Being a gamer is tough. Not only do you have to save worlds and lives, but you also have to develop and maintain relationships…in an out of the digital realm. And no, having a bunch of Xbox Live and PSN friends does not count, unless of course you have met and spoken with them in real life.
I am not saying that all gamers are lock in loners who do nothing but game and have no concept of what it means to have a social life. But, being a gamer, I know how hard it can be to balance a relationship and maintain a passion for gaming. Though you may not agree with my insights, you can’t argue with my results.
There is a reason my bio says love life.
If you read my first blog, you know I recently graduated college, have a job that I love, and am set to be married to the woman I love within the coming year. And on top of all of that, I have some of the best friends a man can ask for. Yet, my journey to the happiness I experience nowadays was not an easy one. But, when I look back on it, I can take insights and information from it. That everyone can use…not just gamers.
I’ll start with friends. Since no man is complete without good friends.
Growing up, I was a closet nerd. I loved all types and gaming. Yet, I was surrounding by friends who did not share my interests. So when my friends came over I took my Dragon Ball Z seasons, my latest version of Pokémon, and my Magic the Gathering trading cards and hid them away. See, I knew these friends were not accepting of these “nerdish” items, and did not want to be judged for my interest. Looking back, I don’t know why I wasted my time with these people. If someone cannot accept you for what you enjoy, then how can you enjoy yourself around those people?
So what is the key to finding good friends?
A good friend is not something who has the exact same interests. A good friend is someone you trust, care about, and accepts you for who you are. The example of this would be the relationship between my best friend and I. My main interests are gaming, comics, and sports. My best friends interests are sports, sports, and sports. So yes we do have some similar interests, but my main interests could not be further from his. Does he enjoy a good Marvel movie? Well, who doesn’t? Is he going to read the comic attached to that movie? Absolutely not. Yet, even though our interests are different, when we are together it doesn’t matter. We can carry a conversation, share a laugh, and completely enjoy ourselves doing absolutely nothing. Find a friend who doesn’t give a shit about your interests and you have found a friend worth having.
However, I do have my gaming friends. These are the guys I spend a Friday night LANing Halo and Saturday night playing 5 stock Super Smash. Yet, even though we are a group of nerds, we would be friends without gaming. We go out to bars together, workout together, and live life together outside of gaming.
So what do I hope you learned about friends from the past two paragraphs? That a friend is someone who doesn’t share the same interest as you. A friend is someone you can still hang out with when those interests aren’t available. So if you’re a gamer who can only hang out with a “friend” of yours when you’re gaming. It might be time to take a step back and reevaluate the friendship.
So now it’s time to get down to brass tacks.
Gaming and Girlfriends.
Think you need this….eh
Growing up a gamer, I always thought I had to find a girl who loved games just as much as I did. And I am sure there are many gamers who feel this way right now. However, love doesn’t mean similar interests.
I met my fiancé during the Competitive Gaming Saga of my life. (if that statement confuses you, take a quick peek at my first blog.) This meant about 21+ hours of my week were dedicated to Halo and honing my craft. O and did I mention, she has no interest what so ever in comic books, gaming, or anything to do with the nerd culture. We started dating my Junior year of high school and this was the beginning of the decline in my gaming skill. There were no longer 21+ hours that could be dedicated to gaming. This was not because she stopped me from gaming. It was because I would rather spend time with her, than play Halo. It was this girl who forced me into the Real World Gaming saga of my life. And by forced, I mean she was better than competitive gaming to me. So, I changed my habits to maximize my time with her.
I will never regret that choice.
But, the one thing that told me this was the girl for me. Was the day I went full disclosure. For the first year of our relationship I hid my interests. I finally told her one day that I love comics, I am a huge gamer, and have interest in all things “nerdy”. Her answer…I don’t care. She had no interest in changing who I am, she loved me for me.
So what do I want you to take away from the story of my fiancé and I? Does the perfect partner for you have to have the same interests? I can’t say yes and I can’t say no. If you find yourself changing naturally due to love embrace it. If you find yourself changing because she demands it…run.
Again, every opinion above is based off my experience. If you have a question or different opinion, feel free to share it. As long as it’s a conversation and not an argument, I will be happy to converse. I promise the blogs will get funny and interesting. These frist two were stories I just had to share.