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Castle of Illusion Starring Micky Mouse: The Destructoid Review - Destructoid

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The Beloved Sega Genesis Classic Returns


As soon as Mickey Mouse realized that Minnie looked identical to himself apart from her eyelashes, clothing and effeminate posturing, he began to dress up like her at night and hump a full-length mirror he had laid down on the ground of his bedroom, kissing his dolled-up reflection while whispering, "Oh, Minnie, oh, oh, Minnie Mouse, I love you, I love you." 

Afterwards, cleaning the cold mucousy puddle off the mirror was an altogether morbid and sickening task, requiring Windex and wads of paper towels. Then he'd lean the mirror back up against he wall. Leaning, never affixing it there, because even in this guilty state of mind he knew he'd resort to humping the mirror again. Trying to abstain didn't help. It made his disease, as he saw it, worse. The longer he resisted the more sordid his mind became. 


Lots of Collectibles Make for Great Replay Value


Wandering the streets, Mickey's eyes lingered on every woman. He paid no heed to the men, unless they seemed dangerous. Mickey focussed on breasts, legs, asses, the usual.

But if he'd spent enough days without release the slightest bit of casual female nudity would send him into an altered biological state: a girl's nude hand at a cafe resting against her own naked neck could cause Micky Mouse's penis to lengthen and plumpen inside his red, white-buttoned shorts, and small wet dots of pre-ejaculate would soak through. Or even the smooth tops of feet visible when women wore ballet flats, exposed ankles when they wore capri pants; their smooth arms, and of course their pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty faces. Mickey Mouse felt horny all the time. 


Mickey Needs To Save His True Love--Again!


Mickey could hardly look Minnie in the eyes, so many bestial and dehumanizing acts had he performed on her maidenly body via the blackest imagineering. When he smoked marijuana and lay in the dark, his mental conjurations were as vivid as any actual memory, making his later sense of remorse all the more gripping and abhorrent. 


Mickey worries Minnie Knows How Sick His Thoughts Are


Now Minnie had been stolen by the witch Mizrabel. Mizrabel wanted to steal Minnie's beauty. It seemed to be one of those body-swap situations. Bouncing high into the air off an enchanted mushroom, Mickey idly wondered if Mizrabel did transfer her mind into Minnie's body whether Mizrabel would then let Mickey fuck her in Minnie's body. It could be good. 

But no, he must not heed his baser self. He resolved to purify his heart and focus on the labor at hand. He was, after all, the hero. 

He had a job to do.


A Nostalgic Adventure Awaits!


Castle of Illusion Starring Mickey Mouse
8/10





Jagger Gravning is a writer living in the Pacific Northwest with his wife, Riho. He is a Grand Jury Award winning filmmaker, a professional actor and a board member of SAG-AFTRA's Seattle branch. He co-hosts the Go For Rainbow Podcast on iTunes. He can be found on Twitter here:@GoForRainbow.



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