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4:06 PM on 10.11.2008  

The Sickest, Most Offensive Book I Have Ever Read aka This Book Fuckin' Rocks aka This Blog Has Been A Long Time Coming

Wow, I can't believe I'm still writing on my D-toid blog. It's not like I have a fan base or anything... Still I get a kick out of posting my thoughts on a board full of strangers, so have at it. It has been far too long.

Ever since school started again here in LA I've been up to my ass in homework, chores and general dickery which has prevented me from posting my inane, rambling, incomprehensible thoughts on D-Toid.

Anyway, onto my main topic. About a month ago I had the pleasure/misfortune of having read Warren Ellis's Crooked Little Vein, a little book of about 200+ pages that reads like a hardcore fetish porno crossed with the best of Raymond Chandler or your favorite mystery auteur. Micheal McGill, a PI stuck in LA finds his services requested by the White House Chief of Staff, a drug fiend, who wants him to find the "real" Constitution of the United States, one bound in the skin of an alien who pestered Ben Franklin on his voyage to France to treaty with the dirty Europeans. Yeah...

The book includes encounters with Godzilla bukkake fetishists, saline solution injections to the balls and various other curiosities found across the good 'ol wholesome US of A. Near the end of the book there's an encounter with a serial killer aboard an airplane that left me with chills. Pure poetry.

Ellis, like many foreign writers, seems to understand our country better than us. He shows it for what it is: a weird, morbid place full of various weirdos and freaks, all of them just a little less strange than we would like them to be. They are after all just regular Americans who happen to be into something kinky. And really, who isn't? As far as I can tell, there's nothing wrong with that.


Any of you guys read it? Other recommendations from Warren Ellis or other authors?
Leave your comments below.

here's the amazon link

  read


6:28 PM on 06.29.2008  

Today I Failed at Escaping the Inevitable

It seems today, a sunday of all possible days, my destiny has caught up with me. I tried to escape it, following the wise words of John Connor, "There is no destiny but what you make of it" or something like that...

Today my Xbox just red-ringed on me. Woe is me. Alas, it was not meant to be. Hey that rhymed.

This is my second 360. The first one was bad right out of the box so there was no problem just exchanging that one for a functioning one. It's funny; I've had it almost two years now and until now felt that at this rate I might just come out unscathed of this whole red ring ballyhoo. Guess not...

All I can do at this point is just send it in for repair and wait for it. But until then...

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(fellow 360 owners, be afraid, be very afraid)

p.s. thankfully the customer support was not totally crappy, call just took me 20 min.

anybody have some 360 horror stories to share?   read


5:45 PM on 06.28.2008  

Wall*E aka How A Little Robot Melted My Cold, Evil Heart.

I just came back from watching Wall*E at the theater and I feel like a little kid trying to tell his friends that what he just saw was awesome and that they should believe him because if they don't then they will be gay... Wait, maybe my comparison doesn't hold up that well.

Anyway...

Back to the movie. I'm not gonna get into a plot description because I'm sure you guys already know what the movie is about. I'm just going to say that this film is Pixar's best outing yet, a great hard Sci-Fi film to boot, and an amazing family film with an important message for the all the little kids out there(and some adults too).

As I watched the film, all the while keeping a big smirk on my face, I let myself go from the reality of the world, ignoring the overly loud family behind me making oohs and aahhs at the screen, and just living with the little doe-eyed robot and the sleek little, almost suppositorial(wow, a suppository reference in a kid's film review) looking, EVE and just forgetting that I was watching a computer animated film. It is beautiful.

Any of you seen it theaters? Waiting for the DVD? Agree with me or disagree?
Your comments are appreciated.   read


7:12 PM on 04.24.2008  

Geek Alert:Guillermo Del Toro to Officially Direct the Hobbit Films.

Here's the link
to the awesome news.

So anybody excited?
Personally, I just blew a load.   read


6:00 PM on 04.03.2008  

Bomb Threat aka Greatest Senior Prank EVER

So I'm sitting at my drawing desk during second period when all of a sudden we hear the voice of the vice principal over the intercom.

He's telling us to evacuate the main school building and head towards the football field. Thankfully our class isn't in the main building and we remained in our classroom until further notice. Now, I attend Belmont High School in Los Angeles. Our school tends to around 4,000 students, I mean, IT IS PACKED. From messages I received, the football field was overflowing with students, and I start hearing that there are talks of a bomb in the main building.

I've seen things like this on TV and now I'm living it. Then I start to ask myself, "Since we're so near graduation, could this be the senior prank?"

Turns out it was. Greatest Senior Prank Ever. They managed to evacuate the school and get the L.A. Bomb Squad into the campus.

Any of you guys have any memorable senior pranks you remember? Anything that can top that?   read


10:03 PM on 03.18.2008  

Full Tropic Thunder Trailer aka Robert Downey Jr. is GOD

I saw the trailer at about 4 in the afternoon today.
4 hours later and I still keep coming back to it. Love the way it starts like a serious war movie and then just smacks you in the face with funny.
Here's a link to the trailer on the official site.
woohoo
p.s. Robert Downey Jr. in black face is pure distilled awesomeness.   read


11:03 PM on 02.24.2008  

No Country For Old Men Wins Best Picture!!!!

AWESOMENESS

Yes!!!!! I loved this movie! Any of you guys feel the same.

But, it is a shame that There Will Be Blood did not win. That movie rocked balls.   read


9:29 PM on 02.19.2008  

Professor Layton aka I don't need to solve a puzzle to take a shit, do I?

I just got Professor Layton and the Curious Village for the DS, this sunday.

I ask you this. How the hell does such a "simple" game manage to be so awesome?

By making you feel like a FUCKING GENIUS every time you solve a 50 picarat puzzle, that's how.

No, but really, this game is fucking sweet. I'm barely at the point where you have to find Ramon, but I have fuckin' loved every minute of it.

So far I'm considering it my best game of '08 so far.

What do you guys think? Anybody feel the same about this game? Anybody hate it with a passion?

Please leave your comments.   read


8:54 PM on 02.03.2008  

New York Giants are my Heroes...

Never say never...

I'm so happy...

leave your comments...   read


10:18 PM on 02.01.2008  

Strange Wilderness aka Watch Out for Turkeys When Taking a Piss

So a couple of hours ago I went to check out Strange Wilderness with a couple of friends and just came back right now to share my thoughts.

I liked it... It has its moments of raunchy genius, such as the title of this piece.
There are a few unnecessary moments which bring the down the movie as a whole, but they're few and far between. As I mentioned, the whole turkey affair may just be the funniest thing in the movie, besides the already famous shark laugh, which brought the house down at the theater I was at.

On a different note, as we were exiting the theater we saw the huge line that had formed outside the theater, compromised of little girls and their mothers. Then we saw that they were playing that Hannah Montana concert movie in 3D. What is it with Hannah Montana?

Well anyway, any of you guys seen this or planning to? Leave your comments and opinions.   read


3:09 PM on 01.27.2008  

"Meet the Spartans" Tops Box Office; Is the American Public Really That Stupid?

I found a brief rundown of this weekend's box office results and I find them disheartening...

WHAT THE HELL IS THIS MOVIE DOING THERE AT NUMBER ONE???!!!!?!?!?!?

Sometimes I wonder what the hell is wrong with our young people (I'm one of them just in case you're asking).

Besides this flaming piece of shit, did anyone see anything else this weekend?

Leave your comments.   read


11:33 PM on 01.18.2008  

Cloverfield aka That's a Big Fucking Monster

So I've taken a break from all the hullaballoo that is keeping a blog on Destructoid.

Well, I'm back bitches...

So I just watched Cloverfield this evening, and well, am really impressed.
You know what, fuck that, I FUCKING LOVED THIS MOVIE.

I don't know if it's its just been the lack of a good monster movie or what, but this movie was excellent. Just wait till you start to get glimpses of the creature and you're hoping to see it head on, and when you eventually do, it's fucking great.

The internet hype was right, this is a movie event. Even if it runs less than 80 minutes, its miles beyond any monster movie of the past decade.

So, how about you guys? Gonna see it? Or is it just not your cup of tea?   read







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