Al Gore vs. Global Warming
In This Corner…
Al Gore
Age: 59
Height: 6’1”
Weight: Some one slide a scale under him quickly other wise I don’t know how to find this.
Reach: Theaters and DVDs to all loyal American movie goers.
Background: This former Vice President of the USA wielded a gavel to keep the rowdy congress in session from 1993-2001 but now only “Speaks the Truth”, his greatest power lately, collecting money to raise awareness of the growing Global Warming problem. His suit and tie keep him distanced from the common man but his Tennessee drawl brings us back again to look at him as that good ‘ol boy A.G. who grew up with dirt under his finger nails like the rest of us.

In This Corner:
Global Warming
Age: Infancy
Height: To the Heavens
Weight: Bearing down on the Earth
Reach: Tsunami’s in the Pacific to Hurricane’s in New Orleans to melting glaciers at the poles.
Background: Recent growing problems denied by some but are more apparent when lives are washed away with out a second thought gave rise to a global awareness of this behemoth. After hundreds to thousands suffered from the more obvious symptoms of the problem scientists are now focusing on glacier melting and a big ‘ol hole in the ozone that will eventually cause sun rays to vaporize us all. Not even Captain Planet or Gaya could stop this juggernaut. Can Al Gore be man enough to take on the task?

Total Rounds: 3

How it went Down: Al Gore came out strong bellowing out in his slight lisp using his “Speak the Truth” power all throughout each round. He tried to garner support around him and slow the problem but Global Warming brought its posse of greed, money and a combination of loose laws concerning pollution and a love for fossil fuel emissions. After round 2 Gore was only blowing hot air trying to use his finishing move for each blow. Gore tired to put Global Warming “In a Lock Box” but Global Warming only blew it to bits reaching out with the arms of its hurricanes. Realizing that money couldn’t bribe this problem away and greedy corporate chairmen turning deaf ears, Gore resorted to his trusty old gavel he wielded as Speaker of the House but realized it no longer holds the power he once had seven years ago. Global Warming swept in the third round bearing down on Gore like a lion on a gazelle using “Hurricane Force Winds” and “Chicken Skin Solar Ray” to burn and blow Gore’s dreams of a healthy environment to dust.

Finishing Blow: “Chicken Skin Solar Ray” used by Global Warming. Widening the hole in the ozone layer and placing it directly above its target, which is the whole earth, solar rays begin to cook the plant. Without the protection of the ozone layer and green house gasses trapping the heat energy on earth Gore’s epidermis was cooked to the same texture as those tasty KFC crispy chicken wings.

And the winner is… Global Warming by a knock out or a Tennessee cook out. Wash that down with some rising sea levels MmmMmm.