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Jamie McGinn's blog
destructoid  Contributor

4:30 AM on 12.24.2011

My gift to the Destructoid EU Community

A link to YouTube because apparently you can't embed videos anymore!

It's Christmas Eve, but you can have this one present early I suppose. Can you guess what it is? It's just what you always wanted! A YouTube video!

I love the Dtoid EU community so much that I couldn't let a big event like Christmas go past without doing something to show how much this crazy-awesome group of kick-ass people mean to me. Not sure exactly why I chose this form of a gift, I guess my mind is just a crazy person.

Massive thanks to Jonathan Holmes for stepping up and doing an amazing job at the voice over infomercial guy. He's a really busy guy and he still took time out to record all the silly lines I wrote. I've heard people call him the nicest person they've ever met, and I can totally see why!

If I left you out, it's mostly because you're a bad person and I don't like you. No, not really. When a community is as big as the Dtoid EU one, it's hard to fit everyone in (oh ho).

I hope you guys enjoy it and that it makes you laugh. Merry Christmas to all you amazing people whom I am privileged to have in my life.

Also, orgy orgy orgy orgy orgy.   read

10:55 AM on 05.17.2011

The Dtoid Europe SIMulation Experiment 2.0 - Episode 4

The long wait for the occupants of house 4 is over! Love, life and death await us in this exciting episode!

From left to right:
Simon (Sitting)

We join Jake, Kyle and Simon getting there grove on in the cluuuub

Francis is dating a hot blonde named Jolina who moves in with him

Jake and Gibbo relax together in the hot tub. Naked of course.

Kyle and Gavin share a strictly platonic snuggle.

Simon and Gibbo do the horizontal mambo

Francis cheats on Jolina with Jake!

Gavin and Kyle give in to their longings

Jake heads off to work wearing nothing but a towel. SeŠn watches from afar...

Oh shit! Jolina is pregnant with Francis' child!

Gavin rejects Gibbo's very well dressed advances.

Now that he is now going to be a father, Francis does the only thing he can, check himself out in the mirror.

Jake leaves work and feels slightly creeped out.

Having reconsidered Gibbo's advances, Gavin tries to seduce Gibbo, who turns the tables and rejects him!

Francis starts to think he might have made a mistake

Gavin, haunted by his rejection from Gibbo, runs away from the pain. All the way to Egypt.

There is no caption that would do this picture justice. Not even this one.

Gavin blends in seamlessly with the locals, showing much respect for their customs.

Jake and Kyle do the no pants dance

Francis gets home from his job as a chef to find Jolina going into labour! He handles the situation with grace.

Where there is life, there is death. Gavin was sleeping peacefully in his tent when he was struck by a meteor! Maybe he's OK though?

Whelp, I guess not.

The ghost of Gavin pleads for his life with the Grim Reaper to no avail. He will be missed :(

Francis and Jolina arrive home with their new baby boy! They name him Gavin.

And on that bittersweet bombshell, that's the end of episode 4! Hope you enjoyed it!   read

8:58 AM on 05.10.2011

The Dtoid Europe SIMulation Experiment 2.0 - Episode 3

Finally! The eagerly awaited (by me) next episode is here! Due to getting a new MAXIMUM EVERYTHING PC (With blue go faster lights) there was a bit of a delay, but enough excuses and onwards to Sim shenanigans!

From left to right:
Chris (sitting)

Presenting House 3!

Gale and Jordan set the tone for the episode early.

Meanwhile, Chris chill out at the beach. He can't help but feel like he's being watched for some reason.

Germany and Mikey go to the park and touch books.

Aidan is probably about to be mistaken for a spy.

Jordan heads to the gym, in style!

Is Gale playing an amazing game, or watching amazing porn? You decide!

Germany check out his sexy self in the mirror for a few hours. HOURS.

Aidan makes the moves on a married older woman whilst her husband looks on.

Jordan has actually broken into someone house in order to clean their dishes. Thankfully they aren't in.

Mikey and Chris feel like making love. Three times in a row actually.

Out of fucking nowhere Germany slaps the shit out of Gale.

Some illicit three way book touching action. Cameo by kyle!

Gale, Aidan and Chris decide to visit the local graveyard and explore the mausoleum, as you do.

Germany lays the smack down on some random girl in the street.

Aidan tries to sex up some Gale, but he's not having any of it.

Chris and Jordan play a game of hide the sausage. Poor Mikey.

Chris and Jordan go for some post coitus skinny dipping. Gale does not approve.

Germany attacks Gale for no reason!

Germany's reign of terror continues!

Gale (Who is a fireman now) starts dating a Granny called Yumi and asks her to move in! GILF! GILF! GILF!

Yumi gets no special treatment from Germany.


From literal fires, to the fires of infidelity, Chris and Cop Jordan go at it again.

Oh shit! Busted!

Germany gropes Gale's Granny Girlfriend!

And on that illicit alliteration bombshell, that's the end of Episode 3!   read

8:16 AM on 04.14.2011

The Dtoid Europe SIMulation Experiment 2.0 - Episode 2

Hello again dear reader, ready for some more hijinks? With no further ado, lets get right into it! Presenting House 2!

From left to right:
Andy (Sitting)

Lets go!

Since this house was running along in the background whilst I observed house 1, things have progressed. Turns out Beccy and Wilbo are engaged! Just look at the love in Wilbo's eyes.

Their love is so pure and wholesome. Are they saving themselves for marriage I wonder?

Guess not.

Elsewhere, Jake gets his gardening on.

Hollie get her dancin' on.

Andy is sad that he burnt those waffles.

Jamie pours his soul into his art.

Wilbo and Hollie share a secret kiss and fall in love!

Gandy spends the day in his dressing gown watching children's TV.

Beccy freaks the fuck out for no apparent reason.

It's the middle of the night, everyone else is in bed and Jamie drinks on his own. That can't be good.

Looks like someone is pregnant!

Hollie dances some more. She is a dancing machine!

Jake works out in front of the TV whilst Jamie continues to pour his possibly troubled soul into his painting.


Preggers Beccy doesn't believe in personal space apparently.

Jamie's completed painting is a tombstone. I guess he really IS troubled.


The male maid pretends to be listening for the baby, but he's totally checking out Beccy's tits.

Jamie comes home from work and passes out on the floor.

Beccy whilst heavily pregnant, decides to go for a midnight swim when everyone is asleep, when suddenly...

Wilbo and Beccy rush off to the hospital, for some reason Beccy drives.

A few hours later the couple are home with a new member of the household. Say hello to baby girl Wilcy! I wonder if parenthood will change them?


And on that parental bombshell, that's the end of episode 2!   read

8:26 AM on 04.13.2011

The Dtoid Europe SIMulation Experiment 2.0 - Episode 1

Yes! It's back! With one hell of a cumbersome title! I decided to do a quick reboot of this project and add a couple of choice mods to up the hilarity. So without further ado, let the shenanigans begin!

They say the beginning is a very good place to start, so onward to the new House 1!

From left to right:
Craig (sitting)

As another slight change, each house will be unique! I downloaded random houses online, so it's the luck of the draw as to the quality of their abode. Lets have a look at where our heroic sims shall be living.

Maurice is found diligently spending his free time writing up some reports for his job as a police lieutenant. (The game somehow glitched and promoted him 5 times before his first day)

Craig and SeŠn don't get off to the best of starts

Elsewhere, Maurice and Phil aren't exactly hitting it off. Maurice is such a Troll (Y u mad tho?)

Seto avoids the chaos and chill out with a good book. (Point Farmer: The Story of Grand Rodiek)

Nik also relaxes in the world of words. (The Adventures of Raymundo)

The next day, everyone is up early to read more books! READIN' ALL UP IN THIS MOTHER. Clothing is optional.

Craig bucks the book trend, opting instead to watch some telly.

Maurice spends his day off driving around town in his very own Cop car.

Tragedy strikes as the TV breaks! Seto sets about fixing it, using nothing but a screwdriver.

It worked!

Nik heads out to work his first day as a paper boy. (Unintentional nekkid Phil sighting)

Maurice heads off to the station, who doesn't love a man in uniform?

Speaking of uniforms, don't let anyone say you can't pull of pink, Craig.

Later on, Nik gets stuck in to a broken shower. (SeŠn did it)

Craig and Army Seto (with kung-fu grip) settle down after a hard days work and play some videogames.

SeŠn calls Maurice out on being a mean bastard. Which he totally is.

For some reason that I'm sure made sense to him at the time, Craig decides to give himself a sponge bath in the middle of the kitchen.

Feeling fresh, Craig retires to his bed to relax and is joined by SeŠn...

Wait what..

Oh God, looks like we're about to see our first official Sim shag!


And on that cockteasing bombshell, that's the end of episode 1!   read

8:40 AM on 04.03.2011

Pooping is shit, I will make it better.

Why no, this is not videogame related.

We all must poop, yet the act of evacuating one's bowels is not very exciting. Relieving oneself is not an emotional experience, nor does launching a sub help us better understand the human condition. Why must such a necessary biological function be so boring? Could ass sneezing be an emotional journey of self discovery? Can drowning a mud bunny ever be considered a spiritual experience?

I would say that the answer is yes.

I believe that with a simple choice of music, the next time you frisbee a bun fudge you will have a life changing experience. Allow me to set the scene.

You didn't sleep well last night and getting up was, in and of itself, a monumental feat of sheer willpower. With no time for breakfast you hurry to your place of work, where you prepare to toil in anguish for the next 8 hours. You are kept busy throughout the day, far too busy in fact as you have no time to spare, that thing you kept putting off can be put off no longer as the impending deadline looms above you like a really fat, intimidating bird. As the day passes, you feel a pressure in your bowels, any other day you would have taken a quick break to do a big jobby, but not this day, you are far too busy.

Eventually the workday ends and you begin the journey home. The pressure in your bowels demands your attention, you begin to fear that even though you are a grown adult, you might actually shit yourself. Rush hour traffic cares not a jot for your desperate plight to get home and do the backdoor trot. What feels like centuries later, you manage to get home, you make a desperate dash for the loo and whip your kegs down as fast as humanly possible.

Suddenly nothing. The pressure keeps building but there is no release! You frantically grab on to anything you can nearby to brace yourself. You can feel your entire body begin to quake as your own personal Krakatoa nears exploding.

And then the music kicks in. (Please listen to the songs and imagine yourself in this situation)

Michael Giacchino - There's no place like home

You begin to think this is the one. This is the poop you feared all along. This is the poop that kills you. Thoughts of your loved ones flood through your mind, do they know how you really feel about them? When they find your exploded body, will they understand how much you cared? You begin to transition through the five stages of poop grief. At first you deny that you even have to poop at all, clenching as hard as you can. Then anger, anger at the poop. Fuck you poop, you think. You begin to bargain with your ass, "I'll get more fiber in my diet!" you say, "Wait, or is it less fiber? I will change the amount of fiber in my diet!" you plead, but your ass seems not to care. You begin to openly weep at the futility of life as depression sets in, before finally accepting your fate. You lived a good life, full of love, laughter and apparently poop. You mentally say your farewell to this life and close your eyes.


Bill Conti - Gonna Fly Now

You've trained all your life for this moment. The situation seems dire, but you are not a quitter. Physically spent, you have only your sheer willpower to see you through. Knuckles turn white as you tighten your grip on whatever you can find, teeth gritted, you prepare to go the distance. When this struggle began, you both feared and hated the poop. However, during your epic battle you've gained a new found respect, a warriors respect. Together you have battled and brought out the best in each other. A single manly tear streaks down your face as you feel your opponent slip up. He fought well and died in battle, like a true warrior.

What a heroic little shit.

Flight of the Valkyries

There is no setting up for this wonderful pooping aid of a song. Just listen to it and imagine how improved your shitting experience will be. You may drop off a few pounds in the bowl, but you'll feel a few feet taller afterwards.

This is by no means a complete list. There are many other wonderful pieces out there that will vastly enrich the act of dropping doo-doo depth charges. Please feel free to share your own personal discoveries and experiences in the comments below.

I honestly urge you to try this, it will forever change your life.   read

12:12 PM on 02.26.2011

"Storming The Podcastle" Movie script discovered!

Reposting this blog because I was silly and put it up on the weekend when the site was dead. Thanks to all those that did comment on it though!

Whilst walking my sisters dog (I'm a nice guy, aren't I?), I happened upon a rather eccentric acting homeless man. He confronted me and offered me a trade, if I gave him the mighty sum of 50p he would let me take an item from his box. I at once recoiled in horror, but thankfully he produced a small, tattered cardboard box from beneath his long, shaggy coat.

The box contained a deflated football, a bottle of Irn Bru filled with an unknown liquid, "Atlas Shrugged" by Ayn Rand and a bunch of loosely clipped papers. Upon closer inspection the papers appeared to be random pages from a script... a script for a Podcastle film! When pressed on where the script came from, he simply stated he collected it on his travels and would say no more. I gave him the 50p and was on my way.

I have now scanned the few pages I have for your enjoyment, enjoy.

Sadly that is all the pages I had. Will we ever find out the ending to this epic? Will the Podcastle feature film ever be realised? Sadly I think not, once Jim moves to America I think it's all over.   read

1:05 PM on 01.28.2011

The Dtoid Europe SIMulation Experiment: Episode 3

Welcome weary travellers! Welcome to the (possibly) last episode of the Dtoid Europe SIMulation Experiment! Sorry for the delay, but then again most gamers should be used to waiting for Episode 3! God damn I'm hilarious, sexy too.

Anyway, lets introduce House 3!

From left to right:
Justice (sitting)
Fusion (kneeling)

Things are off to an awkward start as Hammertiem wakes up first in the house, puts on his best suit, wanders into Justice's room and starts to choke himself.

Fusion decides to perk everyone up by playing some morning guitar. Everyone seems quite sad about it to be honest.

Kylius, so saddened by the musical encounter, goes on to have possibly the saddest workout known to simkind.

Fusion has a little accident... So close yet so far!

Playing Videogames in your tiger striped boxers. TheToiletDuck has life all figured out.

DarkAndroid chooses to watch TV in Hammertiems room, even though he has a perfectly good TV in his own room.

Justice spies on the goings on in House 2. He wants to know your secrets.

I'd like to highlight this, one of Hammertiems relationships is with a car. He is friends with a car.

More platonic bed sharing! This time between Fusion and Watermanx! Also, dreams of Kylius!

Njsykora runs off to work as a Flight Officer. I have no idea what that is, but snazzy uniform!

Fusion tries to put the moves on the maid, the same made from House 1! Justice tries not to notice and TheToiletDuck watches stealthily...


*Ahem* Kylius was having none of that, and soon swooped in to try and woo the maid himself

Again, opting to ignore the fact he has his own TV, DarkAndroid rests in TheToiletDucks bed and watches his TV

I'm sorry, I can't hear you. I'm not wearing any trousers.

Wow, really guys? Watermanx and Fusion gettin' their platonic snoozin' on. Again. In Njsykora's bed.

Hammertiem is pretty pissed off that the plant won't take a look at his shit.

GASP! Platonic snooze infidelity! Fusion and DarkAndroid? Poor Watermanx...

Jordan invited Hammertiem into House 1! Hammertiem when straight up to their PC and sat and played Chess. He then took a shower and raided their fridge. Jordan got pissed and kicked him out.

Umm.. this can't end well...

And on that implied rape bombshell, that's the end of episode 3! I'm not really sure if I'm going to do any more of these. They are a surprising amount of work to do and I fear that they will get boring fairly quickly. So unless I have an awesome idea, I think this is over for now at least.

Hope you enjoyed it!   read

1:09 PM on 01.10.2011

The Dtoid Europe SIMulation Experiment: Episode 2

Welcome back for part 2 of the continued simulated shenanigans of Dtoid Europe. Sorry that this took so long to get posted, but I was pretty ill! I only recently regained my sense of taste! (Taste is AWESOME by the way)

Since I'm assuming you've already read part one (and if not, do so now! It's pretty neat-o!) so we shall just skip right on to the good stuff.

Introducing House 2!

From left to right:
Gibbo (lying down)

Now you may notice some similar surroundings in these pictures from the first one, that's because all three houses on the street are exact copies of each other. Time was a factor! Enough babbling, LETS GO!

As we join house 2 (which was running in the background along with house 3 whilst I observed house 1) Wilbo sits alone on a balcony, doing.... well nothing actually...

The rest of the lads get down to some gaming! (n0brien is dressed like that because he joined the Army!)

Meanwhile, Beccy plays catch with the gardener. (I never got a picture of it due to laughing, but Maurice wasn't happy about this and ran right up to the gardener and SLAPPED THE FUCK OUT OF HER)

Breakfast time, and the house seems to enjoy a rather... relaxed dress code

A memo that Wilbo seems pretty angry he didn't receive...

To quell his inner rage, Wilbo began to view a living-room plant and think of sandwiches

RAPE TIME! (Wilbo approved!)

Elsewhere, Phil and n0brien have an intellectual discussion

Maurice and Gahley have a heated argument about... about... I don't think I want to know.

Gibbo talks to strangers on the Internet, doesn't he realise the dangers of that? He could get his identity stolen and then raped!

Gahley unwinds with some games whilst Beccy reads a trashy romance novel called "A magnetic attraction".

I think perhaps that someone forgot to flush...

Clearly drained from his ordeal, Gavin chooses not to go to the comfort of his own bed and decides to nap on the couch instead.

Beccy has an... "adult" dream? That's what happens when you read those kinds of books!

In the morning, Maurice, Phil and n0brien decide to chat about diamonds in Wilbo's room, when he's still sleeping in it.

A soon woken Wilbo drives a slightly sleepy Gibbo to drink by talking about how much he loves plants. Phil just tries to concentrate on his burned waffles.

Perhaps inspired by her dream, Beccy (In true Nik style) chats to their "maid".


Phil can't seem to understand why he isn't allowed to watch Gavin use the toilet...

Feeling rejected, Phil goes off to sleep on a sofa

Not to be outdone by Gavin and Phils outrageous sleeping styles, Maurice sleeps on a lounger outside.

Oh COME ON! That's not even a bed!

Umm... that's some platonic bed sharing there between Gahley and Gibbo.... right?

And on that bombshell, episode 2 draws to a close! Hope you enjoyed it as much as the first. Next time we will be observing the goings on in House 3! See you next time!   read

7:54 AM on 01.03.2011

The Dtoid Europe SIMulation Experiment: Episode One

Come one! Come all! Bare witness to an extravaganza the likes of which you have never seen before! Ok maybe that isn't true, but hello all the same.

I thought it would be a neato idea if I was to offer the fine and sexy people of Dtoid Europe the chance to take part in a silly little idea of mine, I would allow them to define their personalities and then I would use the information to create Sim versions of themselves in The Sims 3. I would then put them in a house, set the AI to automatic and record what happens.

The response was awesome! In the end I had too many Sims to put in one house, 24 in total. So I split them randomly into three groups of eight, and today we shall focus on the first group. Say hello to House 1!

From left to right:
Jamie (Me!)
Nik (Kneeling)

Well now that you know who everyone is, lets get to the fun stuff. Remember, I set the AI to automatic, everything that happened was computer controlled. Enjoy!

Things are off to an awkward start as Hollie decides to sit in Jamie's room all by herself

Nik has also chosen isolation, playing a riveting game of chess with himself. He didn't seem to be playing very well as he kept yelling...

Simon shows himself to be the most responsible (so far) by making everyone Mac n Cheese (yes that is Hollie standing in the room behind him, alone)

Meanwhile, Jordan was the first of the group to turn to drink...

...soon followed by almost everyone else. Pretty authentic Dtoid Europe so far!

Mikey decides that the best place to paint would be outside in the middle of the night

Ok, I had to highlight this, apparently Seto can have EXTREME NAPS! (Also yes, that is Hollie sitting alone in Seto's room)

The following morning, Jordan up bright and early. He spent most of the morning making other peoples beds for them.

Whilst Jamie was up even earlier and decided to play Videogames in his underwear before even having breakfast or anything (so realistic!)

Seto decides to use Simon's bathroom to have an EXTREME SHOWER until he is EXTREMELY CLEAN. That's really what the game actually called it. Also, DEM PIXELS.

Hollie woke up slightly later and headed straight for the bar. I think we might be witnessing a developing problem...

Andy woke up and went straight to Jordan's bed to relax, perhaps he can still feel Jordan's warmth?

And Simon decides to spend his waking hours reading a book called "The Adventures of Raymundo"

Jamie is impressed with Mikey's art, Mikey is impressed by Jamie's lack of clothing.

Hollie dances by herself whilst Jamie and Simon play Tag in the garden. This continued for over 2 hours.

Andy is such a dick... (Nik did NOT appreciate that!)

Yay! Videogames!

Hollie drinks alone... again... in the dark..

Jordan refuses to acknowledge that the house hired a Maid. He is a cleaning machine!

Speaking of the Maid, Nik decides to try chatting her up.


Mikey's completed painting, he sold it for $34.

Just hanging out in this one. :D

Andy sleeps and dreams of spacemen, Phil (making a cameo from house 2) takes a practically naked walk in the middle of the night for some reason.

Nothing wrong with this picture... Actually seconds after I took it, the little girl ran away screaming. I would have taken a picture but I was doubled over laughing.



And on that bombshell, the first edition of The Dtoid Europe SIMulation Experiment draws to a close! Next time we examine the goings on in House 2!

See ya next time!   read

11:10 AM on 10.06.2010

Dtoid UK: My Curse & My Cure

It would appear that I have somewhat of a curse hanging over my head when it comes to Destructoid meet ups.

For PAX 09, I bailed on the last day due to falling terribly ill, I still feel I made the right call but I still wonder what it would have been like if I had just went anyway. For Eurogamer 09 I couldnít get the time off work due to compulsory training that I didnít need and as it turned out, I never got anyway (gotta love working for a government department). So when I set my mind on FINALLY attending a Destructoid meet up, Eurogamer 10 would be the one and I would be there come hell or high water.

So it is the night before I make my way down to London. Itís about 1 am and Iím lying in bed pretty nervous about meeting a bunch of people off the internet all the way down in London, when suddenly the house phone goes. Thatís never a good sign.
It was my Uncle phoning to say that my Gran, who had been very ill for a long time, seemed to be at the end. My Dad went up to the care home to be with her in her final moment whilst I lay wide awake in bed, contemplating what the fuck I was going to do now. I felt selfish for still wanting to go to Eurogamer, but I didnít want to bail out of yet another meet up. I was pretty conflicted and it felt like no matter choice I made, I was being a prick to someone.

At around 5 in the morning, my Dad came home and told me my Gran had passed away peacefully in her sleep surrounded by loved ones. It was both comforting and sad at the same time. After a talk with my family, we all agreed that my Gran would have wanted me to still go to Eurogamer and have fun, plus the funeral wouldnít be till Monday at the earliest, so Iíd be back in plenty of time. So, still slightly unsure I was doing the right thing, I made my way to London.

Fucking hell did I ever make the right choice.

As I imagine is the same for most people who join Destructoid, Iím easily the geekiest out of my group of friends. I can sometimes feel pretty out of place when most of the culture here involves getting cripplingly drunk and yelling about football. It was wonderful to hang out with an amazing group of people who I have so much in common with. I loved the fact that when one of the incredibly sharply dressed queue Nazis yelled ďHALT!Ē and I proceeded to yell ďHAMMERZITE!Ē I knew nearly everyone would get the reference.

One of the oddest things about meeting people from Dtoid UK, was now normal it felt. After a brief introduction, everyone just sort of fell into a rhythm with each other as if we had known each other for years, even the people who had just joined prior to the meet up. Everyone was so warm, friendly and inviting that you couldnít help but feel like you belonged. As clichťd as it sounds, it felt like home.

I apologize now if I was somewhat distant or sometimes quiet, as I obviously had things on my mind, I tried my best not to let things get in the way of having the best time I could, but obviously emotions are tricky things.

Iíd like to thank a few people now, in reality Iíd like to thank everyone personally for just being awesome and helping me to have one of the best times of my life during what would have been a rather low point, but this blog is long enough so know I love you all!

Dan Gale: You Sir, are a legend. You waited in line everyday for us hostel guys to get our wristbands and never once complained. You are amazing, thank you so very, very much.

The Hostel Crew (Straight outta brompton): You guys were amazing. That walk thought London after the party was an adventure and a half. You made everything fun, even all the walking/queuing we had to do. It was all fun thanks to how awesome you guys are.

Hollie & Seto: You guys are awesome for having everyone over to your flat on the Friday night. One of my fondest memories (and one Iíll probably never forget) is at one point randomly in the night, I was standing in the kitchen looking out into the living room, just watching all of these amazing people just laugh and have an amazing time. I remember thinking to myself with a HUGE goofy smile on my face ďThis is it. Iím actually here. I did itĒ. It nearly broke my heart when it was time to leave the party. I honestly think I could have stayed there forever.

I'd like to thank everyone for the kind words they've said in the e-mailer/texts about my Gran, It's helped and been a source of strength for me during the funeral and stuff, for the record I hope that none of you ever have to be a coffin bearer, or at the very least you don't have to do it for a long, long time.

Iíd like to specifically thank Hollie again, just because she did such an amazing job at organizing everything (and just being fantastic in general). Perhaps ďJobĒ is the wrong word for it though. To me, ďJobĒ implies something you do for money, and itís fairly obvious Hollie does this, and everything she does at Destructoid, out of sheer passion. You are an amazing person and Iím privileged to have met you.

Iím privileged to have met all of you, Iím honoured to call you all my friends.

Also, cocks.   read

8:59 AM on 06.08.2010

Dtoid/Capcom Prize EPIC Unboxing!

I awoke this morning (9:17am to be precise!) to a loud banging, the kind of banging that can only be made when someone decides to ignore the letterbox and bang their fists against the door as if all of Hells minions were after them. I was not best pleased.

However, Imagine my surprise when I opened the door to find a stranger from a distant land had come to visit!

I quickly hurried him inside and showed him to the living room. For whatever reason he did not seem best pleased about his journey (he muttered something about it "being expensive as hell")

but he was my guest and I was going to cheer him up!

I decided to start of with some lovely tea and a chat

However this did not seem to perk him up! Whatever would I do? I did not want to be a bad host to my intercontinental guest! I would have to think of something else!

Perhaps he was bored? A little TV could solve that!

It didn't. So perhaps he would enjoy a dramatic reading of a good book?

Apparently he was not one for literature either! Not to be put off I thought perhaps he might be soothed by music... so I would play guitar for him!

... he was not impressed

Perhaps if I ply him with food and booze he will cheer up? I decided to try!


I was starting to get angry now...

WHAT?!? He didn't like Flame Grilled Steak flavoured McCoy's? The mightiest of all crisps? That was the last straw. I'm not proud to admit it, but I lashed out at him!

As I expected torrents of blood and innards to come flying out, I was surprised to find goodies inside!

A Monster Hunter Tri poster signed by everyone at the Dtoid/Capcom event!


I don't think this fella survived the trip, he is naught but bones! I will have to display him somewhere in honour of his memory!

I assume this says "Make your Wii/Wiimote look AWESOME" in Japanese.

Hey! Someone wrote all over this game!

A T-shirt with a man with a chainsaw on it! Suitable for all kinds of formal events like birthdays, weddings...



Wait, what was this at the bottom of the pile?

A Street Fighter IV snuggie! I would have to try this on later... ok I knew I wouldn't get away with that, so I decided to recreate the box art!

Ok and one more just to keep it sexy...

Why yes, I am single ladies!

Ok in all seriousness I'd like to thank Dtoid and Capcom for these awesome prizes! This is the first contest I've ever won (except for that pool contest I won in Spain, I totally whupped that English kid!)!

Thank you! :D   read

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