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Review: Arma III from the Heart of a Luchador - Destructoid

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About
The most ELECTRIFYING Man in Gaming Entertainment. The Innovator of Random, taking you to the Top of Space Mountain, and crashing down on you for the 1, 2,3. Host of the Rad Show: Get There!

I have worked in the music industry, the radio industry, the engineering industry, and the wrestling industry. I represent Dtoid Western Kentucky Division 404. I like to make video games more entertaining. I also like riding ponies while eating bags of gummy bears. I also assist with various other Programs on the Streams. You can find me weekdays assisting with Mash Tactics or generally throwing randomness.

I plan on entertaining, or at least trying to entertain as much as I can until I forget to post, which happens when you're a busy person who is busy.

So basically I'm gonna try, until I need a day off and forget to post, and then someone is like man that guy was really cool, I think he died or something like the ultimate warrior, cause that's what happens when someone disappears, everyone assumes they're dead...or well at least I do. I swear that I thought Danny Glover died like 3 years ago. But when he sent me a message on twitter after I commented about him dying in a river rafting fruit collecting contest in Utah, I was like, "holy crap, he's not dead."
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To start, this is all Spencer Hayes' Fault.

He was all like," y0 lucha,when you gonna do another review?" and I was like, "shit son, I've been busy twerkin dem mean streets of East Compton KY, but shit since you're so badly wanting a review, you get one"


This game isn't even finished, but Fuck yeah its radical as hell. I don't even care. You run around all combat, diving to the ground rolling around like it's nobodies business. I've never played Arma Uno, or Arma Twice. I was like shit here's 33 bucks for Arma III because Uncle Sam gave me money for being so extreme dollar bills shot out his ass and I grabbed them like the money machine at Shoe Carnival.


You can drive things


You can shoot things


you can drive on basketball courts


you can ramp over things


You can even Scuba dive and explore the wonderful world of Russian Oceans or maybe it's the Ohio River. Either way, I had fun adventuring in the water shooting fish.


I even MADE FRIENDS


This Silly Bear found me a Helicopter


Things got HAIRY up in the sky


But the adventure didn't end here.


actually, it did.

Anyways, This game is pretty magical. I ramped over cliffs, scuba dived, killed terrorist, listened to people on mic shout bravo alpha 30 clicks, and things like, "fuckin Johnny Luchador is driving the 4 wheelers into the ocean" and other great lines like, "someone kill that Johnny Luchador guy, he just took the chopper full of our squad and flew it head first into a group of enemies"



The graphics are top notch.
The sound is loud, and their's alot of military dramatic music that sounds like a Denzel Washington movie.
The gameplay is complicated because it's so real with a million damn buttons to do different things.

over all
I give this game

11.7 shirtless Men in a mountain area holding a sword and +45 Mana Points for the bitchin Mustache
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