Some of these games are way more than a year old, but I just got around to playing them because I signed up for GameFly in March, or they were re-released on XBLA/PSN. Hope you enjoy!
No More Heroes - 7/10
The open world sucked
The dialogue was cheesy
But the game still ruled
The Orange Box - 10/10
Four best games ever
TF2 can fuck off though
Sorry, BlindsideDork
Psychonauts - 10/10
Late to the party
But glad I finally came
Thank you, Tim Schafer
Burnout Paradise - 8/10
This was a surprise
A racing game that was good
No auto-retry!?
Fable - 6/10
I was late once more
But this party kinda sucked
Sequel is good though
Myst DS - 2/10
I can't click on shit
Oh, here's yet another bug
Yawned myself to death
Metroid Prime 3: Corruption - 7/10
Wow, a good Wii game
My arm is getting tired
Eat shit, Wii remote
Final Fantasy Crystal Chronicles: Ring of Fates - 3/10
Everytime you're bored
Take a shot of Maker's Mark
Your liver will die
Ace Attorney: Apollo Justice - 6/10
Great presentation
But is it even a game?
I say 'objection'
Tom Clancy's Rainbow Six Vegas 2 - 6/10
A test of patience
How many times can you die?
Lots, apparently
Bully: Scholarship Edition - 7/10
Didn't finish it
Rockstar should just make movies
That's what their games are
Frontlines: Fuel of War - 6/10
As far as story
How generic can you get?
Game play was decent
Okami - 8/10
Defines adventure
Under appreciated
Wolf-god wants some love
Eternal Darkness: Sanity's Requiem - 6/10
Look who's late again
Horror games are not my thing
Is my TV fucked?
Uncharted: Drake's Fortune - 8/10
Nate is a huge dick
But his game is amazing
Sullys my hero
LEGO Star Wars: The Complete Saga - 5/10
My first LEGO game
It will also be my last
People play this crap?
Dark Sector - 6/10
It's Gears minus fun
Made me want to watch Krull though
So plus one for that
New Super Mario Bros. - 8/10
It's an old classic
Now with added bonuses
Nothing not to like
Zack & Wiki: Quest for Barbaros' Treasure - 6/10
Oh boy here we go
I know this game is adored
But I fell asleep
Luigi's Mansion - 7/10
A haunted mansion
That just needs to be vacuumed
It makes perfect sense
The World Ends With You - 9/10
A pleasant surprise
Unique game play and story
More like this please, Square
Beyond Good and Evil - 8/10
You must have patience
Smart and brilliant narrative
Marred by poor controls
Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time - 6/10
Platforming was meh
Why even have enemies?
The fighting was bad
SoulCalibur IV - 7/10
Slow and cumbersome
Par for the course with 3D
I suck at fighters
Disgaea 3: Absence of Justice - 6/10
Don't have the patience
To sit through this crap again
Tacticals are slow
Boom Blox - 7/10
Podtoid summed it up
It's action Jenga with bombs
Uses Wiimote well
Mario Kart Wii - 8/10
Looks great and plays great
Classic controller is best
But fuck those blue shells!
Trauma Center: Under the Knife 2 - 8/10
Can be frustrating
Intense and satisfying
Controls help immerse
ICO - 10/10
Absolute must play
I payed 25 dollars
For no case or book
Sam & Max: Season 1 - 7/10
I need to realize
Point and click is not for me
Hilarious though
Star Wars: The Force Unleashed - 7/10
A great Star Wars game
By general standards though
Felt like pulling teeth
Sonic Chronicles: The Dark Brotherhood - 5/10
Overrated dev
Takes overrated franchise
Results not shocking
Chrono Trigger DS - 9/10
A timeless classic
Do you see what I did there?
God damn I'm funny
Super Mario Sunshine - _/10
Not rated because
The formula fits just fine
I'm just bored with it
Ratchet & Clank Future: Tools of Destruction - 8/10
It's great mindless fun
Difficulty curve is shit
Games cute and funny
Mirror's Edge - 7/10
Sad when a good thought
Is poorly executed
Missed another jump
Left 4 Dead - 9/10
Best co-op ever
In memory: JohnTheCrow
God dammit, Francis
Gears of War 2 - 8/10
Bro, it's the sequel
Bigger, better, more bad ass
That's about it, bro
Fable 2 - 9/10
A perfect mixture
Humor and seriousness
Hammers got man-legs
Grand Theft Auto 4 - 8/10
No doubt that it's good
Game of the year it is not
REAL cars drive better
Fallout 3 - 10/10
Oblivion. Guns.
Great tastes together at last
It's not a bad thing
Lost Odyssey - 7/10
Emotional plot
Trapped in JRPG frame
Too hard in places
Civilization Revolution - 7/10
Great execution
I wish I played this game more
Up for a match, guys?
Metal Gear Solid 2 - 9/10
People hate Raiden
I really don't understand
Uh, the plot I mean
Metal Gear Solid 3 - 9/10
Ruined my vision
Big Boss is tougher than that
The End is the best
Metal Gear Solid 4 - 8/10
Combat was the best
Is this scene still not over?
More movie than game
Little Big Planet - 8/10
Muslims should be mad
Not at music, but controls
Check out "What goes up..."
Final Fantasy Tactics A2: Grimoire of the Rift - 8/10
A good tactical
Ranks with Big Foot for rareness
Hear that Disgaea?!
Super Smash Bros. Brawl - 8/10
Mario hits Peach
We've all dreamed about that, right?
Maybe I'm just weird.
A Kingdom for Keflings - 7/10
Not much to do here
Run around, place blocks, build stuff
Why is it so fun?
Castle Crashers - 9/10
Co-op worked for me
Forever replayable
Best ending ever
Ikaruga - 10/10
I can't beat stage 4
I owe RetroForce a debt
Thanks Topher Cantler
Geometry Wars: Retro Evolved 2 - 8/10
It's the first, times six
I am no good at this game
Graphics hurt my eyes
Penny Arcade Adventures: OTRSPOD: Episode 1 & 2 - 9/10
Point and click made fun
Mike and Jerry are like Gods
Lovecraft would be proud
Braid - 10/10
Pretentious art crap
Sounds like something I would like
Rewind is so fun
Metal Slug 3 - 8/10
You are a zombie
You can barf to clear a screen
Enough said I think
Undertow - 3/10
Free for a reason
An apology worth shit
MS still owes us
Jesus H Christ's blog
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Oh, great idea!
I really enjoyed this blog.
Refrigerator.
Pendelton wins.
Damn it, Pendelton
You stole my idea, ya' prick
Now I am upset
rofl, you two crack me up.
TF2 is good! Maybe you just suck at it? You play a lot of games.
TF2 is bad! And I do suck at it :(
Hey... you're that guy from the forums.
You are a fool man.
Why don't you like Braid?
Get the fuck out. NOW!
No really, great blog. I loved it. Also, you played a shit load of games this year!
Dialog is what made No More Heroes what it is. TF2 is the best Valve game by far. Fable II is crappy, glitchy, not funny, and inconsistent as hell.
This post is made of WIN.
I like it!
I totally relate on 'Mirror's Edge', that game is aggravating to me.
MS3 an 8?
But it is total perfection!
What more do you want?
Short, concise reviews
For too many games to count
Boy, you get around
Your criticisms,
Some valid and some bullshit,
Made for a good read
good list.
This is the best blog of the day! :D
No offense to the other blogs ... this one is just extra awesome!
@Garison: I gave it a 10/10!
@Dan Citi: You're right about the No More Heroes dialogue, but it WAS cheesy. Not bad, cheesy. TF2 still sucks though.
@Jonathan: MGS3 gets a 9 from me, 4 an 8 (I guess you meant 4). What more do I want from 4? More game play.
@Pappadukes: Hahaha!
Damn clever idea
Points for creativity
Wish I had done this
Wow, that's some dedication. I should keep a list of the games I play.
Jesus H. Christ; this is rad.
Sorry, I'm sure you get that all the time.
chad's in a good mood.
Not only was this a fucking awesome list of haikus, but I think the reviews might be more apt than many (found outside of Dtoid).
There wasn't a bad one in the bunch.
Amazing blog, Jesus!
Dang Jesus, someone should like, write a book about how you are awesome and about the awesome stuff you do. I got this feeling that some people could get behind a book like that.
The Chrono Trigger haiku is hilarious and I definitely agree about Lovecraft.
Man, I must have missed this along the way...
Anyway, great blog and nice to meet you!
That was insightful, bro!
Yeah!
Great idea, really funny! Now, maybe I should steal this idea, kill you and everyone who saw this, so it can be all mine...
Did I really say this out loud? Gosh, SO embarassing when it happens...