It's Tyra Tuesday everybody! I'm not even sure wtf a Tyra Banks is, but I do know it's TYRA TUESDAY and that means that anybody who doesn't celebrate Tyra Banks gets BANNED! You surely read Kotaku's very informative "how not to get banned you dribbling retards" post today. Well, imagine if that post was actually about Tyra Banks, and you get how IMPORTANT this is!
It's Tyra Tuesday. Here's a video where she talks about pissing. read more
For one of Destructoid's own to become so popular in the spiritual home of videogames is quite an achievement. Ladies and gentlemen, please join me in congratulating the man who has become a true Japanese icon! read more
It's become a kind of running joke that when I post something that contains an opinion, the post will be descended upon by trolls that haven't even bothered to find avatars, indicating that their sole purpose on Dtoid is to lurk and give me pageviews as and when required.
Well, the joke has worn thin. Sure, it's funny when you don't have to look at your comments page, but when you scroll down and see this .... THIS;
You lose the will to live.
You have all become this entity to me. A mindless sea of default avatars. It's like reading the opinions of an ant colony. GET AVATARS YOU FUCKPUPPETS! read more
For the better part of a year, the question "How is Jim's move to the States coming along?" has been asked, only to be met with the same answer: "Oh it's happening." Well, today we have DEVELOPMENTS. So developed are these developments, in fact, that I can exclusively reveal the big answer.
Jim Sterling is confirmed to launch, with The Americas, on November 23.
Yes, just in time for the Holidays, Jim Sterling will be available to eager gamers across the US. Utilizing the unique forms of the Wii Interface, we can be sure that Jim Sterling is to be a mainstay in the homes of families across the US. Reggie really loves that throttle.
So there we are then. I'm leaving the homeland and finally get to be cool, because now *I* get to have a black President as well! Go me!
Love and cunts,
Jim.
P.S, I'll be stuck in JFK Airport for about six hours on the travel date, if any Dtoid New Yorkers fancy coming to the shitty airport to hang out with a very tired Jimmles. <3 read more
So, I picked up Gears of War 2 and Fallout 3 today, preparing for an epic day of dystopian gaming while I recover from a bladder infection. That shit makes it feel like you're pissing hot hammers, yo! That was pretty exciting, but videogames are even more exciting.
So, spent a couple of hours in the company of Marcus Fenix and his racially diverse steroid abusers. I declare it to be just like the first Gears of War. However, that is not an insult, because the first Gears of War was pretty awesome, and this is basically more awesome.
Going back to Gears 2 is basically like meeting an old friend. It feels good to just get behind cover and start popping heads. I'm liking the new variety in the scenery and some of the large-scale setpieces going on. The new Ticker enemies are annoying as fuck. The second I saw them, I knew they'd piss me off, since they conform to one of the primary videogame conventions -- if they're small, they're annoying.
The story so far is still corny and laughable, but I don't play Gears for story. I like how everything is re-introduced though, the whole thing is set out just like a movie sequel. Shit's pretty good.
Right, I'm going to go boot up some Fallout 3 and then play some more Gears. I'll probably be hanging around for Friday Night Fights tonight, too. Also, be sure to keep an eye on Destructoid, as Nicholson and myself will be double-teaming Gears 2 for review. With our giant erect cocks. read more
Things are happening. Tomorrow night sees the return of Video Games Live to the British Isles as Tallarico n' pals do their thing at the South Bank. Wardrox and I will be there and you can come and tell us how shit we are. If you are attending, let us know and we can surely "hang out" and "shit."
Two thirds of The Podcastle "Massiv" are also going to be at The London Expo. If you're around, keep an eye out and make sure to say O HAI. Just look for the Koei sign -- I'll probably be there.
As you can see, the British arm of Team Destructoid is ready to hit Japan with all the fury of a caged rapist. Decked out in the classiest gear, he will be joining Nick Chester and Dale North to bring you the hottest fap material from the show floor.
And what's that I see? Is there some shameless promotion going on here?
RECOGNIZE, TOKYO!
That's it from me, folks! See you in Japan! read more
Stay tuned to Destructoid at 5pm tonight, where I will have a fun announcement for you all. It involves Destructoid, another Web site, and my own deep, personal, painful humiliation. It will be something that only YOU guys can help make happen, so I'm going to want your fullest support as well.
It was Saturday night, a new and atrocious phone system had been installed that puts a painfully shrill and loud ring directly in your ear (because they haven't bothered to set them up properly) and the night was, as usual, shit. I am a full-time writer and soon to be moving. I am not supposed to put up with this.
So I am not putting up with this.
I now have enough money coming in from my regular writing and freelance contracts to successfully leave the cab firm and do nothing but my real job until I move for the United States. I shall be leaving London and spending my remaining weeks here in the company of some family members so my final moments in England are with nice people in a nice area.
I have left my weeks' notice (starting from Friday) on my boss' desk, so tonight is going to be my final night. From here on out I will no longer be a mere phone monkey. My primary -- nay, my sole occupation will be writing. This means, of course, that I will finally have time to do more reviews and original feature content for Destructoid. This is bad news for Sterling Haters, but awesome news for CONFIRMED Sterlimaniacs like Jeff Gerstmann and Brian Crecente.
Destructoid is an independently-run publication forged by our love of video games and the gaming industry's need of accountable enthusiast press Living the dream since March 16, 2006