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Hey everyone, I'm Conor. I'm a member of Destructoid's community team, and Andy Dixon is my boss. I'm a 29 year old who spent way too much time drinking and playing games to get anything done in life until now. I've been playing since Atari 2600. I remember the older Atari's and Colecovision and that stuff, but was to young to get any real play time. I play everything; regardless of what you may assume by my handle (Jon Bloodspray), I'm not all about the FPS. My Top 5, in no order are probably as follows: World of Warcraft, Conkers Bad Fur Day, Halo: Combat Evolved, Super Mario 64, Mega Man 2.

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MAGFest X: My list of things to do (and some not to do).
Conor Elsea | 11:09 AM on 12.29.2011 14 comments



Sick of seeing this yet?

In less than a week people will be showing up at my house as part of the Great Midwest MAGFest Caravan of '12. With MAGFest drawing so near it seemed like it's about time I made an agenda. I thought I'd share it, so any first timers can get an idea of what they're in for. Or, if you've previously attended you might just want to compare experiences. Here's my list of to do's (and don'ts) for MAGFest X.

Ms. Pac-Man


Ms. Pac-Man is one of my favorite games of all time. I like Señor Pac-Man well enough, but his wife is just too irresistable for me to stay away. Any time I see a Ms. Pac-Man machine that bitch is getting some quarters shoved into her slot. Last year at MAGfest I had a goal of setting the high score on their cabinet.


This was not the high score run, unless we're talking about the amount of scotch in my system.

I managed to sober up a bit on Sunday, shortly before the place closed down, and set the high score on my first quarter. I hope to repeat that shit year.

Not get arrested/thrown out.

I simply look too fabulous to be removed.

Sometimes things that seem like a good idea really aren't. Like elevator parties. Trust me on this one, the MAGFest and hotel staff do not look kindly on those. I was in the process of getting thrown out last year when by some miracle Dtoider dyganth managed to talk the staffer out of it. There was another incident involving Jon St. John, a broken lamp, and a funny smell from the bathroom that caused Mr. MAGFest himself to come up to the room in lieu of security. I'd rather not push my luck again this year.

Drink a fuck load of booze.

This about covers Thursday night.

Look, I drink. Probably way too much. Lately, however, I've been trying to cut back so my liver doesn't fail on me before I turn 40. At MAGFest though, all bets are off. There most likely will be very few moments in which I will be seen without an alcoholic beverage in my hand.


Coffee in my coffee cup? Nah, that's scotch.

Between room parties and boozing discretely on the hotel floor the flow of alcohol into my system will be as reliable and consistent as a hospital saline drip. I handle my booze pretty well, but it you don't (or don't know) you may want to pay careful attention to my next point...

Don't black out.


Yeah. That. On one night last year I lost about 2 hours. When I say lost, I mean that they are fucking gone. The last anyone saw me I was in the arcade sitting at a shmup cabinet, and then I just dissappeared. A couple hours later I showed up back at the room and passed out. No one knows where I had been, and I never remembered. This year I'd like to avoid that. I can get pretty ridiculous when I'm really drunk, and who knows what the fuck kind of trouble I could get myself into.

Listen to more music.


There is music everywhere at MAGFest. Yes, you have concerts and the JamSpace, but music flows all along the hallways and rooms. Last year the only scheduled concert I attended was The Protomen, but I heard plenty of music over the weekend. We played a little but in the room even, with just a guitar, violin, and set of bongos and it was super fun. My highlight though, is walking through the halls to see a duet playing ”Phantom Train” from Final Fantasy VI on a piano and violin. This year I want to see a lot more acts, with DJ Cutman and Earthbound Papas topping my list.


Hang out with Dtoiders.

Ok, this is the last time I post this picture, I promise. Probably. Maybe.

If you've been to MAGFest or either PAX or any Dtoid gathering, you know exactly what I'm talking about already. These are the times where our community comes out of our little corner of the internet and shines with the blinding light of pure awesome. The majority of my friends are now Dtoiders that I've met at these events. There will be reunions and new friendships founded, and all of them will be SW33T. This is really the best part of any gaming event. I can't wait to meet new people, see old friends, and drink entirely too much with everybody.

Play games.

Seriously.

The arcade is fucking huge. Seriously, you can't really grasp it's enormity until you've seen it. It has just about every game you could want and then some. On top of that, a lot of people bring games with them so the rooms can easily become emulator dens, Street Fighter tournaments, or speed run competitions. Last year I found that I really enjoyed shmups and spent hours playing them. I'd love to broaden my gaming horizons even further this year, and there's no place better to achieve that than MAGFest. There's also X-MEN, Dance Dance Revolution, Rock Band, and a great deal of other stuff to do with your friends. I can't wait to get lost in that labyrinth of sprites, polygons, and pixels once again.

Wear a suit.


I very rarely get to dress up, but the times I do are most often Dtoid related. This year will be no different. Saturday I'm suiting up for Suiterday, regardless of whether or not anyone joins me. I clean up nice dammit, and will take any opportunity to do so. Join me, and let's pretend we're classy for a night.

So that's my list for MAGFest. I think it's pretty good, but do you think there's anything I missed? If you have suggestions for anything I may have missed let me know in the comments, or share your own agendas for the weekend.

Can't wait to see you all soon!



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13 comments | showing # 1 to 13
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Mr Gobbldigook's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/29/2011 12:41
Mr Gobbldigook
imma bring food so we can MAGFEAST!!!!
ZombiePlatypus's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/29/2011 12:41
ZombiePlatypus
I want to ALCOHOL with you so bad, Conor.
Conor Elsea's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/29/2011 12:48
Conor Elsea
If we get hungry after we ALCOHOL we can meet Sam and MAGFEAST.
Mr Andy Dixon's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/29/2011 13:10
Mr Andy Dixon
That MAGFest logo looks like DOOM. No idea why I'm just now noticing that.
Aurain's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/29/2011 13:21
Aurain
I want to have homosexual intercouse with Conor so bad.


I mean.



Yeah, that.
Tarvu's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/29/2011 13:56
Tarvu
Must build a transatlantic ark.
Daze's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/29/2011 14:27
Daze
Can't we ALCOHOL and MAGFEAST at the same time?
Alasdair Duncan's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/29/2011 18:27
Alasdair Duncan
How can I MAGFEST with your ALCHOHOL in my mouth? Actually, I'm pretty sure I could do both.
ZombiePlatypus's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/29/2011 19:26
ZombiePlatypus
You *should* do both. HIJACK A PLANE, ALI!!
YOU AND YOUR TERRORIST BEARD!! <3
ScottyG's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/30/2011 03:11
ScottyG
I would so Ms. Pac Man with you at MAGFest if I was going. One of the two arcade cabinets I'd like to own someday.
Kaggen's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/30/2011 07:52
Kaggen
Looks like some amazing resolutions for an amazing event! How dare you fondle a married woman?
manasteel88's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/30/2011 11:20
manasteel88
Did you just ask Ms. Pacman if she could hear you? That's pretty cruel you know.

She's deaf.

All she hears is "Wakka Wakka"
nekobun's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/30/2011 12:48
nekobun
ctrl+f "hot ramona flowers from last year" NOT FOUND
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