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Jelly Lord's blog

10:09 PM on 03.17.2010

Monthly Musings "Sex"

Sex is the culmination of something. It can make us feel appreciated, or used. It can have a purpose bigger and far more reaching than the act or the chase up to it. If that isnt captured in a video game character then it kind of feels like it was just tacked on to reach the teen sex obessed demographic.

Sex for the sake of sex is pretty boring without context. And it is always more provocative when it is suggested rather than shown.

What would happen to our image of Megaman if he took a little roll with Roll?

What would happen to our image of Mario if he hooked up with Peach?

What would happen if Metroid hooked up with a space pirate?

What would happen if Sonic and Amy got together?

While sex in videogames may seem appealing, when you really undress the issue you are potentially opening up a big can of worms.

For example, for Megaman could it even be called sex, when he is a robot? If Roll became pregnant would the child be the equivalent of the human/cylon missing link? And would all of the other Robots try to kill it? What would Doctor Lights reaction be? If he has a heart attack from the shock of it all, who will fix Megaman next time he gets broken by Wiley? With Megaman as a father will he have time for any more 8 bit remakes? What kind of father would he be if his only known skills are defeating renegade robots?

What about Mario and Peach? If she became pregnant would Shigeru Miyamoto have to redesign her outfit in a cover up attempt to hide her pregnancy? Perhaps Peach would take a forced leave of absence while she brings up the child in secret? Would the son of Mario eventually with the help of his father have his own videogame?

Imagine you were playing Mass Effect 3 and based on a romantic encounter in the begining of the game, half way through it you started noticing your money was periodically getting lower, "Oh no child support payments".

Or you were playing as Marcus Fennix and instead of being brought down by a horde of locust you were bought down by an STD?

Sex is a beautiful thing, at least it is when im involved, I cant vouch for all of you. We should be encouraging our videogame charcters to be thoughtful before jumping into bed. We dont want to see Mario in the tabloids.

Now Im not into golf in any big way, and Im not entirely sure if "Tiger Woods" is a real person or a videogame character, because I have seen him on some box art. And the other night on TV I wasnt sure if they were promoting a new tigerwoods game were you got to have a lot of sex in it. Suffice to say Im a bit confussed trying to find the link between sex and golf?   read

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