Destructoid reviews editor, responsible for running and maintaining the cutting edge videogame critique that people ignore because all they want to see are the scores at the end. Also a regular features contributor and news commentator, as well as the host of Podtoid, Destructoid's psychologically distressing podcast.
Check out more of your ol' pal Jim on the weekly Escapist show Jimquisition, as well as a range of semi-regular articles including Art Juice, Blatantly Better, and at least two other things!
Jim S. It's like Japanese dick girls
Jim S. Like, you're into DRAWINGS of WOMEN WITH DICKS and the dicks are BIGGER THAN THE WOMEN
Now, any ONE of those fetishes, fair enough, go for it
But all three? You're a greedy fucker
Other Editor Who Wishes To Remain Nameless. Brad Rice tried to explain it to me one time but I didn't get it
Jim S. I got no problem with pretty much any fetish. If it harms nobody, I don't care
But when you try to double down on them, you're being selfish
Other Editor. same
What if you're turned on by almost everything
except blood and poop
Jim S. That's fine. But one at a time
Other Editor. because that shit's gross
That's kind of unfair to bondage
Jim S. Like, don't put boots ON a toaster and fuck it while being pissed on.
Other Editor. There's a lot of really fun things that can be done in conjunction with that that you'd miss out on
Jim S. It's too much. You can't enjoy all that shit at once.
Well, I'm talking mostly about the really bizarre stuff
Fuck, I think bondage is almost pedestrian
Other Editor. You're doing it wrong then
Jim S. Well, as a concept in and of itself. I don't doubt you can seriously beef it up
But when I talk about the doubling down, I mean to specifically reference the really out-there shit
Like, I said, the dick-girls with MASSIVE dongs. It's too much to take in (pun not intended)
A drawing of a girl with a penis is enough for one man.
Other Editor. I want to know what those people would do if they actually encountered a dickgirl with an empire state building dick
What would you do with it
Jim S. Exactly!
Other Editor. All my fetishes are at least realistic
Jim S. If I can't reasonably put it inside my spice hole, what can I get off on?
Other Editor. Hollie has gone silent
Jim S. Like, you can climb up it, I guess. But that's just antics, that's not sexy
Other Editor. It's the same with people who have fetishes of literally being killed
Hollie B. sorry, doing my hair
Other Editor. Actually, the one I really truly don't get
Hollie B. for some reason i still bother with hair and make-up on a night shift
Other Editor. and I'm open to a lot of things
Jim S. There was a dude in Germany. His fantasy was being killed and eaten. And he fucking did it
Other Editor. The one where people get kicked/smacked in the nuts
Jim S. How could he enjoy that?
Other Editor. I can understand on some level how most fetishes, even really weird ones, could at least be enjoyable or erotic
I do not understand how getting beaten in the nuts could be enjoyable in the slightest
That's the dude I was thinking of
Jim S. Certainly. I am thoroughly open minded about that shit
Hollie B. thats a pain thing though
its the pain they get off on
Other Editor. But it's a whole different level of pain
Jim S. But when it stops resembling sex on ANY level, I must admit I get bemused
Other Editor. And getting nutpunched prevents you from getting off
Like spanking? Cool
I'd let a chick spank me if she was into it
If she punched me in the nuts I'd throw her out a window
Jim S. Yeah, the whole BDSM thing is fine n' dandy. But an actual punch in the nuts? That's fighting!
I mean, there are men that do like to get actually beat up a bit, and I can see the appeal there. But not on the nuts, dude. That's like, anti-sex.
Other Editor. If you really want to get into the pain think with your junk, just go for electro or something
something that DOESN'T involve having your testicles smashed
I'm glad we're on the same page
Jim S. Who knows though? Maybe they're wired different, physically, so it actually doesn't hurt the same way.
Or maybe we just haven't given it enough of a chance. I'll bring a hammer to E3 and we can find out!
Other Editor. I don't think so
Jim S. FRIGID!