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7:59 PM on 01.16.2015  

Call of Duty 12 Teased, Babies Everywhere Rejoice!

In a shocking new revelation, Activision has revealed that the next iteration of the highly popular Call of Duty series will arrive sometime in 2015. The new title, tentatively referred to as Call of Duty: Advancederer Warfaring, will be the twelfth major installment in the critically acclaimed franchise. In a feat of extremely profeshunal garmes jurnalism, I reached out to some Call of Duty experts for comment on the subject.

Clyde Dunghop (age 4) of the Little Red Schoolhouse in Sugartit, Kentucky alleges that Advancederer Warfaring will be the "most amazing Call of Duty ever," citing new features like "next gen fizzix," and "hache-dee visuals."

The prototypical Call of Duty player

Seventh grader Elisa Williams of Cooper Middle School reminisced about how she and her friends have been playing shooters like Call of Duty "practically since we were conceived way back in the olden days of 2002." Williams shared that there is a direct correlation* between the number of DLC packages and her overall happiness. We will see if the new game can live up to the legacy left by its predecessors.

I asked our supreme (ex-robot) overlord Jim Sterling about the game, and he summed it up as "the most spectacular load of chungus-ey goodness in all of gaming."

Face it, you don't know which CoD this is from.

All of this speculation is supported by one ancient Mayan prophecy, which roughly translates to "The twelfth Call of Duty will be the best Call of Duty for ever and ever until the end oftime. Until the thirteenth Call of Duty." Translations are tricky, though, so take this with a grain of salt. Other respected linguists have a competing theory that the prophecy reads something about penguins and a Strawberry Toaster Strudel. But who can tell?

The game is slated for November 5th of next year, but don't hold your breath. In previous years it has arrived as late as November 15th. We'll share more details as they are made available so you can prepare your work schedule and personal relationships around the arrival of this messiah of games.

Correlation is a word that Elisa had just learned earlier that day in math class, and she is very proud to have now used it in conversation. 


11:41 AM on 10.29.2009  

Modtoid: Black Mesa website revamped, looks sexy

Black Mesa (formerly known as Black Mesa Source) is a mod for the Source engine. It's a remake of the original Half-Life. And, well, at this point we really should refer to it as a game instead of a mod, since it uses all-new textures and models developed solely by the mod team. As I understand it, there is close to nothing in terms of art remaining from Half-Life 2. The project was started in 2004, and I've been waiting since 2004 for it to be released.

Just today (I know this because I check it everyday), the website for this mod has undergone a huge overhaul (which is really just a new home page design). It's sexier now. Not much in the name of new content, and it still hasn't been released, but the website is definitely giving yours truly a mountain in his pants.

Now, the devs have promised that this brilliant mod will be unveiled to the public at some date in 2009. This is better than the original proclamation that it would be released "when it's done" or "when Hell freezes over." So now we find ourselves dealing with the tragedy of only having awesome wallpaper photos to keep us busy. But there's a mere two months left in the year, so expect for an update as soon as I get my hands on it. Oh, and this thing's gonna be free. Did I mention that it's gonna be free? It will be. Free.   read

12:59 PM on 10.08.2009  

Games Under the Radar: Natural Selection

Natural Selection was one of those cult games that never really got the publicity it deserved. Probably because it's merely a glorified free mod for the popular PC game, Half-Life. Since the Dtoid team doesn't give this series much notice, I thought I would do it for them. Albeit, I will give credit where credit is due.

Pitting Marines vs Aliens (or Frontiersmen vs Kharra), NS was able to successfully combine elements of a first person shooter (FPS) and a real time strategy game (RTS). So imagine playing a futuristic Age of Empires where you directly control just one of the ground units and take vague directions from your commander (if you're a Frontiersmen) or run around aimlessly on the walls and ceiling as a Skulk until you find a juicy marine to eat. Or, you always have the ability to evolve into a bigger alien entity. Perhaps the unstoppable Onos, by chance?

Being a Half-Life mod, NS naturally drew in a select group of PC gamers, and to be honest, playing online nowadays is a fairly difficult task for newcomers. "What's an Armory look look? Oh, you want me to BUILD that? What button do I press? OMFG THE SKULKS THEY CAME AND WE DIED!" But generally, people are understanding and will show you the ropes. We were all n00bs once, and most players remember how daunting it can be entering a server for the first time and having less than nothing of an idea of what's going on.

While there are still plenty of thriving servers, most of us NS players are patiently awaiting the release of Unknown World's newest project, Natural Selection 2. The sequel has been crafted from the ground up, with it's own custom engine, real time lighting, and dynamic infestation technologies. You can pre-order this beast for a mere $19.95, or show your appreciation and get the Special Edition for $39.95. Oh, and don't forget to watch the trailer I've posted below.

oh noes! It's teh onos!   read

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