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A persuasive argument for Dynasty Warriors
Jim Sterling | 9:18 PM on 01.26.2008 46 comments


This is Lord Snooty:



Lord Snooty enjoys his videogames (shut up and go with this tenuous metaphor) but one series of videogames he does not like is Dynasty Warriors. The biggest criticism Lord Snooty has of Dynasty Warriors is that you just mash buttons in it and the enemy AI is poor.

Isn't that right Lord Snooty, you little cunt?


"You damn fucking right it is, you shitfucker!"

Oh I see. Care to tell everyone what games you DO like then, you son of a bitch?


"Um, well I like clitting SHMUPS I do, for beanflicking's sake!"

Oh wait, Shmups, one of the most beloved genres in the gaming community? The game where you mash a button to shoot enemies with ZERO AI!?!?!?!?!?!?!!?


"Oh pissbiscuits, your logic is fucking unbreakable and your ability to point out such shagging irony has now elevated you to the status of genius demi-God. Furthermore, Dynasty Warriors has now become my favorite series of games and I suggest that nobody try debating this awesome logic because it's pretty bloody rock cocking solid. Jim Sterling, you've done it again you handsome prince!"

Should I point out how DW also carries on the bold tradition of Golden Axe and as such, should be venerated and that I should be Paypal'd lots of money for pointing it out?


"Don't push your cunting luck."

Point taken.

[Disclaimer that I shouldn't have to make but will need to make: I like SHMUPS, and also, this is not a cereal post, as if the use of a frigging Beano character to make the convoluted (if rather sound) point wasn't enough of a bastard clue.]



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41 comments | showing # 1 to 41
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Bob Muir's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/26/2008 21:39
Bob Muir
I still reserve the right to blindly hate it for no reason other than to infuriate you.
Shin Oni's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/26/2008 21:40
Shin Oni
you know if you look at it, all games are button mashers. but we're not supposed to break it down that far.

shumps and DW have "button mashing", DoA and MK III have Dial a combo.
Jim Sterling's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/26/2008 21:41
Jim Sterling
YOU HAVE INDUCED RAGE FROM WITHIN ME NECROS!
Brian Szabelski's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/26/2008 21:41
Brian Szabelski
My name is NihonTiger, and I support this message.
MechaMonkey's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/26/2008 21:41
MechaMonkey
ZOMG, LU BU!!!

BahamutZero's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/26/2008 21:42
BahamutZero
yeah, but shoot em ups are fun.


/runs away
Jim Sterling's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/26/2008 21:42
Jim Sterling
btw, Mecha Monkey makes me laugh every time he does that.
Sharpless's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/26/2008 21:43
Sharpless
I thought about tuning out once you spelled "video games" "videogames," but I'm glad I stuck with it. One of the most lulz-worthy posts evar.
MechaMonkey's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/26/2008 21:45
MechaMonkey
Happy to oblige, Mr. Sterling. It's all for you, baby.
FrozenSpaceMonkey's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/26/2008 21:46
FrozenSpaceMonkey
SHMUPS are fun...but Dynasty Warriors still sucks.

I hate that game so hard. Why must you keep reminding us Jim?!
Jim Sterling's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/26/2008 21:46
Jim Sterling
Videogames is one word. That comes from mah editor-in-chief and I will defend it to the death. THE DEATH SIR!
Shin Oni's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/26/2008 21:47
Shin Oni
"I HAVE DEFEATED AN OFFICER.....FOR JUSTICE!"

cause it needs a change up.
Sharpless's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/26/2008 21:48
Sharpless
BUT IT LOOKS SO GODDAMN STUPID! I will suckle Niero's teat from now until doomsday, but I will forever heap heaping helpings of scorn upon him for enforcing "videogames." It... I... ARGH.

Serious business. Serious business...
Brian Szabelski's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/26/2008 21:53
Brian Szabelski
how about adding a hyphen? video-games?
aborto thefetus's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/26/2008 21:54
aborto thefetus
What the fuck are shmups?
BahamutZero's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/26/2008 21:54
BahamutZero
I think we should start calling them "awesome discs" to avoid confusion
Jim Sterling's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/26/2008 21:55
Jim Sterling
Sharpless: My EIC is Nick Chester, and I agree with him. Videogames should be one word and fuck Firefox's spellchecker I am gonna make it RECOGNIZE the correct spelling!
aborto thefetus's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/26/2008 21:56
aborto thefetus
FUCK YOU SHARPLESS IT'S ONE WORD! YOU WANT TO FIGHT ABOUT IT! I'LL TAKE YOU DOWN!
Bob Muir's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/26/2008 22:07
Bob Muir
I also support Sharpless's crusade against a single word representation of our hobby. It's far too awesome for that.
BahamutZero's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/26/2008 22:08
BahamutZero
AWESOME DISCS
Bob Muir's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/26/2008 22:08
Bob Muir
Pic from BronxBomber21:

Gangles's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/26/2008 22:09
Gangles
I was actually hoping you'd explain in this post why exactly it is that you love the Dynasty Warrios series so much. If you've done a post like this in the past, someone please link me to it (that I may be enlightened)
Jim Sterling's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/26/2008 22:13
Jim Sterling
Gangles: Stay tuned. A review of DW6 is coming in the next few weeks and since I am pretty sure I will like it, I will, by very definition, be explaining why.
Silverback 55's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/26/2008 22:20
Silverback 55
I tried Jim, I really tried, but I just couldn't get into it.
tazarthayoot's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/26/2008 22:41
tazarthayoot
I prefer to call game discs shaft warmers.

FIGURE THAT ONE OUT!
EternalDeathSlayer's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/26/2008 22:52
EternalDeathSlayer
Jim does DW6 have online co-op? I'm not a huge fan like yourself, but my friends and I used to play one of them split screen on the PS2 a while back. Lots of fun, so online co-op would be a dream come true for us.
Urashima's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/26/2008 23:00
Urashima
Dynasty Warriors has always been a series that hasn't been given it's due. I've loved the series since DW 2, including, naturally, Samurai Warriors and Dynasty Tactics (they need to make another Tactics game, damn it). I really hate seeing the series get it's name dragged in the mud when it's used as a comparison to games like Kingdom Under Fire: Circle of Doom, Nintey Nine Nights, and such that try to emulate the Dynasty Warriors formula and suck horribly at it.

Oh well, hopefully Dynasty Warriors 6 will live up to fans expectations and give the series a bit more respect from nay sayers.

Also LU BU.
Brian Szabelski's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/26/2008 23:06
Brian Szabelski
Jim, have you touched Samurai Warriors: Katana yet?
Y0j1mb0's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/26/2008 23:09
Y0j1mb0
I'm gonna have to do this again Jim:

[img]http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2055/2211520386_17bea881fd_o.jpg[/imh]
Samit Sarkar's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/26/2008 23:36
Samit Sarkar
Necros, you are officially my hero.

Jim, I’m not a huge fan of the Dynasty Warriors series, but a few of friends are really into the games, and I even bought Samurai Warriors a few years ago because I got it for under $25. I doubt I’ll be spending $60 on DW6, but if I can get it for significantly cheaper a few months from now, then I might check it out.

Also, for an actual argument for Dynasty Warriors, see my friend’s first c-blog entry.
Sharpless's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/26/2008 23:40
Sharpless
Oh, Nick Chester? My bad.

WE WILL DESTROY YOU YOU RAPERS OF THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE
Spartacus's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/26/2008 23:49
Spartacus
Eh, Dynasty Warriors is okay. But man, those popsicles...popsicles are delicious.
vexed alex's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/27/2008 00:48
vexed alex
Epic Jim post is Epic. Again.
Tragic Hero's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/27/2008 03:15
Tragic Hero
Don't worry about anyone else.. DW is friggin awesome. Granted I needed to take a break for 2 years in order to be read for more awesome button mashing but still..

Zhou Yun is awesome?
marko72's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/27/2008 03:23
marko72
Upon completing the Musou Mode for the final character I unlocked, I think it's safe to say that Zuo Ci is a super baller.

Pick your poison... who do you take... Lu Bu, or Zuo Ci? Cause right now, I'm completely torn.
Dan CiTi's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/27/2008 03:27
Dan CiTi
This post made no sense to me. Then again it's 4 in the AM over here in NY.
Justice's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/27/2008 05:35
Justice
Da graffiks r lukin alott betta n da nu gaym on peeessfree doe.
ScottyG's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/27/2008 10:31
ScottyG
I've always wanted to try Dynasty Warriors. It looks like it has a simple fun quality to it, which I can always dig.

I did get Ninety Nine Nights recently, which I heard is pretty similar. How does that compare to the DW games?
Jim Sterling's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/27/2008 10:46
Jim Sterling
I seriously disliked Ninety Nine Nights. It was okay at first, but it's cheap and slow and dull in comparison to the action of DW. Most games that try and rip the formula off totally fail. Drakengard was horrible, Devil Kings sucked and Spartan: Total Warrior was a farce.
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