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Johnny Luchador avatar 10:06 PM on 03.13.2013
Review: Arma III from the Heart of a Luchador

To start, this is all Spencer Hayes' Fault.

He was all like," y0 lucha,when you gonna do another review?" and I was like, "shit son, I've been busy twerkin dem mean streets of East Compton KY, but shit since you're so badly wanting a review, you get one"


This game isn't even finished, but Fuck yeah its radical as hell. I don't even care. You run around all combat, diving to the ground rolling around like it's nobodies business. I've never played Arma Uno, or Arma Twice. I was like shit here's 33 bucks for Arma III because Uncle Sam gave me money for being so extreme dollar bills shot out his ass and I grabbed them like the money machine at Shoe Carnival.


You can drive things


You can shoot things


you can drive on basketball courts


you can ramp over things


You can even Scuba dive and explore the wonderful world of Russian Oceans or maybe it's the Ohio River. Either way, I had fun adventuring in the water shooting fish.


I even MADE FRIENDS


This Silly Bear found me a Helicopter


Things got HAIRY up in the sky


But the adventure didn't end here.


actually, it did.

Anyways, This game is pretty magical. I ramped over cliffs, scuba dived, killed terrorist, listened to people on mic shout bravo alpha 30 clicks, and things like, "fuckin Johnny Luchador is driving the 4 wheelers into the ocean" and other great lines like, "someone kill that Johnny Luchador guy, he just took the chopper full of our squad and flew it head first into a group of enemies"



The graphics are top notch.
The sound is loud, and their's alot of military dramatic music that sounds like a Denzel Washington movie.
The gameplay is complicated because it's so real with a million damn buttons to do different things.

over all
I give this game

11.7 shirtless Men in a mountain area holding a sword and +45 Mana Points for the bitchin Mustache

 
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