Review: Yoostar 2, the game that doesn't let you be creative

As once a person who was in the spotlight on stages across the US, after being off the music circuit for over a year, you miss the "performance" more than anything. It's an addiction like no other. So for some odd Reason, I decided to acquire a copy of Yoostar 2.
For I would take my creativity from the music world, and go into Acting. Hell there's not much of a difference, basically you just say a bunch of words, prance around doing various actions, and then show it off to random people viewing the attraction.

this game will not get you on a Late Night show

This post is more or less going to be an overall review. We'll just get to the point:
Kinect controls are annoying as hell, with the game not giving you the option to just use the controller to scroll through the menus. This makes you not enjoy the game very much because you're too busy flailing your arms like some elderly lady without a med alert bracelet on who has fallen and cannot get up.

where's the beef?

As far as the sound goes, its pretty spot on with recording your levels and maximizing them to be around the same level as the games. But, you'll have a hell of a time trying to get the lighting just right so you look decent in the camera and the image you'll be basically green screened onto. After about 30 minutes of adjusting lamps, adding spotlights, putting on strobes, using a 6 foot tall robot we used to shoot lasers at kids during shows, and throwing up a lighter as if the game was playing Freebirds solo, I said screw it and just dealt with the cards Kenny Rogers gave me.

you gotta know when to hold em...know when to fold em

I started figuring out what movie I wanted to be a part of. Which, there's a good selection...but its missing great movies like Pulsebeat, Samurai Cop, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Secret of the Ooz, The Never Ending Story 3, any Channing Tatum dance movies, or adult movies. So I decided to test my whits at Beverly Hills Cop.

oh snap Judge Reinhold!

But......you dont get to be Judge Reinhold...no, you get to do 1 scene from the movie where you pick either Eddie Murphy or some Host at some fancy place. Anywho, I did my spill, looking mighty awesome I did, and I was ready to post this for all my friends to watch. Which is not as easy as it sounds. You follow the directions it gives you, which are the wrong directions.

Not even trained Actors can understand what the hell is happening

So after hours of trying to figure out how to link the stupid facebook/twitter horseshit that you have to find a magical compass that unlocks the Davinci Code, you can upload your masterpiece. However....there is a catch. Even though the game lets you chose to read the script, or improv, when you change the script there can be some complications.There's some sort of Filter, that wont let you upload videos if you say certain words because I assume only children play Yoostar and no adults can use their vast language skills within this title. Every piece of slang word, or words used in our awful english language pretty much are thrown out the window.
Here are a few words and phrases(with visuals) in my original recordings that were flagged "we're not going to let you upload this because you're an asshole and you can't say that in a video"
1) Black People


2) Hookers
sorry this is a site where kids read this stuff

3) Herpes(even though Eddie Murphy can say it in the game)


4) Giant Cock


5) Yoostar developers can go f*ck themselves for this shotty bullshit

6) Kevin Arnold in the Wonder Years never once took a shit in his parents oven.


sidenote: Folks, I'll be honest here, there's a reason I was a guitarist and remembered only certain singing parts to songs for harmonies because my mind is too out there to remember stories in full and I can only do 1.5 things at a time. I'm an improv guy. I can wing about anything and make it either sound good or bullshit my way though almost any situation.

I now present you my debut acting moment:

someone give this kid an Oscar Grammy Moon Man Emmy Choice Award thing

After such a "fun" time I had exploring the could be possibilities of this title, I jumped up, gave it a spin kick straight out the non-windows that are in my basement. Then promptly told my wife to take it back to where she got it.
Overall I give this game:


two oldschool memes because its the only thing that made this game enjoyable.