Holy crap in a hat...just got back from a press sneak preview screening of MAX PAYNE and...and...wow. It's...it's so horrible!

I'm a huge fan of the games and this was just one of, if not THE worst video game adaptations I've EVER seen. It makes an Uwe Boll movie look ACCURATE.

It's like they looked at a character overlay of the game, grabbed the names, took the Aesir company name and the Valkyr drug, and wrote a movie around that, never playing the game.

Hell, they didn't even take ALL the characters...the mob element? GONE. Jack Lupino (the boss from the FIRST LEVEL) is the big bad here...well, excepting some dumb "twist". It's not film noir, either...it's just some badly done cop movie...I wouldn't even call it a "mystery" film.

Plus, and worst of all...THERE'S NO ACTION IN THIS MOVIE! All the cool shit you see in the trailer...the slow motion gun shots, Max capping fools...that's about a 2 minute trailer, yes? Well, THAT'S THE ONLY ACTION IN THE MOVIE. Those two minutes. And the movie is 100 minutes long.

Well, let's say you're not familiar with the games, you go into this fresh. There's a long boring set up that makes NO sense as they establish characters that don't DO anything (Mona Sax is a WHAT in this film? Seriously, who is she, what is she doing and why do I care? It's so ambiguous, you wonder why she's along, or helping Max at all) and the "plot" is so convoluted and dumb that you won't really give a shit anyway. You'll just wonder where the two minutes of action from the trailer is. Oh, there it is...spread out over the last 20 minutes of the film.

Just terrible. And the trailer made it look so good, too. So much for actually having a GOOD Video Game movie.

Admitedly, it's not the director's fault...I blame the writer. The movie LOOKS fine...it's just not MAX PAYNE.