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About Me
Jesus "H" Christ (May 13, 1922 – April 25, 2009) was an American actress, comedian and singer whose career spanned seven decades. Christ achieved fame as the character Maude Findlay on the 1970s sitcoms All in the Family and Maude, and as Dorothy Zbornak on the 1980s sitcom The Golden Girls, winning Emmy Awards for both roles. A stage actress both before and after her television success, she won the Tony Award for Best Featured Actress in a Musical for her performance as Vera Charles in the original cast of Mame (1966).

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10 Things You Don't Know About Jesuses
Jesus H Christ | 5:12 PM on 01.30.2009 38 comments



"Jesuses" is indeed the plural of "Jesus." I looked it up.

I've been browsing Destructoid for almost two years now. In that time I feel like I've gotten to know a lot of you on an almost personal level. Not only do I recognize you from your avatars and usernames, but through your comments and blogs I've gotten a feel for your personalities, tastes, interests, and senses of humor. I feel like I know a lot of you. If we were to meet in person, I feel there would practically be no need for an introduction.

However, this account has only been active for about five months. I comment a fair amount, but I rarely blog, and I never go into IRC or the forums. You probably don't know shit about me. So, inspired (read: ripped off from) Silver Draagon's awesome blog from yesterday, here are ten things you may not know about me.

1) I'm grateful for all the drama that went down a few weeks ago. Sorry to bring this up as I'm sure we're all pretty sick of hearing about it and don't particularly care to remember it, but have you noticed anything different about Destructoid since it happened? Nick posting about Nintendo cereal, spontaneous hugging, Tyra Tuesday, BioToid? Destructoid has grown even more personal than it was before, somewhat in thanks to the "growing pain" of the last couple weeks.

2) I've only been a "hardcore" gamer for about two years. I don't mean I switched from nothing but browser-based flash games to the PS3. I've been gaming since I was about three years old, but it's only been in the last two that I've kept up with the industry, gotten into more indie titles, and generally had games be a bigger part of my life. Before I would play your Final Fantasies, Grand Theft Autos, the occasional Tony Hawk game, but now I play any triple A and not so triple A title I can get my hands on.

3) I regret getting rid of my old systems so much! This kind of ties into #2. Whenever a new system would come out I figured the logical thing to do would be to trade up for it, and this was before the days of backwards compatibility of course. I disparately wish I still had my NES, SNES, Genesis, Game Gear, Game Boy, Saturn, and Dreamcast. Alas, I was a tard.



4) As I've gotten older I have a lower tolerance for jRPGs. The games that originally turned gaming into more than just a hobby and into an obsession for me were jRPGs; Final Fantasy 7 and Super Mario RPG. I think the last jRPG I truly enjoyed was Final Fantasy X. I gave Lost Odyssey a fair shot and it just failed to resonate with me. I'm not sure what it is. Is it the grinding, the long cutscenes, the recycled stories, my lack of time now that I have to be an adult? Yes to all four. But with my recent rediscovery of my love of tacticals I'm hopeful that there is a jRPG out there somewhere to wean me back onto them. Thanks to DiscounToid, Persona 3: FES arrived in the mail today. Fingers crossed.

5) World of Warcraft can go fuck the Devil in Hell. I have some weird need to level. Watching my undead priest go from a level one wimp in rags to a level 60 healing machine was a pure joy for me. I played for a little over a year, and quit about two months after the first expansion came out. I had a total playtime between my characters of about two months. I tried playing again about a year ago and it made me sick. Running from enemy to enemy, simply right clicking and waiting for it to die. It was awful. But I love leveling up and the Warcraft universe so much, it makes me mad how little respect for my time that game has. Fuck it.



6) What my username says about me In a word; nothing. I'm not religious or anti-religious. I'm not fond of labels but if I had to choose a religious doctrine I'd call myself an agnostic. It's not that I'm on the fence or that I'm being non-committal. I feel that an absolute belief without proof in the existence of God is just as silly and irrational as an absolute belief with no proof in the absence of a god. Cthulhu fhtagn.

7) I'm learning Japanese. I've been learning for about three weeks now. There's a series of YouTube videos a drunk American English teacher living in Japan makes that I've been watching. I can say "Where is the toilet?" and "That guy is a motherfucker."



8) I've been making music since I was 15. I started learning guitar at 13 and joined a band a few years later. We sucked. Bad. I've mostly played in shitty grind/metal bands because it seems like everyone in South Carolina either wants to play that or Hot Topic music. A few years ago I decided to just start writing music on my own and making MIDI files out of what I wrote. There's a link to the Myspace page of a few of my songs in my side bar if you want to listen.

9) Here are some additional facts about me. I'm 23. I live in Columbia, South Carolina. I went to school for technical drafting (drawing blueprints) but I don't use my degree for my job. I work for a company called CSI that makes construction materials for buildings and bridges. Most drunk bimbos at bars think I do forensics when I tell them where I work. I have a cat named Mellow who recently scratched the paint off my wall in the shape of a cock. I just got done reading Y: The Last man.



10) I'm going to put a baby in each and every one of you.



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34 comments | showing # 1 to 34
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MrSadistic's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/30/2009 17:24
MrSadistic
hey Jesus, how's it going
The Bez's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/30/2009 17:31
The Bez
PLZ Link to the youtube japanese vids
Coonskin05's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/30/2009 17:31
Coonskin05
Nobody fucks with the Jesus.
garrfunkel's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/30/2009 17:35
garrfunkel
I couldnt agree more on the jRPG point. I still love the genre in a way but I hate that I can never get to finish even the ones I love.

Also come to the forums

There new I hear.
blehman's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/30/2009 17:38
blehman
PENIS!

I mean, that's very nice dearie.
Danmartigan's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/30/2009 18:01
Danmartigan
I need to learn some japanese so I can tell those motherfuckers to stop joining my street fighter rooms and killing me with their lag moves.
Corak's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/30/2009 18:09
Corak
This is the only Jesus I love.

Scrixx's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/30/2009 18:14
Scrixx
I'm legally changing my name to Jah Hay Zeuz Hache Cah Riste.
ZekeThePlumber's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/30/2009 18:18
ZekeThePlumber
FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!
Atlas's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/30/2009 18:18
Atlas
Interestingly enough I was reading about how you really don't need "proof" against God to not believe in him. Take for example leprechauns. They have movies, books, and even cereal about leprechauns! We have absolutely no proof they exist, yet we have absolutely no proof that they don't exist. Is it irrational and silly to deny the existence of leprechauns despite no evidence against their hidden existence? We remain non-believers of leprechauns until proof of them has validated their existence. It is entirely rational to not believe in leprechauns despite their being no proof against their existence since they are unfalsifiable. In other words you can never disprove leprechauns as silly as they seem. It was an interesting argument in favour of atheism being entirely rational until unarguable proof of God or gods surfaces.
Y0j1mb0's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/30/2009 18:20
Y0j1mb0
Jesus H. Christ!!
SilverDragon1979's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/30/2009 18:31
SilverDragon1979
Holy Mary Mother of God .... I actually inspried someone to do something ... what in the hell is the world coming too???
Jesus H Christ's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/30/2009 18:38
Jesus H Christ
@The Bez: his username is Bumnumba1

@Atlas: If you're trying to say Leprechauns aren't real I'll personally lead a jihad straight up your ass.
MechaMonkey's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/30/2009 18:45
MechaMonkey
Oh shit, Jesus is callin' out a jihad up in this bitch.
nukka jdav's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/30/2009 18:45
nukka jdav
Y: The Last Man! This is glorious news!

Also, I've always read your name with a Chris Farley voice in my head. You seem like a cool dude, and cool dudes are cool in my book.
DF's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/30/2009 18:51
DF
Don't cross your fingers. Play that FES! I haven't played a Persona game before, but wow. I've had plenty of jRPG experience too and I'm loving the hell out of it. Maybe taking place in modern times and it having an interesting dating-sim-like system is good to me. I already want to pick up P4 at this rate.
Atlas's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/30/2009 18:52
Atlas
@ J. Christ of Nazareth

Don't kill the messenger I'm just relaying arguments others have made.
Jesse Cortez's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/30/2009 19:01
Jesse Cortez
Great reading about all the details that Matt, Mark, Luke and John left out! :P

Jesus loves me yes I know!! For the C-blog tells me so!! <3
TheDreadHawk's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/30/2009 19:10
TheDreadHawk
PUT YO BABY IN MEEE
RiotMonster's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/30/2009 19:59
RiotMonster
There's a bun in the oven and his father is Jesus tap-dancing Christ
t3chn1k4l's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/30/2009 21:44
t3chn1k4l
Since your in columbia why don't you come to Platinum Plus thursday night and party with me for my birthday. I'll even let you buy me a lap dance.
Red TheHaze Veron's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/31/2009 00:05
Red TheHaze Veron
are you a mexi
nebones's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/31/2009 03:49
nebones
Hey, what's up?
Mentok the Mindtaker's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/31/2009 08:40
Mentok the Mindtaker
Awsomesaurus-rex
RiotMonster's Avatar - Comment posted on 01/31/2009 11:37
RiotMonster
I think I have a crush on Jesus
007's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/01/2009 00:07
007
1 thing you should know about me...

I love those pictures in your blog. lol
Hamza CTZ Aziz's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/01/2009 18:31
Hamza CTZ Aziz
I love your username so much.
Stella Wong's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/01/2009 20:24
Stella Wong
you have the best username ever

I really hope that Persona 3 FES will get you back into the JRPG groove. I know it's hard to get into it again with all the long hours it takes.

Ou! I noticed you wanted to learn Japanese, one of the best dictionary reference books I've used is Kondansha's furigana Japanese dictionary. Highly recommendable for someone who wants to learn more words and increase their vocabulary.
Jesus H Christ's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/01/2009 21:22
Jesus H Christ
@Nukka: Man you're not only the president, but a member of the Cool Dudes Club.

@Hamza: Thanks ^_^

@Stella: Thank you so much! I'll definitely check out that book. I've only been learning for three weeks but I feel like I'm making pretty good progress. Mainly concentrating on all the hiragana and a few particles right now. Maybe by Pax '10 (east coast!) I'll be able to have a conversation in Japanese witchya. :)
's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/01/2009 21:33
Clint
You're my favorite Jesus after Raptor Jesus :)
AgentMOO's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/01/2009 22:18
AgentMOO
Epic pics, good read!
JRisJunior's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/02/2009 00:52
JRisJunior
lol at pic at the end. and for 7, that's really all you need to know, right?
Haxan's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/02/2009 12:50
Haxan
I am completely with you on number 6 for the exact same reasoning. It all just comes down to, "well, what the fuck do I know?"
QW8K's Avatar - Comment posted on 04/04/2011 10:03
QW8K
"Hoes on my dick cause I look like Jesus."- Lil B the Based God
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