The most ELECTRIFYING Man in Gaming Entertainment. The Innovator of Random, taking you to the Top of Space Mountain, and crashing down on you for the 1, 2,3. Host of the Rad Show: Get There!
I have worked in the music industry, the radio industry, the engineering industry, and the wrestling industry. I represent Dtoid Western Kentucky Division 404. I like to make video games more entertaining. I also like riding ponies while eating bags of gummy bears. I also assist with various other Programs on the Streams. You can find me weekdays assisting with Mash Tactics or generally throwing randomness.
I plan on entertaining, or at least trying to entertain as much as I can until I forget to post, which happens when you're a busy person who is busy.
So basically I'm gonna try, until I need a day off and forget to post, and then someone is like man that guy was really cool, I think he died or something like the ultimate warrior, cause that's what happens when someone disappears, everyone assumes they're dead...or well at least I do. I swear that I thought Danny Glover died like 3 years ago. But when he sent me a message on twitter after I commented about him dying in a river rafting fruit collecting contest in Utah, I was like, "holy crap, he's not dead."
Here is a VIDEO PLEAING to ADOPT ME, I hope you guys enjoy it.
Hi, I'm Johnny Luchador, Destructoids resident Luchador and Dtoid.tv's son of Jon Carnage and Rick Fuller.
I'm not going to PAX. Why am I not going to PAX? Hell if I know, but I'm not going. Probably because I'm a grown up who has a wife and responsibilities yada yada old person talk. So I figure that with the good will and fighting spirit you bastards have, someone could adopt my sorry ass at at least take a photo or two of you doing something completely dumb with my picture in tow. After said photo is taken, you can dump me like a cheap hooker. I mean like you can staple my picture to a bathroom stall or just toss it in a dumpster behind a Dennys. My feelings will not be hurt one bit.
Here is an example of something stupid you can do with my picture
With such a factor, you will be presented as Grand Marshall of Rad Show for a cast and uh, I'll repay you by doing something dumb on the show like usual, but in your honor. I'm all about a true Gentlemanly Gesture from one of you the magical people here.
Amuse me. Also if you take my picture to Niero and say Lucha sent you at the Bar he'll buy you a Large Glass of Milk. Who doesn't like milk?
Anywho, That's my plea. If you want to adopt me, you can take this picture along with you on your journey. Try not to get too many autographs because when you walk around with this a bunch of loose women will try to "show you a good time". Don't be pulled in by their snake venom ways, for you don't need to get any sort of sexual disease while you're having fun at PAX.
I have a gigantic like bigger picture of this if you need a bigger picture. Or I can just mail the one I have of this framed in my bathroom that I look vainly at myself when I take a shower.
It's probably a good idea to Adopt me.
I went to San Fransisco the other day. You may be asking, "why did you go to such a place?" Honestly, I have no clue, I just wanted to run around like an idiot, and I accomplished this. For a full catalog of the adventure you'd have to be my facepage friend, but I decided to size down some of this adventure for you guys to see. Lots of Dtoid, lots of hilarity.
So lets begin this journey.
I arrive in Spencer Hayes's Car. It's small, but gets us around. Spencer is a example of video games making people good drivers.... He must have played alot of Twisted Metal
These two Gentleman are rather Comfy riding the scooter together. At least if I need a taxi the number is easy to remember.
In the South these are called Hardee's. California is full of hippy shit.
In my Hotel Room was a dtoid.tv caster Phil and resident awesome chatter/dtoid commenter Skateallday
We found a radiopools as well.
Spencer is Straight out of Compton, or he likes to believe.
We went to go visit our friends over at Twitch.tv Jon Carnage was really happy to see me.
Jamie, Jon's fiance, decided to put him in a drop toe hold.
That night we decided to get Burritos
This Mariachi loved us so much he played us Mexican love songs til we fell asleep on the street in the Mission. Zoeker had a Burrito
This is what San Franciscoites eat for Breakfast...it explains alot.
They are some weird people. I mean just what the hell is this?
I finally found a friend who could understand me
But he made me a fool...he too was a San Franciscoite...cold and evil
I felt defeat...for I was all alone.
I consoled with Nelson Mandela. He was no help, he just stood there like some wax figure.
I looked at myself in the mirror to reflect on my future plans on what i needed to do to get out of this funk.
I asked our President for help..but he was too busy giving the San Fran homeless Cell Phones.....so I went to another group of friends.
After discussing with Slick Willy, and the Bush Twins, we came to agreement, that more Fun needed to be had.
For the Power of Moses was blessed on me for a unholy union of awesome.
He showed us the truth that Steve Erwin was actually killed by Rambo.
Our Tour guide Skateallday managed to sneak us on a Battleship.
Man ye Battlestations, for I just drove this bitch into the Pier.
For some reason I sang Perfect Strangers Theme song the whole time here.
We can do it people, we really can. The lady next to me agree'd.
That night, we went to Spencer, Phil, and Kenny's house to do the Gentlemans/RadShow on Dtoid.tv. this is Marcus, he is their Swaggy Neighbor, he can twerk like no other.
Phil and Spencer love one another very much.
We sang the night away. You should check out that show, it was effin awesome.
We went to Dennys for Conrad/Jim/Holmes/Samit/Brett/Max/AliD/Steven's birthday...they were not there. But Spencer ate pancakes.
I played the Claw Machine with Scottie Pippin. We won all the prizes.
Zoltar told me my future that I would finally meet Niero and Hamza that day. After I met 6'10 Ben Pack.
This is Ben, he stands on top of the Hill looking over SAn Fran. He's tall, something something Rev 3.
I walked into the Niero's neighborhood, I admired his street art that he does when he's not keeping your website alive.
Niero gave us an address...but didnt tell us there was a door around the side. So if you ever go visit Niero, do not, DO NOT OPEN THIS DOOR. IT's broke, it's held by a Rubberband. The lady who lives there doesn't speak english and swings a broom at you. She is not pictured in this adventure. But she has fire in her eyes.
I found this old thing inside.
Then I found this thing. Note: Hamza is just as sexy in person as he is on the internet. Just look at that seduction in his eyes.
Niero and I have the same watch, he has the biggest guns on the planet. 24 inch Hulk Hogan Pythons. Just look at that muscle. I also passed the torch of the old green luchador mask to him. He now can sit in his living room suplexing things.
Niero blurred this picture with his magic. Thanks bud.
When I go places, I go with a Posse so I look like some sort of Rapper. I brought many friends like Jon Carnage
Even Pico Mause showed up.
And Even more friends. Alot more not pictured.
We got Taco's at Nieros local taco mart thing, then we took a train with Niero to parties.
To the BAR!
The Bar wouldnt let me have a mask on/hat on. So after breaking kayfabe, having a drink, we went to the giant donut place to compete for Giant Donut wall of fame. Spencer has won 4 times. Phil has too.
The next day was Lucha/Mrs. Lucha time, no pictures here.
The day after we went to Japantown, and saw Animes.
Spencer was so looking at Anime Porn.
We found Stella Wong in the Japan Town! She was the best.
Anywho, it was a rad trip, I'm tired. And I missed my ol Kentucky Home, but I believe I at least left my mark on San Fran. And I'm glad they accepted me as their Luchador King. Thanks to Phil, Spencer, Zoeker, Skate, Niero, Hamza, Niero's friend Rey Mysterio, Stella, Jon Carnage, Jamie, Pico, and the homeless guy who tried to rob me but only got punked out by me.
So all I've heard this week is, XBOX One, Xbox One, no Games, yadda yadda, It looks like a VCR, omg, I don't like TV, PS4 is better, PS4 gets my money, bitch bitch bitch. So Papa Lucha decided to educate the people with some gifs.
If you bitched, complained, said PC is better, PS4 is Better, Xbox One is better. Guess what.
You're totally falling into the frenzy/hype/disappointment/love/hate. You pull the trigger early and you act as if nothing is staged. This is all staged. Xbox One has been trending on twitter all damn week. It's a brilliant marketing ploy. And you fell for it.
Just remember folks, Any press is good press. The same thing happened with PS4. But instead we get, "but they showed games!". That's great and all, but you've got plenty of great games already, not to mention we've basically already seen these games at other events. So your argument here is best told with this.
I'll end up buying both systems because I'm your typical tech junkie who has to have the newest and coolest gadgets. I'll play my ps4 and be happy. I'll play my xbox one and be happy. I'll continue to play on my PC and be happy. It's not about systems, it's about entertainment and having a good time. Both next gen systems will provide that. Each will have their frills, each will have their frustrations.
I'm just as guilty as the rest of you guys. Society in this day and age is spoiled.
I truly realized this the other day when my father was forced into getting a Smart Phone. He calls me after supposedly walking around my house, looking through windows because he decided not to knock on my front door or ring my doorbell. "Guess no one lives at your house?" he states. I respond, "what the holy hell are you talking about?"
"No Lights on, windows are closed, it's like you live in an abandoned house" - he continues. "Dad, we were in the living room, I watched you walk by, and you looked blankly right at me" I inform him. "Well, I'm out front, I've got this new phone, I have no clue how to use it" he pleas. "yeah, mom told me they made you get rid of the flip phone" I continue. So I go outside to a man looking frazzled pushing the screen of his new phone. I hop in his truck and ask him what he needs to know. Which he responds, "how do I get voicemail?" From there I show him. Then I get the next following questions which I answer.
"Where is my clock?", "where is my calculator", " how to I make the phone vibrate so I'll know someone is calling when I'm on a tractor", "how do I check the weather", " whats text messaging", "why does the battery die so quickly", "the lady at the store said something about gps"
If you look at the beginning questions, they are all simple things that have always been on our phones. He could care less about fancy things, he just wants the things that get him through the day. This is the same man who has Andy Griffith as his ring tone, and has never changed it. The same man who I watched the show with as a kid, and I realized watching it that the world we live in is awful. People were kind, people were content.
So then I decided to show him all the neat things you can do. I showed him how to get on the internet. Now, he gets on my mothers macbook and checks the weather, looks at classic cars, searches for equipment, etc. But showing him he could do this on the phone was mind blowing. He complained about the size of the touch screen keyboard, which I agree'd because I get my big thumbs from him. So I said, "dad, you see that little microphone there? you can press it and say what you want to search for". He responds, "no shit?" I press the button and say, "antique cars". 2 seconds later he has images and content from the web. He was speechless, until he presses the button and says , "Big Titties".
I love my father, and he raised me to be a hard worker, a person with a fire always lit in them, and an entertainer. He also showed me, yet again, that new technology is not bad. It's exciting. So if you're one of those people who are posting concerns and omg's and bitching and complaining about a new product before you've even test drove it, just stop. Sit down, and please, would you SHUT...The Hell...UP.
You're already writing a comment or downvoting. Congrats. I did my job.
Because in the end.
The More you Know.
Wu Tang 5 Ever.
Hi, I'm Johnny Luchador, Host of the Super Fantastic Video Game Rad Show: Get THere!
I've been a caster on Dtoid.tv for like god, since the beginning. I was forged from the Mysterious Jon Carnages' gooch. Never the less, I've been casting for viewers for about 2.5 years bringing you guys the strangest if not craziest things I could come up with every Sunday at 6pm (Gods Time Zone Central) 4pm (Hippy Time Zone PST)
If you've never seen my show, well, sorry because you've missed all sorts of crazy, like psycho ex girlfriend getting a tattoo of the grimace on her inner thigh because you had that one moment in the McDonalds Play Place.
I made it a point to go above and beyond with content every show. I even brought in my best friend Jason so the show could be even awesomer. Anywho, I would love to be your King of the Stream or Winner of the 2013 Streamer Royal Rumble. Honestly I've been reading Dtoid since year 1 and I've never won a contest. So I figured, what the hell, might as well showcase what you beautiful bastards have been missing. So here are some Highlights, over the past 2.5 years and also a full episode of SFVGRS:GET THERE with Jumpin Jason and myself playing Harry Potter on Kinect.
Horse Stacking Championships in Red Dead
We Found Manny Mouse. He needed Friends
So this is what Doors are used for.
This is why you don't let me play Wrestling Games.
This is why you don't let me play any game.
My First act of pure insanity on our very first series: Also Talks. Macbook Pro goes Kaboom with a Pick Axe.
The Very First Rad Show Get There, the start of the Destruction of video games.
We get Festive on Holidays.
Sometimes we don't even play games, we read books.
Two Best Friends, breaking games like normal
So I hope I have enlightened you guys, and I hope you appreciate what I do for dtoid.tv
Thank you beautiful bastards for being a great audience, and I hope to see new faces around dtoid.tv
Did I win the capture device?
Update you shitbirds: MORE VIDEOS!!!
Europe loves George Michaels
We make popcorn for Jamals Kids for Christmas
How to start your Cast
Oregon Trail with LT3
Batman Works at Starbucks
Mama Moses abandons her baby for French Bread
Update Update: Even more Videos you Silly Bastards!
Slenderman and George Michaels, the perfect mix.
Ever see a 11'11 guy play Basketball? Well on rad show you do. JJ Justice makes it to the NBA DRAFT!
Mexico Drift son, learned from Vin Diesel n shit
if you ask me to fill in for you, you might just get this for 2 hours.
I got my hands on a copy of GTA V from my friend of a friend of a friends dad who works at Rockstar.
So as your favorite Luchador, I decided to review it for you guys.
This game follows the mishaps and adventures of three bachelors as they attempt to adapt their lives to pseudo-fatherhood with the arrival of one of the men's love child.
Architect Peter Mitchell (Tom Selleck) Sexy
cartoonist Michael Kellam (Steve Guttenberg)Sexy Sexy
and actor Jack Holden (Ted Danson) Sexy Sexy Sexy
are happy living their lives as bachelors in their lofty New York City apartment. Their lives are disrupted when a baby arrives on their doorstep one day.
the Baby looks like this
A note with the child, Mary, indicates that it is Jack's or Michaels, or maybe Peter's I dont know, the result of an affair with a recent co-star. The baby arrives in Jack's absence – he is in Turkey shooting a B movie, I think it was that one episode of Friends actually, leaving Peter and Michael to fend for themselves in taking care of the child, something in which their lack of experience befuddles them. They meet up with Tyler Perry.
who teaches them a life of crime.
At one point, Peter and Michael are mistakenly led to believe that they are to deliver Mary to two men who arrive at their door asking for "the package". They discover moments before their departure that the men are drug dealers who were actually seeking a package of heroin. They retrieve the infant, leaving the men with a can of powdered milk. Dogs licking babies n shit.
What results is a major change to the men's lives as they try to adjust to surrogate fatherhood—balancing the demands of work and the rearing of a child. Soon their paternal instincts take hold, and they grow attached to the child. Eventually, when Jack returns, Peter and Michael do not hesitate in taking their revenge and passing all responsibility of looking after Mary to Jack, but Jack quickly grows to love his daughter, the Wendys Hot Chick.
The drug dealers, demanding payment, eventually ransack the men's apartment looking for their drugs and by ransack they throw a bitchin party with 2 Pac, Kid n Play, and half of the American Gladiators, excluding Malibu cause he's a bitch. The men formulate a plan to trap the dealers when they negotiate a deal to deliver the illicit goods. With a recording of the conversation, the men prove their innocence to the police and the dealers are arrested.
The three men then fully embrace their new role as Mary's guardians, however one day the baby's mother, an English woman named Sylvia (Nancy Travis), arrives, asking for Mary back intending to take her to England to live with her family. Handing her over, the three quickly find themselves miserable and desperately missing Mary. Deciding to stop Sylvia and Mary from leaving, they rush to the airport to try and persuade Sylvia to stay however they arrive just as her plane leaves. Defeated, the men return to their apartment, where they find both Sylvia and Mary. Jokes on them fuckers, now they have to deal with a bunch of women all being womany. Sylvia explains she doesn't want to give up her career but can't do this if she has to raise Mary alone, so Peter quickly invites her and Mary to move into their apartment with them with Jack and Michael's agreement kicking those shitbirds out on the streets to sling more rocks, and she agrees. And they all eat Spaghetti Baskets (UPDATED for DLC ENDING)