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You are Dumbass. Game Over.
JDevL | 1:49 AM on 08.28.2007 13 comments


Over the years, I've developed into a very methodical gamer when it comes to any game that has aspects of exploration. Games take me much longer than they should, but I get my money's worth. I try to get to know the boundaries of the game world in front of me and if it's engaging enough, I try to find every place I'm not supposed to be able to get to.

However, just once I'd like to play a game that punishes me for testing its boundaries. Not by glitches or crashing, but by actually catching me in the act and ending the game or making it impossible to complete a goal. I call it the Dumbass Law.


(Image edited from lifemetercomics.com)

I'll use a simple example from that game no one is talking about:

If I am dumb enough to repeatedly shoot the glass protecting Rapture from the ocean with frag grenades, the glass should give way and I should die a horrible and moist death.

I'd just like this unexpected easter egg in games that have obvious actions you shouldn't take.

Refuse to save the princess? You fail.
Intentionally blow up your radio link to HQ for the 17th time? You fail.
Shoot your squad leader in the face? You fail.
Forget the words to Wanted Dead or Alive? You fail and the game disc melts.

The only game that has come close to fighting back against me would be Eternal Darkness with its insanity tricks. I would intentionally get my sanity bar as high as it could go just to see what would happen, and the first time I thought it deleted my game, I was seconds away from throwing my controller through the screen.

Honestly, if a game was smart enough to react to moronic actions of the user without affecting the difficulty of the game, I'd find it endlessly entertaining. The developers could use it to set boundaries for the gamer to keep them focused on the experience, or they could do it just to be cruel and funny. It would become a Darwin security system for sophisticated games. Only the true dumbasses would become frustrated and stop playing, which is never a bad thing.



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12 comments | showing # 1 to 12

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s0lesurviv0r's Destructoid Blog
How about a boss instantly killing you when you ignore it's obvious weak spot?
s0lesurviv0r's Destructoid Blog
How about a boss instantly killing you when you ignore it's obvious weak spot?
s0lesurviv0r's Destructoid Blog
How about a boss instantly killing you when you ignore it's obvious weak spot?
s0lesurviv0r's Destructoid Blog
How about a boss instantly killing you when you ignore it's obvious weak spot?
JDevL's Destructoid Blog
Only if the weak spot beats you over the head with a giant rubber mallet first to get its point across.
s0lesurviv0r's Destructoid Blog
Crap! What the hell happened there??? sorry.
Coonskin05's Destructoid Blog
One of the things that disappointed me in BioShock was the part near the very beggining(its in the demo), where part of the plane crashes intothe glasshallway, and it starts to fill up with water, creating the illusion of panic that you need to get to the other side ASAP. But once I played it, and I decided, just for the hell of it, I would just stand there and drown, to see what it was like. Guess what? It won't let you drown. LAME.
Mxyzptlk's Destructoid Blog
In America's Army, you can get sent to prison if you shoot your Sergeant during training. There's also Mr. Resetti in Animal Crossing.
Das Inchworm's Destructoid Blog
yea but MR. Resetti never did anything...all hot air although i think he did do the fake game erase thing once...i prefer don more laid back.
JDevL's Destructoid Blog
Coonskin - I waited by that door next to the plane hoping it would burst. My panic turned to impatience.

Mr Resetti! Haha. Great example. Damn that annoying mole. I will say I laughed every time it happened to someone else though. And I definitely learned my lesson.
masterledz's Destructoid Blog
Unfortunately, games these days don't give you enough choices that you would consider as alternate actions. Instead, they force you to take a certain path. I like to call it the "Law of Fight or Flight" whereas a player is either given only a small set number of options (mostly 2 or less) or else face utter defeat.
Games like Oblivion do well to remedy this sort of gameplay. You may choose to rob, murder, and wreck general havoc on whatever you want to do, but you must face the consequences of doing so without having to sacrifice the fun factor of the game.
Tubatic's Destructoid Blog
I'm for this. King Hippo was the closest real implementation of the weak point clause of the Dumbass Law.

"I have a big mouth and a bandaid over my stomach. HOW MUCH MROE OBVIOUS CA I BE!!!!! HIPPO SMASH!!!!!!!!!!"

Also, Eternal Darkness was the shit.


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 about me

26... someone called me decrepit the other day.

Seriously though, we have to be the greatest gaming generation. Growing up with it, watching it scare the shit out of the public so many times. And finally over take all forms of other entertainment. My thirst for games and its culture never fades, only my time to consume it.



Mainly I pay attention to anything dealing with the growth of the gaming industry. It's about respect as an art and entertainment form at this point. I think I have a "violence in gaming" debate at least once every other day at this point. When I'm not on a soapbox, I'm pretty much staring at the next shiny and ridiculous object that I can find, pointing and laughing at it, looking around to see if anyone else sees what I see.

Right now, Rock Band is about the only game I play consistently. That and random XBLA games.

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