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Jackson Starburst's blog

2:15 PM on 06.21.2010

Another Microsoft E3 blog (sorry) Also Kevin Butler Facts

Hi person, how's being a person going? This is my second blog here at the world's best website. My first blog was fapped 16 times and topsauced because it was awesome (or because they were being nice to the new guy)

Alot of people were bemused after reading the blog though:
I got nothing. Sorry - Kraid
I disagree with practically everything you said in that blog - Electrium
Uh... - Cadtalfryn
You are the first person ever to suggest that I am a sexy saxophone - Roager[/i]

Obviously I wanted my second blog to be just as good. Unfortunately, I have no imagination, so after spending a few weeks trying to think of what to write I gave up trying and this is the result. My opinions of the big pre E3 conferences. I know you've seen millions of these, but who knows, maybe this will somehow be better than everyone else's.

Microsoft's Conference

These are my thought on the various games that were there

They existed

These are my thought on the various games that were there in more detail

Call of Duty- Look like Call of Duty, but with more Vietam
Metal Gear Rising- Cyber Ninja + Watermelons = MC2......also awesome
Gears of War 3- 4 player co-op, that's......................... 2 more players than Gears 2!
Halo Reach- Is it just me or does this game look more boring everytime I see it? I started of interested but...
Fable 3- And so the lord came down, and said "Let there be a Fable 3 trailer" and there was, and it looked pretty cool
ESPN- If you like sports you might enjoy this, if not there may be too much sports on it for you

Kinect Games
Kudo Tsunoda is here!!!
Video conferencing and menu browsing- Impressive technology, but it can't sharpen a frisby.
Kinectimals- I can confirm that the tiger is not racist
Kinect sports- Football without a controller! There is something similar to that outside my house, I call it football
Joy Ride- I does look like a joyous ride.... kind of... a bit
Your Shape- It's not bad
Your Shape (the Kinect game)- Actually quite impressive, I don't like this sort of thing though.
Dance Central- If you like dancing you might enjoy this, if not there may be too much dancing in it for you
Star Wars- Could be cool, probably isn't
Forza- Some people can ride a bike with no handlebars, but with Kinect, I can drive a car with no steering wheel

New Xbox Slim- It is smecsy

At the end of that I have 2 questions: Why wasn't Child of Eden shown?, What does the bottom of an avatar's shoe look like in 2010? Answers on a postcard please.

I'm bored (so bored I actually wrote this blog) so lets end with some

Kevin Butler Facts

- Kevin Butler taught Miyamoto how to make games
- Kevin Bulter has finished Mushihimesama-Futari, twice
- Kevin Butler once saw a dog
- Kevin Butler's amp goes to 12....... no wait that's his clock, sorry
- Kevin Butler has V.A.T.S built in to his face
- Kevin Butler is the real Optimus Prime
- Kevin Butler knows what a treadmill is

Blog End, Thank you for reading, you are a cool clarinet

So what did you think? Should I do more E3 blogs? Should I do something else? Should I fuck of and die and stop wasting your time with stupid blogs about E3? Type what you think in the comments, and I will read it, unless it's in French, I can't read French.   read

6:17 PM on 05.30.2010

Why Activision are the Best Publisher Ever and stuff

Oh hi, I didn't see you there. I still don't because this is the internet (unless you have a webcam, in which case i'm looking at you). Anyway i've been on Destructoid for a few weeks now and i've noticed that these blog type things are all awesome (well not all) so I decided to do one. I didn't know what to write though.
After thinking it over with much thought I think I thunk the answer. Instead of being original, I could write about the things that I've often seen in the C-blogs. Read on for words.

Are Games Art?
No. They are better than art, because they are fun

Look at this famous art

Now look at this famous game

Which looks more fun?

All the cool destructoid kids are doing it so so am I

Why Activision is the Best Publisher ever (this list goes to six)

1. Lots of games in the one franchise: Activision saw how much we loved Guitar Hero, so they made lots of them. They are deliberately similar because of how much we loved the 1st one

2. They didn't want Brutal Legend: Activision looked at the charts and saw the people of today don't like rock music, so instead of publishing Brutal Legend, they have a new game called Hip Hop legend starring 50cent coming June 2011

3. Modern Warfare 2 had glitches: By the time MW2 came out Infinity Ward had lost Activision billions and they knew it would have to be closed, so Activision put glitches in there to give the poor IW guys more work

4. They buy developers then close them: Activision saw how many development houses there were in the world and felt this was bad for the environment, so they are slowly buying them all one by one to save the penguins

5. Stimulus Package: Some people have complained that the Stimulus Package was overpriced, but remember it cost Activision a few thousand dollars to make, so they're actually selling it at a significant loss

6. They invented the FPS: Before CoD4 there were lots of games pretending to be FPS like Battlefield or Halo, but these games were infact Bejeweled clones masquerading as an FPS. CoD4 changed all this when it introduced new ideas like aiming, guns, grenades and buildings to the gaming industry

There you go, undeniable proof That Activision is the best publisher ever.

Final Fantasy 13 Review

This is an exact account of my 5 hours with the game.
Left stick forward
Battle: X,X,X,X,X,X,X,X,X,L1,X,X,X,X,X Victory
Left Stick forward
Cutscene: Vanille: Yeah, teamwork.
Lightning: Sanctum Cocoon Pulse Fal'cie, for Serah
Snow: I'm so freaking awesome, focus Purge Cie'th
Left stick forward


Also Vanille acts like a little girl, but she's taller than Hope (who acts like a teenager) and has breasts. WTF.

Thank you for reading. You are a sexy Saxaphone.   read

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