hair in this picture.
Anyway, after shaving my head as much as I could, I dug up as much make-up as I could find from under the sink (where I keep my make-up),and then tried to think of something to say.In case you couldn't tell, I didn't come up with much, but hopefully it still turned out OK.
I really hope Kratos wins something again this year, and that they let me take another crack at the speech. I know I could do better next time!
Also, I had to do the old man dog shadow puppet speech at the last minute as well. Here's the unedited version.
I have no idea what I was going for on that one.
CONSTRUCTOID IS COMING
So, we've got two episodes of Contrustoid in the can. Like with Sunday's with Sagat (the weekly series I was doing for a while), time constraints were an issue in terms of production. I just didn't have the time to put as much into these as I wanted. Deadlines for reviews and previews are breathing down my neck. It would have been irresponsible for me to abandon those responsibilities for this experimental little show we've been working on. That said, I know that there are a few parts of the show that are definitely awesome (at least to me).
Also, Constructoid doesn't have the technical issues that Sunday's with Sagat suffered from, at least, not so far. No Green screen mishaps, no bad sound, etc. Just now, I found a few seconds in one episode where an animation was missing, but I'll probably be able to get that fixed before it gets posted.
Speaking of that, it's still not determined if Constructoid will be a segment on the Dtoid show, it's own thing, or both. Either way, I'd really watched it whenever it appears, and telling me what you think of it. Like everything I do, I do it solely to interact with you guys; my chosen videogame community.
And I hope you're watching the Dtoid show! It's reached new heights of late. I can't wait to visit the set in San Fransisco, if not just to watch Max and Tara do their thing. I probably wont be able to get down there until summer, but that's OK. It give me something to look forward to.
I FOUND MY BOGLIN
Also, is "cool story bro" still a thing that internet people are doing all the time? If so, I imagine a few of you will be commencing with that in the comments below.