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Wii soaring to #1 Console this gen...and Why I'm Readying for a Good Belly Laugh...
JoeyBuckets | 7:12 PM on 06.03.2007 12 comments


I recently read an article where Reggie was readying his "Wii just outsold the 360" speech. I had to bite my lip. I mean, what are we talking about here? A console with a questionable lineup of sequels and party games with an arguably unique control scheme. In the forseeable future there are no new IPs coming to the Wii, and most companies are frantically trying to port over already released software (I'm looking at you Ubisoft).

The reason I'm readying for a good belly laugh is that I believe that the Wii at its low price point will become the console that everyone owns, and get this- NOBODY PLAYS.

I'm not trying out for the fanboy club here, hell I OWN A Wii! But as soon as I picked up my Elite and copy of Crackdown, there was no looking back. I own 1 game for the 360 right now (purchased 4-29-07), and it has seen more play time than the 6 Wii titles I own combined for the last 2 months. Thats not a good sign.

Lets get to the heart of the matter:

1) The Wii has a weak lineup ahead, of which the majority of titles are: sequels (direct or indirect), dumbed down ports, and party games. And if anyone points to anything with Mario in the title or with an unnounced release date I'm removing your testicles with my infant son's plastic spoon.

2) The Wii's Virtual Console lacks features that other consoles already have implemented at a comparable price. Let's see, shall I pay 10 bones for Super Contra (direct ROM dump), or 10 bones for Contra (HD, online play, achievements, etc). I think we know where your money is going. The only way to turn this around is to add features or sign some retro exclusives (not happening).

3) The Wii's titles have virtually no replay value. Think about it... You have Party games, and thats about it. You play the Wii when you have friends over, but rarely by yourself. Why? Because there really is no point otherwise. Zelda was an ok adventure, but once you finished it, did you go back again? No. Why? Because you were done, and there was nothing else fun to do. If you say you need to go back to collect Poe souls, I reserve the right to beat you about the face and neck with your Triforce Trapper-Keeper.

4) Wii Online Service appears to suck. I say appears because nobody has seen it yet in full force. Will we have endless Friend Codes to email out, or just one? Will we have voice or Friend Lists? Good question. As of now, there is no online multiplayer or co-op. As an XBOX player from last gen, I more often than not purchase a title based on whether or not it has an online component in order to justify the purchase. I know that if my buddies are playing it, I'll have a blast on it for months and maybe years to come. As for the Wii, I'm scared shitless to purchase a title for fear that the controls won't work right and it will have no replay value. Unlike most other console games, the Wii doesn't have download content and online multiplayer available to rejuvanate or fix broken titles. WYSIWYG, and I am not impressed. I'm sure it'll come along eventually, but when it does will I even care?

I hope everyone comes away from this without a bad taste, because I'm not "bashing on the Wii". I'm pointing out that even if it surpasses all the other consoles in sales, that doesn't mean anyone is playing it.

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JoeyBuckets | 12:00 AM on 00.00.0000 0 comments



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