I've decided that for this response I'd like to talk about how hype led me to experiencing one of the worst gaming moments ever (for me at least).


Have you ever had a game come into your knowledge that just by looking at it you should have known it was going to be bad? The hype and marketing clouding your judgement with only promises of good things to come. You'd go to school and continue this disatorous train by talking about it with your friends and then they would get hyped and then get you hyped more. Did you use this hype to try and ignore your more logical kin and their points about things such as simple fact. Then did you through sheer force of denial try to tell yourself that they'll pull it off or that it won't be a child destroying abomination.


Not what I was refering to but I certainly tried to find good in it for purely delusional reasons.


No what I'm talking about is none other than the shame of the force itself.


No not... well okay this too but not right now.



Bingo.

Of course the contex should be given that when this came out I was yet a cynical adult and was still trying to cling on to hope that Star Wars could be saved. I was the guy that tried to find good things in the prequels or ignore all the plot holes in the expanded universe. I was a dreaming who honestly wanted to play a fun game that let you take force powers to the logical extreme. I was wrong and now is the story of the fallout.

Now I could focus on things like the nonsensical story, un interesting characters, bad story, somewhat pointless lightsaber combos, or the poor story. I could but instead I will focus my rage on the one bit of the game that had fueled the hyped delusion of hope. Pulling down the Star Destroyer with the force.



This was probably the most focused on thing in the marketing it was the thing people would pull out whenever they wanted to show why you should be pumped for this game. Then when my own personal frenzy to preform such a feat had reached a cresendo I ended up playing it.

There was only one thing that I could say afterwords to contextualize the sure soul crushing/childhood killing rage I felt at that moment. On the 360 version the button prompts for the sequences at times appear as the opposite of what you are supposed to do!


Nothing but lies.

Not only was this game already suffer from more quick time events than Gugans on Naboo but they had the gall to ship the game when some of them didn't even work?! In fact due to at the time my more stubborn nature instead or stupidity take your pick I just ended up activating an invincibility cheat and discover the truth on accident when I had run out of ideas. This was probably the biggest one 180 of hype to rage turn around I had ever experienced and the programers should be ashamed.

Though luckly it isn't like all of the hype and marketing led to this game selling a crap ton of copies because of the Star Wars fans in denial crowd to get a another game am I right?


I hate all of you.

So it seems the Legend of Zelda Skyward Sword is supposedly delayed till later on in 2011. Now I don't hate delays in fact I'm perfectly fine if it helps the game be its best but I do have one question. Do you think the delay will actually include extra work on the game or will it be another Super Smash Brothers Brawl where the end product comes out and it seems like Nintendo spent the extra time snorting coke of some hooker dressed like Zelda's back for all we know? Just putting it out there so what do you think will happen?

Final Fantasy X-2 a game that has probably pissed me off for the longest period of time out of everything else I have played. So I thought I just rip it a new one as a form of therapy.So first off let me just tell you that this game is the sequal to Final Fantasy X a game that I have seen mixed reaction to. Now the question is did it need a sequeal? No but it did and I hate Square for it.

To start this let us meet our main sluts I mean heroines... no fuck it they are just a bunch of sluts.



First Yuna who was tranformed from the nice White Mage to a somehow more suggestive looking version of Lara Croft. Seriously how did that work?



Next Riku the most inapropriatly dressed Thief ever. Honestly who thought that a bikini top, thong, and short-shorts was a good idea? By the way pervos she's 15. Yes it seems Square has an evil plan to turn every part of the male population into pedophiles.



Finally is the S&M Warrior of the group Paine. She is the only party member that wasn't in the first game. Also she is boring so I can't say much else.

Now on to the story. It seems like a year after Final Fantasy X Riku asks Yuna to join her Charlies Angles ripoff the Gullwings and it seems Tidus might be alive. That is really it for a long time. Sure there are these sphere things that play videos and give you job classes. Plus some really stupid antagonists that I won't even mention.

Then finally you something of note happens. What happens is two religions Yevan and New Yevan and how do our heros prevent it? By having Yuna sing a piece of shit pop song. No really a freaking holy war is stopped by a shitty pop song. Seriously go find the writers of this game and kill them slowly.

Yet finally you learn of the villian of this game I guess.



Why hello Tidus when did you turn evil? Really it is actually supposed to be someone else even though he looks like, fights like, and has the same voice actor as Tidus.

So what is his evil plan to take over the world? Using an evil fucking piano. Yes an evil doomsday causing piano. Honestly Square no giant mech of doom? How bout a super evil demon summon? Mabye just a meteor again? No you idiots give us a godamn evil fucking piano.

So you defeat him, he goes to Other World I guess, and then there is a secret ending where Tidus comes back for now reason at all.

Okay now that I've gone over the story what about the gameplay. Well the combat and job system is very much like many past games. I feel it was a step back from the last game. Mainly in how this game has such a more bland leveling system in comparison. Then there are the god awful minigames. Seriously there is a coin minigame, a dancing minigame, and a minigame where you give another women a massage. These might actually be worse than Blitzball.

So to finish Final Fantasy is a sexist, annoying, boring, and waste of time for any RPG fan. The only reason anyone would play this game is if they were unaware like me or are too stupid to realize that there is something called porn on the internet that can be found for free.

1/10

Yes fanfiction a force that has plauged the world of video games and anime for many years. I thought for todays post I would look at the most common types of fan based drivel to be written and present them to you in a list based format by series. Mind you this will only be the first part for as my research continues I will have even more series to examine in terms of fan based evil.

Our first victim is the blue blur himself Sonic The Hedgehog.



What may you ask is the stereotype of the Sonic fanfiction. Well that would be pairings pulled straight from the deepest pits of the Twilight Zone. Whether being pedophlic in nature or just brain rotting you will most likely find it. That is of course not including all of the self insert characters that somehow become related to one of the series mainstays while at the same time falling in love with another character. Yes if Sonic in the fan written format could have a on sentence description it would be. Anybody will go to bed with anybody.

Next up is the wonderful mash of Disney,Square. and fangirl dreams. Yes it is Kindom Hearts.



The stereotype for Kindom Hearts fanfiction is one thing. Yaoi lots and lots of yaoi. For those that don't know yaoi is essential the fangirls word for gay pairings. Somewhat like the above stereotype but more concentrated and deadly in this form. Also almost every time I left my research on the Kindom Hearts fanfic stereotype I was left with one question. Is pairing Sora and Roxas incest or masturbation?

Third is a series though more grounded in the anime sector of things still has some gaming roots is Digimon.



Once again the stereotype is yaoi. I'm sensing this will become a theme in this series. The only other type I could really use beyond fangirls wet dreams would be continuations of the anime which isn't much anything special.

For the final series mentioned in this part we have the Super Smash Brothers! (cue fans cheering)



For this series there are also 2 stereotypes. The first is having the idea of being in Super Smash Brothers be somethign like a really fucked up version of The Real World but with violence and living gloves. Our second stereotype on the other hand is actually multiple types that can be compressed into one phrase. New Challenger Approaches. Essential wheter it be fake kids of existing Nintendo characters, anime thick heads like Naruto, or self inserts the world of Smash Brothers fanfiction is wrought with the widest what if character roster imaginable.


Well that was my first of hopefully many commentarys on the world of the fanfic writer. Join me next time for Pokemon, Halo, and Legend of Zelda.

First I ask that you watch this video containing the song which this blog is inspired by.



Okay you watched it? No really did you watch it? Seriously if you are just skipping it I won't be responsible for any meteor spells that it your house.

Now that we are done with introductions I assume you are wonder what exactly I'm speaking of. Well the answer to your question is simiple Nintendo and their apparant love of clone characters especially in Super Smash Brothers brawl.



One of the prime examples of this is the Starfox sydrome. Some would say it was a bad enough that Fox had a clone in the form of Falco during Melee but to add a 3rd clone in the next game without really changing the last one. Does Nintendo think we are that stupid. Sure they didn't have much to go on in terms of basic attacks but they could have at least altered the final smash to even a single one of them using the Airwing insted of the Landmaster.



Then there is the Zelda complex. First why is Ganondorf a clone of Captain Falcon? At least most clones are from the same series but this doesn't even make logical sense. I have to ask did they forget that Ganondorf does have the skills of an accomplished swordsmen? Couldn't they have him use the dual blades from Windwaker? On the subject of Windwaker did any effort go into Toon Link? If they wanted to add another Link they could have used some of the different items found in Windwaker. To name a couple you have used the skull hammer, dekuleaf, or both to make Toon Link have an origional and interesting move set.



Okay I actually can't really say much about this guy. They altered his moveset just enough to escape the title of clone. Wish they could have down the same for the others.

Also with the amount of delays the game had you believe they would have looked into this. Actually with the game in general the end product looked like they actually did no extra work when the delayed it but that will be fore another time.

So in closing the Smash Brothers series could really use some work in terms of the characters roster. If one nerd at the computer could think of changes that can be implimented I think the people payed to make the game could take time to do so themselves.

Sonic VS Mario one of gamings bigest dream matches. From contless forum arguements to numerous flash animations many have tried to answer t his question. Yet today I come to you with a more important question they should have asked first. Why would they even want to fight? Now before you give the obvious answer of it's because Nintendo and Sega competed that I will no doubt here let me explain. This question is to why the characters themselves would want to fight.






First let us look at the two contenders. Sonic the Hedgehog is a 15 (or 16-17 it seems to alter in different continuitys) year old blue huminoid hedgehog who lives on Mobius and fights the evil Dr. Ivo "Eggman" Robotnick and his robotic minions. While Mario Mario is an approximately middle-aged plumber, basketball player, soccer player, golfer, tennis player, board game enthusist, kart-racer, and hero of the mushroom kingdom constetly having to save the Princess Peach and stop the evil turtle dragon thing Bowser. So looking at those brief explainations they are both heroes and of two completely different age groups. They really don't seem to have a logical reason to throw down. Even the idea that they would fight over different ways of saving the day (the boyscout vs vigilanty argument). In my personal opinion it makes more sense if they teamed up instead of fought.

Now I know that this short little arguement won't stop you from replay the scenario 100 different ways in 100 different formates. All I wish is to give you a little blog post to mull over when you have the time.


I hope I didn't come off as a total smeghead and thank you for reading my blog.