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Dtoid Editors discuss important things: Doubling Down on Fetishes
Jim Sterling | 12:36 PM on 03.03.2011 58 comments


Jim S. It's like Japanese dick girls
Jim S. Like, you're into DRAWINGS of WOMEN WITH DICKS and the dicks are BIGGER THAN THE WOMEN
Now, any ONE of those fetishes, fair enough, go for it
But all three? You're a greedy fucker
Other Editor Who Wishes To Remain Nameless. Brad Rice tried to explain it to me one time but I didn't get it
Jim S. I got no problem with pretty much any fetish. If it harms nobody, I don't care
But when you try to double down on them, you're being selfish
Other Editor. same
hahahahahah
What if you're turned on by almost everything
except blood and poop
Jim S. That's fine. But one at a time
Other Editor. because that shit's gross
That's kind of unfair to bondage
Jim S. Like, don't put boots ON a toaster and fuck it while being pissed on.
Other Editor. There's a lot of really fun things that can be done in conjunction with that that you'd miss out on
Jim S. It's too much. You can't enjoy all that shit at once.
Well, I'm talking mostly about the really bizarre stuff
Fuck, I think bondage is almost pedestrian
Other Editor. You're doing it wrong then
Jim S. Well, as a concept in and of itself. I don't doubt you can seriously beef it up
But when I talk about the doubling down, I mean to specifically reference the really out-there shit
Like, I said, the dick-girls with MASSIVE dongs. It's too much to take in (pun not intended)
A drawing of a girl with a penis is enough for one man.
Other Editor. I want to know what those people would do if they actually encountered a dickgirl with an empire state building dick
Like
What would you do with it
Jim S. Exactly!
Other Editor. All my fetishes are at least realistic
Jim S. If I can't reasonably put it inside my spice hole, what can I get off on?
1:20 PM
Other Editor. Hollie has gone silent
Jim S. Like, you can climb up it, I guess. But that's just antics, that's not sexy
Other Editor. It's the same with people who have fetishes of literally being killed
Hollie B. sorry, doing my hair
Other Editor. Actually, the one I really truly don't get
Hollie B. for some reason i still bother with hair and make-up on a night shift
Other Editor. and I'm open to a lot of things
Jim S. There was a dude in Germany. His fantasy was being killed and eaten. And he fucking did it
Other Editor. The one where people get kicked/smacked in the nuts
Jim S. How could he enjoy that?
Other Editor. I can understand on some level how most fetishes, even really weird ones, could at least be enjoyable or erotic
I do not understand how getting beaten in the nuts could be enjoyable in the slightest
That's the dude I was thinking of
Jim S. Certainly. I am thoroughly open minded about that shit
Hollie B. thats a pain thing though
its the pain they get off on
Other Editor. But it's a whole different level of pain
Jim S. But when it stops resembling sex on ANY level, I must admit I get bemused
Other Editor. And getting nutpunched prevents you from getting off
Like spanking? Cool
I'd let a chick spank me if she was into it
If she punched me in the nuts I'd throw her out a window
Jim S. Yeah, the whole BDSM thing is fine n' dandy. But an actual punch in the nuts? That's fighting!
I mean, there are men that do like to get actually beat up a bit, and I can see the appeal there. But not on the nuts, dude. That's like, anti-sex.
Other Editor. If you really want to get into the pain think with your junk, just go for electro or something
something that DOESN'T involve having your testicles smashed
I'm glad we're on the same page
Jim S. Who knows though? Maybe they're wired different, physically, so it actually doesn't hurt the same way.
Or maybe we just haven't given it enough of a chance. I'll bring a hammer to E3 and we can find out!
Other Editor. I don't think so
haha
Jim S. FRIGID!



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54 comments | showing # 1 to 50
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next 50 comments

Tegenworst's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/03/2011 12:41
Tegenworst
Uhhm Jim are you waiting for comments?
Occams electric toothbrush's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/03/2011 12:42
Occams electric toothbrush
Personally, I find the practice of sounding to be both exhilarating and enlightening.
Jamie McGinn's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/03/2011 12:43
Jamie McGinn
If a girl had a dick that was bigger than her, she'd just black out due to blood loss if she ever got an erection. At least her fall would be cushioned by her massive lady wang
Chris Carter's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/03/2011 12:43
Chris Carter
"I do not understand how getting beaten in the nuts could be enjoyable in the slightest" reminded me of:

"My love is like thunder and lightning
After it's over
I'm looking like I got my a** kicked by Tyson"

Love that song.

"Like, don't put boots ON a toaster and fuck it while being pissed on."

And God said, this shall be known, as a "Sterling Shower".
Jonathan Ross's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/03/2011 12:48
Jonathan Ross
@Scot

But what if she fell backwards?
Hollie Bennett's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/03/2011 13:19
Hollie Bennett
Dragging me down with you boys, dragging me down!
RenegadePanda's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/03/2011 13:21
RenegadePanda
I support futa related conversation.
mix's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/03/2011 13:23
mix
Cock punching makes my man parts hide inside me, I don't see how some people could get off on that. Blowing a load of blood has no positive side to it in my mind.

@Jonathan Ross
I imagine it would invole a crater of sorts.
MrMacphisto's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/03/2011 13:31
MrMacphisto
Did you guys found my porn stash?



...again?
VGFreak1225's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/03/2011 13:33
VGFreak1225
Technically this isn't on the front page so I don't know if it qualifies...screw it.

JOURNALISM!
Elsa's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/03/2011 13:34
Elsa
WTF??? Some things really should just stay as private conversations.

If anyone else wrote this and put it into the c-blogs I'd call it a pile of garbage that doesn't belong here... so yeah, this is a crappy blog that has no redeeming values and doesn't belong here.

I hope it's a failblog in the recaps.
Elsa's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/03/2011 13:36
Elsa
... oh, and at least have the courtesy to label this NVGR (not video game related).
Jim Sterling's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/03/2011 13:44
Jim Sterling
Elsa:

I do not agree with you.

(but I did change the tag).
Mr Andy Dixon's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/03/2011 13:49
Mr Andy Dixon
"If anyone else wrote this and put it into the c-blogs I'd call it a pile of garbage that doesn't belong here."

Elsa's right: this should be on the front page.
Nic128's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/03/2011 13:57
Nic128
I get it. Also cocks.
Fission Mailed's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/03/2011 13:59
Fission Mailed
Frontpage this nao!

Also, futa YES
Jordan Devore's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/03/2011 14:09
Jordan Devore
I like how the nameless person could be any one of us.
smurfee mcgee's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/03/2011 14:11
smurfee mcgee
Topsauce.
floatato's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/03/2011 14:15
floatato
My monies on it being Samit.
rexwolf2's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/03/2011 14:20
rexwolf2
Jim, have you heard of this fruit-crushing-with-thighs fetish? It was featured on some internet show, and it's not sexy, it's fucking TERRIFYING.
Fission Mailed's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/03/2011 14:29
Fission Mailed
My guess is that at least one of them is Nick, and probably Samit is in there as well.

Bets anyone?
Master Snake's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/03/2011 14:44
Master Snake
I hope the nameless person is Holmes. He like weird things, at least when it comes to video games, so I'm thinking the same could be said of 'love-making'.
Chris Carter's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/03/2011 14:58
Chris Carter
I think it's Nick! Nick and Jim have little back and forths like that all the time.

REVEAL YOURSELF!
Sean Daisy's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/03/2011 15:07
Sean Daisy
@The Young Scot

Well, she would probably need to be filled with more blood at the time of the erection, which would require some particularly advanced medical apparatus that would only exacerbate the fetishistic nature.

I guess...
brainderailment's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/03/2011 15:17
brainderailment
I hypothesize that the guys who like dick kicking and punching are old dudes who want any kind of contact with hot youngins and the only way those youngins will agree to give them contact is by penile destruction over clothes. I've only seen one video of a guy getting the FUCKK kicked out of his dick, the girls were clothed, he was old and naked.
Ramminchuck's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/03/2011 15:21
Ramminchuck
I like you, you talk about important issues!
tuoman's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/03/2011 15:26
tuoman


Just going to leave this here..
dgschrei's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/03/2011 15:32
dgschrei
If this would have happened back in the Podtoid days...
All those beautiful drawings and maybe even videogames that it would have spawned :) Good Times! Good Times!
Seriously though, this just Made my gloomy day a lot happier. Thank you for that
CelicaCrazed's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/03/2011 15:33
CelicaCrazed
I'd like to think that Other Editor is the rest of the Dtoid team answering as a committee.
KwikPwn's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/03/2011 16:17
KwikPwn
Yeah, I heard about that dude that wanted to be killed and eat his own dick. Crazy shit but whatever, if you'd like to bleed out while feasting on your cock who am I to tell you that you can't?
EdgyDude's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/03/2011 16:56
EdgyDude
"Jim S. It's too much. You can't enjoy all that shit at once. "

Oh yeah?

RichardBlaine's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/03/2011 17:08
RichardBlaine
Conversations like that are the best.
LawofThermalDynamics's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/03/2011 17:15
LawofThermalDynamics
I guess there's a fine line between eroticism and suicidal. Oh by the way, this is front page material. I love Destructoid.
Gaming in Public's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/03/2011 17:24
Gaming in Public
@Elsa-I have to agree with Elsa a little to much information for me.

@Jordan Devore- I think the other nameless person is right before us probably left a comment to seem innocent.
Epic-Kx's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/03/2011 18:00
Epic-Kx
Listeneed to Melancholy Hill while I read this. Perfect.jpg.
BS3 Owner's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/03/2011 18:02
BS3 Owner
I'm going w/ Max Scoville for $600.
confusionbomb's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/03/2011 18:08
confusionbomb
I always thought fetishes were like Ice cream sundae toppings; who doesn't like a little nuts and a cherry?
MrSadistic's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/03/2011 18:32
MrSadistic
Dear Mr. Sterling,

I would not mind if my penis accidentally anally penetrated you.

Love,
Me
Daxelman's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/03/2011 20:37
Daxelman
I'm almost sure we've hard worse than this from vets back in the day.
njsykora's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/03/2011 21:16
njsykora
Yeah, this is really no different from the IRC conversations that used to posted whenever something solid gold happened in there. Not like there's a pile of 24ct Cblogs today anyway.
Mr No's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/03/2011 21:53
Mr No
Heh.

What?
manasteel88's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/03/2011 22:44
manasteel88
I'm gonna aim high with my guess.


chad concelmo.
naia-the-gamer's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/04/2011 02:27
naia-the-gamer
I REALLY want to know who the other editor was in that conversation. I could picture at least three of them having that conversation. Also JOURNALISM.

@manasteel88- not enough smiley faces in the dialogue for it to be Chad.
TewDee's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/04/2011 03:27
TewDee
"Jim S. Like, don't put boots ON a toaster and fuck it while being pissed on."

I near pissed myself when I got to this.
fetusmilk's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/04/2011 07:07
fetusmilk
what i dont get is the FAKE monsters of cock. ya know, where the cock is so big for some reason you never see the person its attached to. and they blow loads like a milk fire hose.
SunRa73's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/04/2011 08:09
SunRa73
All of this pales in comparison to Pain Olympics. Seriously, do not Google that.
knutaf's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/04/2011 08:49
knutaf
Strictly speaking, I'd call this failblog material, but our editors do much for us, and they're like celebrities, so when they come to the cblogs, it's fitting to welcome them with open arms. And I fapped, too, because it was amusing, as Jim usually is.
Faux Furry's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/04/2011 11:42
Faux Furry
That is the kind of mature dialogue that will bring videogames forward as a medium. The next step is to put that kind of banter in a game along with the subject matter of the conversation. If you did, you'd have a boner-fide hit on your hands...by the standard of AO rated games, anyhow.

Maybe in the big climactic scene, the player character (designed to encompass a wide range of fetishes, of course) could scale Mount Futanari, do battle with a Man Meat Monster attacking its weak point (I'm sure you know what that is)with a hammer,spanking it into submission then perform a 'finishing move' on it before eating it..which oddly counts as a victory condition for the monster since that happens to be its fetish? RPGs can have finishing moves, can't they?

Why let the Japanese indie game makers have all of that fun when you can show them how it's done?

Also,it's an excuse to make this blog entry have more to do with games.
LReiviN's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/06/2011 03:39
LReiviN
this needs a serious frot page
LeetheGirl's Avatar - Comment posted on 03/06/2011 23:32
LeetheGirl
Is there honestly a reason this dude keeps talking about things he pulls his dick on for?

Because, judging by what I've seen so far, everything that works is probably too numerous to list on this site.
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