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Saints' Row: The Third Review

by John Simone   //   9:50 PM on 11.16.2012

Saints' Row has always been thought of as more of a GTA knockoff. And most people have already deemed Saints 3 the same, but I'm here to tell you that Saints' 3 makes GTA look like the knockoff. I've played all of Saints' 3 and it's one of the most inappropriate, most over the top gaming experiences I've ever had the pleasure of playing.

The South Park of Video Games Saints' 3 begins a little while after Saints' 3 ends and now the Third Streets Saints are at the top of their game. With their name on energy drinks and a Saints movie in production the Saints are now pop culture icons. Once I started Saints' Row: The Third I could already tell that I was in for a hilarious story driven thrill ride. The openning sequence has you, Shaundi, Johnny Gatt, and an actor that will star in the up coming Saints' movie robbing a bank and getting caught by the syndicate, a rival gang jealous of your success. Throughout this sequence you are forced to kill swat teams, and syndicate gang members. You also blow a bank vault and shoot down helicopters while on a bank vault that is dangling from a helicopter. The story goes on as one problem after the other appears. Whether it's rival gangs or zombies Saints' Row: The Third always keeps you wondering what ridiculous thing will come up next.

Aw Yeah it's Really that Immature My Experience with this game was fantastic. Personally this was my game of the year for 2011. That doesn't mean this game is for everyone though. If you are an easily offended gamer, then this game probably isn't for you. From streaking naked down the streets of Steelport to beating hookers with a giant purple dildo Saints' 3 is one of the non-kid friendly games out there. Saints' 3 is by far the most immature games out there, and that why I love it, but the most immature thing in this game is the nutshots. The nutshots are like your melee attacks. Shooting people in the crotch gives you a bonus too. Nutshots are thought of as equal opportunity thing in this game. Shooting or hitting women in the crotch are still considered nutshots. Just showing how ridiculous this game is pressing the melee button while running unleashes a wrestling move or some othe crazy move upon the closest living thing.

The game takes place takes place in Steelport. Shaundi described it as,"Bangkok's abusive father." The city is big and isn't short on properties to buy and mini-games to play. Buying buildings in Saints' is simple just go up to property you wanna buy and buy them. Buying properties and playing mini-games raises your hourly city income. Me playing the way that I do I felt like I had an obligation to buy them all. The mini-games in Saints' 3 are fun, well designed pieces of art. They are easy ways to earn cash and respect. All of the mini-games are introduced to you in several story missions throughout the game. My favorite was Professor Genki's Super Ethical Reality Climax. It's an arena based mini-game where you basically wrack up cash by killing enemies with the weapons given to you. Like I said all of the mini games in the game are well designed and a joy to play.

In past Saints' games to advance the story you had to first earn respect, but in Saints' 3 the story is structured. Going into your phone and selecting an available mission, which are all story missions, and selecting them starts your mission. Then you drive, or however you wanna get there, to the starting point of your mission. In Saints' 3 respect works more like a leveling system. When ever you earn enough respect to level up you unlock upgrades that you can buy with cash in your phone. Most upgrades are your typical upgrades like more health or the ability to run for a longer duration. We're Going Streaking Your character in Saints' 3 is completely up to you, if you want to dress up like a mouse and have a zombie voice that is weirdly an option. If you wanna go streaking, which I did, that is seriously an option. I primarily liked to go around as a cowboy with an Australian accent. One of the craziest things about the customization in this game is the sex appeal slider. Which you can probably guess what that does. One of the most entertaining things in the customization is the compliments and taunts. My favorite compliment is the Gidee Up one and my favorite Taunt is the Pet Detective. Whether your a cowboy or a toilet the character customization in this game has something that will spark a laugh for everyone.

Pop Culture References have Never Been this Good Saints' Row: The Third contains many pop culture references from opening the game the same as a star wars movies would to driving a Tron cycle around Saints' 3 is full of them. Even though Saints' 3 has some misses, we true nerds really appreciate the effort. Saints' 3 has many collectibles scattered around Steelport some of which include: photo ops, shortcuts, and blow up dolls. Saints' 3 has one of the most varied set of characters out there. My favorite is a pimp named a Zimos. Zimos is a pimp with an auto tuned voice-box, even though his voice eventually gets on your nerves, his voice will always make me laugh.Whether your talking to Burt Reynolds or a buff naked dude Saints' 3 will never stop surprising you with its wide variety of characters.

Oh, the Sweet, Sweet Gun play From shooting pistols to calling airstrikes Saints' 3 isn't short on weapons. Saints' 3's gunfights go about like your typical third-person gunfight. While they go about like your typical third-person gunfight the controls in Saints' 3 are as tight as ever. Vehicle wise Saints' 3 has trimmed the fat. Where as you could hijack a car by opening the door or you could just jump through the window. The vehicles controls themselves have experienced a major overhaul since the last Saints. The cars drive smoother and control better giving the player a better experience. The flight mechanics could use a little work though the helicopter don't land well and the planes don't feel like they are going that fast.

Conclusion Saints' Row: The Third is an over-the-top experience that is a nice break from all the FPS's and other serious games out there. The has some tries at humor that sometimes fail , but still are good enough to keep you playing. Saints' Row: The Third has trimmed the fat and delivered a hilarious experience and truly magnificent game Saints' Row: The Third gets a 5 out of 5.Photo view gallery
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