There's a lot sniping, hurt feelings, and bad blood going around on all sides and I feel I just need to get away for a bit. For the first time in a long time, I'm not having "fun" here and that bothers me. Maybe I can cool off from the South Carolina heat and come back with renewed energy, but right now I feel like Louie the guy who says his catchphrase over and over again. I'm tempted to dip my balls in it, but for my sanity, I shouldn't.
Vhee ve-a lest lefft oooor intrepeed herues, tvu seemeengly deefergent vurlds vere-a mure-a cunnected thun ieezeer cherecter cuoold beleeefe-a. In Pert 2, Shey und Fella deel veet zee felluoot zee oozeer hed oon zeeur “vurld” und try tu poot un ind tu zee ifeel thet bruooght zeem tugezeer. Pert 2 feels meeteeer despeete-a reooseeng a lut ooff zee beckgruoonds frum Pert 1 veet sume-a meenur chunges (Ispeceeelly oon Shey’s seede-a). Pert 1 ves iesy inuoogh tu pley oone-a seede-a ell zee vey thruoogh tu zee cumpleshun ooff its erc. Et furst glunce-a, Pert 2 luuks tu fulloo thet seme-a mechuneec, boot yuoo’ll qooeeckly reeleeze-a thet it’s better tu buoonce-a betveee zeem unteel zee geme-a reqooures thet dooreeng zee feenel steges ooff zee geme-a. Deeelugooe-a is ixcellent es elveys und zee geme-a dues hefe-a foon veet zee cuncept ooff dremeteec iruny. Zee eddeeshun ooff echeeefements gooeedes nooer pleyers tu perheps du theengs zeey nurmelly vuooldn't heerkeneeng beck tu zee oold schuul edfentoore-a geme-a tecteec ooff roobbeeng yuoor inture-a infentury oon iferytheeng und mekeeng soore-a yuoo esk ifery cherecter ifery pusseeble-a qooesshun. Bork Bork Bork!
My oonly mejur greepe-a fells intu zee Seeerra-isqooe-a poozzle-a deseegn vhere-a meessing un ooffff hund cumment dooreeng oone-a ooff muny cunferseshuns oor nut cleecking/nuteeng iferytheeng pusseeble-a cun leed tu froostreshun mooch leter in zee geme-a. It bruooght me-a beck tu useeng zee nute-a secshun fuoond in ell geme-a munooels (Hey – remember geme-a munooels????), boot oobffoosceteeng vhere-a thet inffurmeshun is oor nut heenting a poozzle-a sulooshun vuoold be-a needed moolteeple-a teemes veell irreetete-a a lut ooff peuple-a. Dreggeeng items tu zeeur ixpected terget steell tekes sume-a getteeng used tu und in a foo ceses leed tu ecceedently resterteeng a poozzle-a. Bork Bork Bork!
I esked thees dooreeng my Pert 1 refeeoo und it’s prubebly ieseeer tu unsver zee ooferercheeng qooesshun - ves it vurt beckeeng? Duooble-a Feene-a is respunseeble-a (und leekely zee deet ooff) zee greet gemeeng Keecksterter buum. It seemed leeke-a gemeen ves nefer gueeng tu be-a zee seme-a, boot lecklooster prudoocts, ifer-sheeffting ixpecteshuns, und a sloo ooff oozeer sneffoos frum insooeeng prujects incloodeeng flet oooot cuncelleshuns hefe-a mede-a cunsoomers leeke-a me-a very tu beck noo oor ixtremely prumeesing prujects. Zee beckgruoond ducoomentery, vheech Duooble-a Feene-a hes mede-a mure-a reedeely efeeeleble-a tu iferyune-a, ves vell vurt my teeme-a. Zee geme-a is guud und certeeenly better hundled es oone-a fooll pruject. I dun’t regret my infestment et ell. Bork Bork Bork!
Thanks again to the University of Texas for the Bork help!
So there’s been a kerfuffle over Pokémon Shuffle’s game mechanics. To get some answers, I reached out to my best friend’s uncle who TOTALLY works at Nintendo.
Q: So was the waiting/microtransactions a conscious decision by Nintendo?
A: Oh absolutely. I’m sure everyone remembers all the buzz we were getting after announcing the vitality sensor, but our research told us we needed to go farther if we wanted our consumer base to stay active. We started with the health warning pamphlets inside the game box, but who has time to read the freakin manual AMIRITE? Next we tried the throwing up the warnings in the game, remind everyone to take breaks after a few hours, etc. but our games were just too good to put down. Finally, we realized we had to be more proactive; we needed to cut gamers off ourselves. You will take a break when we say so! Sure, you could pay to get around those roadblocks, but in our view, we’re saving you from wasting that money on a Paunch Burger Dinner for Breakfast combo you gamers love so much.
Q: So what’s the next phase of the project?
A: It’s already happened! Just look how we’re handling Amiibos. Once we figured out how much people wanted these things, that’s when we created this whole scavenger hunt culture around them. “Oh you want the limited edition K.K. Slider, well get up and get out there!”
Q:Couldn’t someone just preorder?
/ten minutes pass
…HA HA hah huh… Excuse me, I need to catch my breath. I mean yes, you “could” preorder but you have as much chance of getting one as we do of going out of business.
Q: So what else does the future hold?
A: I can’t get into specifics now, but we’ve got big plans for the New 3DS XLi Esq.
So we are closing in on the one year anniversary of Huge. It’s been a controversial year since the original announcement to be sure. There have been some interestingresponses about the direction Dtoid is heading.
So for those who have opted in, do you feel like it was a worthwhile investment? What dream features or additions would you like to see added? (Answer: new cblog editor)
I personally don’t think I’ll subscribe for another year. If this had been an option say 2-3 years ago, it would be less of an issue just based on my feelings toward the site at that time. Plus, it is hard to feel like I’m getting value when you put Huge next to a semi-comparable Giant Bomb donor program. Just one old timers opinion. Feel free to chime in below or join the conversation in the forums. read
1. I do a crossword/jumble everyday I attribute some of my love of wordplay to completing those puzzles. You never know when you'll need to know what a wax covered Dutch cheese is or what Tokyo was named once. My grandmother would accuse my Dad and I of cheating on the jumble since we would get the final answer first and work backwards.
2. I own (and still use) a Zune Sure the headphone jack only spits things out to one earbud, but it's hard to give up the FUTURE OF MP3 PLAYERS
3. I love sports Growing up in the South, my first sport love is college football but I'll watch most anything. It's baseball season now which means it's BARVES season
(Hey BARVES fans in AL, SC, and NC (maybe others) - not sure if you noticed, but if you have the Dunkin Donuts app installed on your phone, you'll get a coupon for a free coffee when the BARVES win!)
4. I love beer If you follow me on twitter I'm sure you just love my Untappd updates. The SC beer scene is starting to blow up which has been great for me. If you can find Westbrook's Gose (NOW AVAILABLE IN CANS), snatch that up for one of the best summer beers. Plus Westbrook has a great sense of humor
5. You might have seen my brother in a commercial His most recent commercial was for GrubHub:
I asked him if he got to keep those portraits, but they were added in post.
6. This month, I will have been married for 10 years Of course this also means it will have been 5 years since Chad serenaded us on RetroforceGo!
7. I've created 3 joke alt accounts here on Dtoid Can y'all guess which ones?????????
8. I could snack on chips & salsa for the rest of my life No joke. If the extra bag of chips at your restaurant of choice is free, you can't pass that up.
9. I'm gunning for 100+ completed games this year My backlog is ridiculous. Luckily, the Completed Game Thread has been a great way for me to track what I do get done year after year. I'm still stuck on 38 so far, but I will do it somehow, someway.
10. I listen to way to many podcasts I was in college during the heyday of Napster which allowed me to have music as my vice du jour, but lately I haven't had the time or the interest to stay current. You kids today with your WUBWUB and autotune, back in my day it was guitars on guitars on guitars. To fill that void as I work, I've fallen down the podcast rabbit hole. I've mentioned before that Podtoid originally brought me here. Each morning I load up ol' Zunee with 8-9 hours of content and try not to burst out laughing listening to MBMBAM, Stop Podcasting Yourself, or any of the other wonderful Maxfun/Earwolf programs. read
Time once again for the unofficial Destructoid Puppy Bowl Preview. Last year’s pick of Aurora was looking good until she threw a crushing pick-6 near the end of the game.
Who will take the MVP title this year? Let’s look at the competition
Breed(s): Labrador Retriever/Terrier Mix
Fun Fact: Feels Labs get a bad rap about shedding
Isay Take: As much as Macklemore gets a bad rap about rap?? HA, TOPICAL! The size of a lab with the motor of a terrier could be the combination that pushes Abdiel to the top
Fun Fact: Favorite color is Raspberry.
Isay Take: There’s only one man who would dare give me the raspberry! Alvin needs to outthink his opponents to take the title
Breed(s): Labrador Retriever/Sato Mix
Fun Fact: Goes nuts for cat videos
Isay Take: Artemis might be distracted knowing that the Hallmark Channel is airing the Kitten Bowl at the same time. She needs to keep her focus on the game in order to stand a chance.
Fun Fact: Wants to follow the band moe. across the country
Isay Take: What’s the matter, Guster not touring this year?
Fun Fact: Has a crush on a fireman
Isay Take: Aurora needs to use her head and not her heart to SPOT the opportunities to score
Breed(s): Bernese Mountain Dog/Poodle Mix
Fun Fact: Thinks Mozart is overrated
Isay Take: Bach has the combination of brains and brawn that can help him HANDEL the competition
Breed(s): Boxer/Hound Mix
Fun Fact: Prefers Carrie Underwood's version of the Sunday Night Football theme
Isay Take: Bayla’s got the competition on their knees. Bayla can’t be begging (darlin’ please) if she wants to be the Cream of the competition
Breed(s): Labrador Retriever
Fun Fact: Plans to one day have a really important job serving as a guide dog
Isay Take: Benton needs to use that focus to find the end zone a few times. This is the perfect stage to show those skills.
Breed(s): American Eskimo
Fun Fact: One day wants to own his own dog house
Isay Take: A dog owning their own house??? Now I’ve heard everything. He may know 50 different words for snow, but the one word he needs to know for the Puppy Bowl is touchdown.
Breed(s): Poodle Mix
Fun Fact: Hope LA gets an NFL team soon
Isay Take: You can bring a team to LA, but you can’t make them go to the games. Coco needs that gogo to stand out from the field.
Fun Fact: Thinks fatherhood has mellowed Kanye
Isay Take: As long as he keeps moving North-South and less East-West, Cody should be right there in the mix
Breed(s): Papillon Mix
Fun Fact: Aspires to have hair like One Direction's "Harry Styles"
Isay Take: Like with Cody, the one direction Danny needs to be moving is toward the endzone, he should be fine.
Name: Dee Dee
Breed(s): Terrier Mix
Fun Fact: Believes the best movie kiss was Kate and Leonardo in "Titanic"
Isay Take: I have never seen Titanic from beginning to end. I’m quite proud of that. Dee Dee needs to become Tee Dee.
Breed(s): Pit Bull Mix
Fun Fact: Loves New Orleans Jazz
Isay Take: Delachaise (Della) needs to use those improvisational skills to bebop her way across the field. Hopefully, no scat as well.
Breed(s): Old English Sheepdog Mix
Fun Fact: Counting sheep automatically puts her to sleep
Isay Take: Talk about being in the wrong profession. If she can’t keep up with the more active pups, look for Ginger to throw in the towel early.
Breed(s): Great Pyrenees
Fun Fact: Thinks Seabiscuit is a fish-flavored dog treat
Isay Take: Needs to avoid the neigh sayers and horse around with his competition
Breed(s): Shih Tzu/Pekingese Mix
Fun Fact: Wants to go to this year's Kentucky Derby
Isay Take: Jilly?
Breed(s): Brittany Spaniel Mix
Fun Fact: Wants to catch a ride on one of those NASA Mars rovers
Isay Take: I know dogs like to chase cars, but this is ridiculous!! Laney just needs to make sure the competition is chasing her.
Breed(s): Bassett Hound
Fun Fact: Tries not to step on her own ears
Isay Take: Her low center of gravity should help take on the big hits, but Lily needs to stay on her feet if she wants to blossom on the field.
Breed(s): Poodle Mix
Fun Fact: Wants her paws on the Hollywood Walk of Fame
Isay Take: Look for Lucy to find the nearest camera and stay there until the end of the game. She looks to more focused on future endorsement deals than any prize.
Breed(s): Dachsund/Hound Mix
Fun Fact: Thinks long legs are overrated
Isay Take: Needs to channel all that energy and keep badgering her opponents throwing them off their game. Should be able to break a few tackles that can hopefully lead to some big plays.
Breed(s): Shih Tzu
Fun Fact: Wants One Direction and The Wanted to just get along
Isay Take: /Googles “One Direction and The Wanted Feud”
//Throws computer out the window
Breed(s): Pit Bull
Fun Fact: Adores the theatre, but always arrives late
Isay Take: While a slow start won’t necessarily keep Mila out of contention, if she finishes strong it may be what the judges remember most about the game.
Breed(s): Schnauzer/Terrier Mix
Fun Fact: Favorite cartoon is Marmaduke
Isay Take: Opie needs keep up the RUSH in order to make a SPLASH with the judges.
Breed(s): Labrador Retriever/Husky Mix
Fun Fact: Has an autograph from Uga, the University of Georgia mascot
Isay Take: Parker should be one of the biggest pups out there. If he can avoid getting caught up with the small breeds, he could easily overpower everyone.*
Breed(s): Havenese Mix
Fun Fact: Has been to Disney World 12 times
Isay Take: Judas Priest, 12 times?!?! Pong may get bored out there on the field at this rate
Breed(s): Shih Tzu/Brussells Griffon Mix
Fun Fact: Favorite director is Paul Feig
Isay Take: Poppy can’t be a Bridesmaid and wait for the action to come to her. Needs to bring the Heat to stand a chance with the bigger pups.
Fun Fact: Would never be caught dead in Burberry
Isay Take: Who would put clothes on a dog?
Breed(s): Shih Tzu/Chihuahua Mix
Fun Fact: Compares herself to another Georgia girl, Julia Roberts
Isay Take: Is that the toothy girl from Mystic Pizza?
Breed(s): Great Pyrenees
Fun Fact: Favorite actress is Melissa McCarthy
Isay Take: Looks like Shyla and Poppy may find a connection over film. Will they play nice with everyone else is a bigger question.
Breed(s): Yorkshire Terrier
Fun Fact: Hopes to spend his summers playing volleyball on Manhattan Beach
Isay Take: A dog playing volleyball??? Now I’ve heard everything!
Breed(s): Siberian Husky
Fun Fact: Thinks they should cut Miley Cyrus some slack
Isay Take: Suri’s size should help her Cruise past the competition.
Side note 1: Miley Cyrus…bless her heart.
Side note 2: GROSS
Breed(s): Italian Greyhound
Age: 12 weeks
Fun Fact: Wants to drink from a fountain in Rome
Isay Take: Likely to shock the other dogs by his speed, Taser could run circles around the field before anyone is able to react.
Breed(s): Pit Bull
Fun Fact: Knows what the Fox says
Isay Take: I saw that video…meh. Now Bad Lip Reading, you’re onto something there
Breed(s): Dachsund/Chihuahua Mix
Fun Fact: Hates all those Rocky sports clichés about Philadelphia
Isay Take: Ullie’s got to eat lightning and crap thunder if she wants to win. Also she’ll want whiz on her cheesesteak with onions and hot peppers (AND I WANT LUNCH)! She’s got a star behind her to cheer her to victory. Just who is it?
You guessed it, Frank Stallone
Name: Van Helsing
Breed(s): Bassett Hound
Fun Fact: Learned to waterski from a squirrel
Isay Take: A dog that can waterski??? Now I’ve heard everything. Like with Lily, Van Helsing needs to stay on his feet and strike through the heart of the defense.
Breed(s): Terrier Mix
Fun Fact: Dreams of walking the Appalachian Trail
Isay Take: The AT is roughly 2,200 miles. The Puppy Bowl certainly isn’t always a sprint, so Wyatt’s endurance training could pay off if he can stay in the entire game
Suri and Parker should tower over the competition, but even they might have enough to overcome Taser’s speed. If those 3 get distracted, look for smaller dogs like Mandy or Della to swoop in and steal the title.
About Isay Isay One of us since 2:08 PM on 02.13.2009
Isay Isay is a 34 year old gamer living in Columbia, SC. I cut my teeth on the early Sierra/Lucasarts adventure games and honed my skills on the Genesis. I'm a proud poppa of 2. You might already be aware of my style of PUN-ditry
Currently Playing PSP/PSV - Persona 4 Golden
PS3 - Telltale's Game of Thrones
What's in a name? So where does Isay Isay come from? Well to amuse myself, I name all my characters I say so whenever someone talks to them they sound like Foghorn Leghorn or what I thought English people sounded like when I was little. Needless to say, I'm easily amused.