I've been commenting on the front page and lurking everywhere else for years now, but this is my first cblog. Let's jump right in, shall we?
1] My butt is an integral part of me, but isn't really that remarkable. I guess I can't think of anything else to say about it, so the other nine things will just be about the rest of me I guess. Sorry butt fans.
2] Jibberwocky is an old name I don't use anymore. I used it first when setting up a yahoo email account. It was the first thing without numbers in it after around 60 attempts that wasn't taken already. All my current accounts apart from this one are under Ahr Ech, which is just an awkwardly phoneticized version of my initials, R.H.
3] I'm 26 years old and have yet to be regularly employed. This is a triumph, because it means I do well enough with freelance illustration to avoid burger flipping purgatory.
4] I like painting robots.
5] One time I broke a rib and didn't know about it until a year later when I noticed a lump where it healed weird. Another time I broke my ankle like an idiot because I landed wrong while jumping on an old mattress atop a pile of garbage.
6] I'm making a game. It's called Reliquary. http://www.indiedb.com/games/reliquary It's a procedurally generated rpg shooter in space with roguelike and survival elements. That's a lot of buzzwords.
7] One time I was at a party and a pretty girl was talking to me for a long time. I wasn't paying attention because I had an appointment to keep in Animal Crossing. After finishing my visit with a gorilla I started paying attention again just as she was ending a sentence.
"...so anyway, lets get out of here in a minute and I'll show you the Dirty Uncle."
My interest was suddenly piqued. Was this a proposition for some really weird sex? She took my hand and pulled me into the back of a car. It was quiet a moment, but before I could say anything two more guys got in the front. The guy in the driver's seat looked over his shoulder at me with a crooked smile, and asked if I was ready for a Dirty Uncle. Starting to worry a bit I asked what that was, exactly. "Oh fuck man, you'll see," he said. Then he laughed and I could smell stale beer and cigarettes on his breath.
The music was too loud for conversation as we drove, so I spent my time thinking up an escape plan in case the Dirty Uncle had anything to do with putting a dick in my mouth. After about ten minutes we pulled up next to a roach coach in a parking lot behind a liquor store. Everyone got out and I figured it was my chance to run for it. I said I'd be right back and started jogging towards the front of store, intending to just keep going down the street once I reached it.
"Alright," the pretty girl called after me. "What do you want on yours?" I turned around. "My what?"† "Your burrito," she said. "I like to get avocado and salsa on my Dirty Uncle." I just stood there for a bit, dumbfounded. I was running away from a mother fucking burrito. I said "avocado and salsa sounds good" before going to buy a pack of gum to cover up my attempted escape. That roach coach made the best burrito I ever had. Always say yes to a Dirty Uncle, even if it means putting down Animal Crossing.
8] I'm left handed.
9] I love Phil and Spencer. If you do too, or you just like quality content on Twitch, you should support their future endeavors through Patreon. www.patreon.com/philandspencer