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2:16 PM on 01.04.2013

DtoidUK DecNARP 2012

Decnarp 2012

Good morrow ladies, gentlemen and hyper-inteligent dragons!

Iím JJ and Iím here along with a couple of cohorts to tell you all about Dtoid UKís DecNARP 2012.

We got super drunk and fat. There are pictures. I touched people, they liked it. That is all.

Adam (Death by Lumber): The Award Winning Jamie Gibson arrived on Wednesday evening. Unfortunately, I was working and had to leave him to his own devices until...


I got in on the Friday morning, after a few stops for as much coffee and Ice Tea as is legally allowed to be sold (4,956,854.63 litres. Roughly.) and a train breakdown I had the joy of arriving at Adamís flat. Here I found a good man named Gibbo and we decided to do something which weíd never done before. We became the worst thing possible, tourists. We found Big Ben and The Houses of Parliament. There we posed at the gardens where ALL of the news is done and did unspeakable things to Winston Churchill.

We dropped by Buckingham Palace, were told not to give the Queen our number to have a good time and found some extremely friendly squirrels (SQUIRREL!). Although we failed to find a single furry hatted guard to cap our terrible tourist vibe.

We then found many street performers and wandered the Tate Modern (Did anybody else know how dreary art can get and not warn us?), before we made our way home. After much hugging/groping, Adam, Aidan (TheToiletDuck) and Craig (DarkAndroid) arrived to join us. Which resulted in even more groping.

We had ourselves an enchanting evening watching Power Rangers, eating Tattie scones, eating about five kilos of Square Sausage and all washed down with Vespers accidentally created without the very important addition of Lillet. We may be alcoholics. Christmas presents were opened, tears were shed, beds were improvised and BroTeam was watched.

We also made sure to make as many people jealous as we could and bodge as much planning into the weekend as possible, this ended up in dropping where we were and waking up fairly late the next morning/afternoon, I was last awake. Just in time to be presented with breakfast which was just visible through bleary eyes and the news of a hobbit on the horizon...


Saturday was the beginning of the true festivities. Early on we were joined by the ever adventurous Sam. After everyone had arisen and prepared for the day (caffeinated and washed) we left to bring our joy to the general public. First call of the day were the market stalls around London Bridge. Here we joined Nik, took advantage of the ludicrous amount of food stalls to enjoy breakfast and then swiftly moved onto mulled wine.

Taking the time to stroll along the river and enjoy each otherís company we ended up at yet more market stalls at South Bank. With an excellent view of the river and a veritable treasure trove of intrigues, there was much to keep us entertained. At this point Nik succumbed to his need to watch the Hobbit in Imax splendour and in his stead we collected three more beautiful faces. Two species of Jake (Watermanx and HammerTiem) and a lovable bundle of fun, whom we call Ash (No relation to the Pokťmon master), joined us as we explored the market stalls and came across delights such as wooden ties and glorious churros. An endearing interactive advertisement spawned the hashtag #wakeupmeowmeow which became the label for the weekendís activities.

Swiftly moving into a nearby pub, catching up and grabbing a bite to eat, evening plans were made and we moved to another pub where we met back up with Nik. With a large space on the top floor and occupied by a few people, whom we promptly cockblocked, we made ourselves comfortable. For several hours we enjoyed each othersí company and spread throughout the tables until closing times necessitated we left the establishment.

A lovely panorama of our takeover

As is the tradition, before returning to my flat, pizza was bought. The remaining evening was spent watching netflix and continuing the festivities. That is, until I was unable to continue enjoying the hilarity of Jackass 3 and collapsed into a beanbag. What happened hence is unknown to me. Perhaps for the better.

JJ: We need Alibis for the rest of the night...

Aidan (TheToiletDuck):

Sunday was the day of the big roast. Adam, being the awesome host he is, had it all planned out and we were set to have a traditional british roast with chicken, spuds and maybe the odd green thing. Now, as is normally the case, if you cook it, they will come and come they did. SeŠn (Justice), Wayne (The Approximation), Gavin (halfleft), Seb (AceFlibble) all managed to make it in for the festivities.

I decided to chip in with the cooking since Adam had done so much already and also because i get antsy if I see someone else in the kitchen. The meal was a big success (potatoes marinated in the soul of the chicken are awesome) but more importantly it was so good to have so many dtoid folk around. We chat all year round in the mailer and despite initially coming together over an interest in games theyíre often not the focal point of our meet ups. We are all invested in each others lives, as friends do, and thatís pretty damn cool even if it is a little soppy. Even Gavin, who we all secretly hate (except Ali D and JJ who donít keep it a secret).

As per british tradition we took time out to remember those that are no longer with us or at least some of those who couldnít make it that day. Jamie (TheYoungScot) was patched in from Scotland to give a special message of merry xmas (very creative), Mikey (of Lil Doodles fame, said hello after heíd woken up (at like 4pm, for shame) and we even managed to get a personalised showing off her LEGO collection (not a euphemism (JJ:BOOBIES ALL THE THINGS)) from Maya (katamayadamacy). We also took some time out of our busy schedule to wish our esteemed European Community manager (Beccy Caine) a merry xmas video. She apparently couldnít make it due to being a butt.

Rest of the day was spent drinking, beating everyone at SFIV (Because Iím awesome) and sitting with a food coma and laughing at Hatman because not only does he not understand portion control for food, bless his cotton socks, he doesnít understand you donít mix supermarket Margarita with Gin, Coke, beer, rum and whatever the hell else he could get his hands on. We watched him go from silly drunk man to wondering if heís going to hurl at any moment (a game we like to call Upchuckaroo).

Our very own human statue, Wayne.

The ever sexy SeŠn.

THAT WAS DECNARP 2012, YOUíRE ALL INVITED NEXT TIME! Bring your best drinking hand.   read

2:43 AM on 04.17.2010

Why is the soap on the gr-CRAP!!

Okay so here goes, thinkin' i should introduce myself instead of joining and continuing to lurk while worrying if i say anything if i'll die in a wave of flame.

My "About Me" hopefully does the basics but i wanna flesh myself out before i get attacked as being a very bad man. You can find that out a little later.

So, about a year ago I found this fantastic site full of game news, insanely inappropriate jokes, casual posts that didn't feel unnatural and comments that actually made me laugh my milk through my nose in public (oh god did it burn).............and that site mentioned destructoid.

Sorry I couldn't resist it's my sense of humour it's very much hit or miss.

Honestly, I really enjoyed finding a site which seemed really genuine and not a new carbon copy of every other group, reading some comments from people that seemed genuinely happy to speak to each other and to have a proper community. I had DToid set as my homepage within about an hour.

Don't get me wrong I still go to other more "flashy flashy" sites every once in a while, but I keep looking here for the most part because you guys update on everything even if it is completely insane. I guess i'm trying to say I love Destructoid. From the brutally honest reviews to the raving comments about sad walrus.

Hopefully, I'm not gonna feel like the dude who arrived at the party right as the booze is running out and everyones found a nice little group to themselves. I hope theres space for the idiot with the spongebob squarepants F.U.N song lyrics sitting next to his CoD case just incase the annoying kid logs on and calls him a noob.

So yeah my PSN is jjmccallum, my email and msn is [email protected] feel free to add me, creepy people are totally welcome as long as you reckon you can freak me out, I have a feeling i'll regret that but oh well it's done now. I'll answer just about any questions, if it's truthful or not, well that depends on what the question is.

Please, be gentle.

You can has a sammich for bothering to read my attempt to be accepted. :)   read

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