Not the top. Not the bottom. Just ten.

1. Mercenaries 2: "Oh No You Didn't"



The game, with its mixed reception, hardly does this spot justice. The gleeful, cash-toned rampage makes a terrific sale by itself, but the star of the show is that song. "Oh No You Didn't" is the catchiest tune to hit the internet since "Chocolate Rain", fusing gangsta-rap lyrics with glee-club vocals and a cheery piano recital. But, unlike most message board memes, the advertising company that wrote the song is making real, non-theoretical dollars from their hard work- the song has becoming a PA staple at NFL stadiums across the league. Way to go, Wojahn Bros.: You're the new Gary Glitter.

2. 989 Studios: "I Hate Mall Santas"



Angry clowns shaking down Santa Claus. How can you lose? 989 Studios made a mess of Twisted Metal, but this campaign was a winner, with Sweet Tooth and his band of midget mischief-makers kidnapping elves and blowing things up. It's a shame more weren't made, nor that 989 couldn't make better games- there may be no person more emblematic of what we love about video games than a psychopathically violent clown. Sweet Tooth: so much wasted potential.

3. Nintendo: "Wii Would Like To Play"



We gasped, we spit, we twisted ourselves into balloon animal shapes when, in May 2006, Nintendo revealed its simple, three-letter vision to the world: "Wii." Sony and Microsoft fanboys held pep rallies and mock funerals across the internet as Nintendo committed its grand comeback for a word used by potty-training two-year-olds. We prayed it was a joke, and that we'd see a restored, bad-assified "Revolution" at E3, but Reggie and the rest would only show us just how serious they were about their new vision of the video game business. We all know the rest of the story from there: the Wii took the gaming world by storm, smashed sales records, and introduced the joys of headshots, Goomba-stomping, and virtual sports to millions and millions of brand-new customers.

4. Sega: "Genesis Does What Nintendon't"



In 1990, Nintendo towered over the revived video game industry, having a ridden a robot and a plumber to worldwide prominence. The Big N was as hot as Michael Jackson at the turn of the 90's, and it ate competitors like the Atari 7800 and the Sega Master System for breakfast. Atari would fade from the console game without much of a fuss- but Sega had other plans.

From out of nowhere, Sega threw down the gauntlet. With a library of good-looking arcade ports, sports games, and celebrity-driven franchises, the Genesis took the fight right to Nintendo's doorstep, and kicked off the first true console war. Sega's sales didn't take off right away- it took a certain blue hedgehog to do that- but Genesis never let up, hammering the message home time after time, so by the time the Super NES arrived in late 1991, it found waiting a worthy competitor with legions of fans.

Playgrounds and elementary schools across the nation were thick with heated arguments between the black box and the grey box, and while Nintendo ultimately won the day, Sega left it with a grevious wound- the dreaded "kiddie" label that led to its downfall in the next console war.

5. Tekken 4: "Prepare to Die, Egg"



If you're reading this website, you've done something like this, no question. A good game commercial really just needs to remind us why we play games in the first place, and this little slice of Enter My Breakfast is no exception.

6. Gamespot: "The Magic Is Gone"



I'll leave criticism of Gamestop- and it's certainly deserved- to someone more qualified and entertaining than myself. (Oops! I can't! By some freak accident, WhistleBlowerZero's Youtube account is suspended. Very unsuspicious!) This rare, heartwarming moment between a player and his game gets its bittersweet message across plainly and charmingly- taking your games back doesn't mean you're a bad player, or it's a bad game- it's just time to move on. If only all breakups could be this understanding.

7. Link's Awakening: "Zelda Rap 2"



They tried it once, to unintentionally hilarious results- so when it came time to bring Link to the small screen, Nintendo saw fit to drop another set of fresh beats. Actual cinematography and an actual black guy help things, but we still get lines like this:

"Down with Zelda from the very start!
I got the the heart and smarts to play the part!
D-d-down with Zelda!
Peepin' through with an overhead view cause a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do so
I stay on track. Collect the facts. Never cut slack cause I always watch my back for Jacks... "

Truly, the early 90's were a dark and mysterious time.

8. Mortal Kombat: "Mortal Kombat!!"



Before Madden, before Halo, before GTA or anything else, there was one day video gamers everywhere circled on their calendars.

September 13, 1993. Mortal Monday.

Mortal Kombat had already broken ground once, bringing the joys of decapitation, electrocution, and amateur heart transplants to the arcade floor. It directly challenged the wisdom that rated-R violence had no place in video games- and we were all hooked. Kombat went quarter-to-quarter with the technically superior Street Fighter 2 with its bonecrushing hits and sadistically satisfying finishing moves, all to the abject horror of parents, teachers, and politicians nationwide.

And now, it was coming to your living room.

What did Midway really need to sell? All they had to do was make the call. Thus, that's all they did, in the best 15 seconds of any fifth-grader's life.

Hype over a home video game release was still a new concept in this day and age- most of the classics of the 8-bit era were discovered by gamers themselves, through trial and error and word of mouth. Midway, instead, saw fit to end the guessing, and launched a marketing blitz that would culminate in one wondrous day- Mortal Monday, 1993. Of course, the violence we got was neutered- gone entirely on the SNES, locked away on the Genesis ("ABACABB" was second only to the Konami code in playground prestige). But, every midnight opening and viral campaign today owes a little something to the day the violence came home.

9. Super Mario Bros. 3: "Global Mario"



Perhaps only this image can do justice to just how big Mario was in 1991. Just... just look at it. It's a thing of unimaginable beauty. There's nothing more that can be said. It's Mario's planet, we're just living in it.

10. Super Mario Land 2: "Obey Wario"



This one's a personal favorite. Unlike a certian giant turtle, this brand-new Mario villain had no problems getting all up in your craw. Character debuts don't come any stronger than this. This twisted, slimy version of our favorite plumber was trying to get us to turn our backs on ol' Red, and by golly, we weren't gonna stand for it. Wario was a relatively lifeless sprite in the actual game, but on the strength of this performance, we knew exactly the kind of scummy ne'er-do-well we were stomping into the ground- and damn, did it ever feel good. It's safe to say that without this psychotic grimace tattooed in gamers' minds, Wario would join Wart and Tatanga in the dust bin of also-ran Mario villains, rather than the star of two game series and a regular guest in sports games.

Just... just look at his face in the end. Have you ever seen anything so punchable?