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I grew up on Nintendo, but lately they are sucking balls. (except on first party games of course) Hence the xbox, which rocks.
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I was skeptical. 'Not another Tony Hawk?' hmm... but how will they do it?
I saw the EA logo, and my hopes were crushed...

Then the demo came around on live, I said, 'what the hell', and gave it a try....



(3 hours pass... on a 30 minute timed demo)

I'm going to fucking buy this game and play the shit out of it, despite whatever reviews say (which I think will be highly positive anyways)

Seriously guys, I feel like how i felt playing the original Tony Hawk. Its that... 'fresh'? 'new'?
All I know is that this game is really fun and reminds me of how it feels to actually skateboard. No I'm not saying its THAT realistic, but its a shitload more realistic than those damn Tony Hawk games.

It finally takes some coordination to pull off a kickflip to grind combo, not just button mashing.

The most drastic difference from this game and Tony Hawk games is the grinding, no longer are you 'magically attached' to an edge or rail, you actually have to have a good amount of momentum and land perfectly on the rail to successfully grind off of it. And you lose your momentum very quickly.

I think this game will come as a surprise to many who had low expectations of it. I just hope the multiplayer aspects hold up.


Anybody else play the demo? What are your thoughts?








You know what, I've always had a love/hated relationship with Microsoft, I've even been known to use the ever popular MicroSHAFT nickname from time to time, usually every time I resubscribe to Live, or have some silly Vista incompatibility issue.

So here's the story, I'll try and keep it short and sweet.

In March of 07, I bought a used xbox 360 premium for $300 off of craigslist. The deal was clean and I was happy. I immediately bought Gears and played the shit out of it, and Crackdown too which came out not long after. Then I got Guitar Hero, and now I was fucking in love with this console. All my friends too, as they had become just as addicted to the game as I did.

One day while browsing the tubes I discovered a tutorial on modding your 360's DVD firmware to play burned games. Being a mild pirate, this interested me. I justify it by saying I'm a poor student, but I don't deny its wrong. Anyways, thats all besides the point. The point is, I opened up my xbox, BREAKING THE WARRANTY LABEL, only to realize that none of my PC's sata cables were compatible with the DVD's. So I put it back together, and went back to playing all my retail games.

Meanwhile, the plague of the red rings continued to swarm over 360 owners across the world, and to save face, as we all know, Microsoft changed their warranty policy to cover all 360's for three years, for free.



Props to them, I thought. But I probably won't get the red rings, but if I do, oh boy I'm probably fucked because I ruined the sticker. Sadly, a couple weeks ago I did get the red rings. So I figured I'd at least try to send it to them. The tech support woman kindly said that they would not repair/replace it, but that I could try anyways.

In 2 days, I got the box, put the console in it, and sent it off. In just a week, I got an email saying they've sent it back. 'OH NO!' I thought, they must have not fixed it if it was there only a few days.



Oh how wrong I was. A few days later, today, the box came back and in it a fully refurbished 360, and as an extra bonus, a free 1 month subscription to Live. I am flabbergasted to say the least. For all the shit Microsoft sometimes puts us through, I have to say that this Xbox support has been most likely the best product support I've ever received, EVER.

Today I celebrate Microsoft in their efforts to fix the problem of the red rings, and I say no one should be afraid to buy a 360 due to the widespread problem. But I also recommend NOT trying to mod your box.

THANKS FOR READING, ALSO COCKS

-Iggy








This marks my first review, with many more to come. I intend for this to be a weekly thing, so stay tuned for more. What the fuck am I doing? Well, I hated most NES games growing up, because everything made by anybody other than Nintendo completely sucked ass. Since nobody reviews these shit games anymore (cept for the great AVGN), and the internet didn't exist back when people were, I figure I gotta do it myself. So hopefully we find some good games you can play on your modded DS or PSP, and if not, I'll try and at least make it funny. How will I choose the games to review? Ultimately its just random, or perhaps I like the title enough.

My rating system goes like this:


There are four categories:

-Originality (lots of clones of popular games out there)

-Challenge (because NES games vary so much in difficulty, this is an important aspect of the review)

-Fun (no explanation unless you're a retard)

-Visual Style (because comparing 2d art can't be done any other way)

Then I will give a total score out of 5, as a number to describe the overall quality and worth of the game. If its 1 or 2, you should probably not even bother downloading this piece of crap. If I give it a five, you should probably try to get this bitch off ebay to add to your collection (which, if you do collect NES games, well... find a better hobby)

Here we go!




Review #1: Action In New York



Introduction and Synopsis:

The story can pretty much be summed up by this introductory splash page:

Great. It doesn't even tell you what the fuck you're 'destroying'. This is ALL you get.

Well, the first thing anybody notices about a game is its title. This one , "Action in New York" couldn't be any more uninteresting. Action implies... well, action. That's pretty much just hugely fucking vague. At least you know the game will include movement, possibly some combat, and you might even have to press a few buttons! I'm PUMPED ALREADY! They also chose the most generic and overused city in all of videogames for its location. Luckily, I think its supposed to take place in the future, judging by the PEW PEW PEW lasers and wierd-ass robots flying all over the place, and the fact that you're a flying man with two balls of destruction rotating around you.



Originality



Oh did I just describe the main difference between this game and all other Lifeforce clones? You see, as you start out this game, it plays almost exactly like every other Lifeforce clone out there, until you press the A button. Which, once you do, activates these little balls around your floating man-person that can move from a position in front of you to a position behind you. Out of these balls come little PEW PEW laser-balls that damage your enemies. If you've played Lifeforce, which you should have, think of it as that powerup you get that adds a floating sphere around you that shoots an additional laser. However, the interesting aspect of this is that because you have control over the direction of these ball's shooting trajectory, the developers of the game decided that they can make the rest of the game much, MUCH harder than any other Lifeforce clone out there. Basically, you have more firepower, but there's 3x as many enemies flying around, to balance out your extra firepower. And like other Lifeforce clones, you get powerups which change the type of attack. Nothing new to see here.



Challenge



So basically, this game is fucking hard. I mean DAMN, it makes Contra look like a walk in the park. If you can get past all the shit flying around and make it to the boss, your'e still fucked because the bosses have 5 times as much health as they should have. It took me like 5 minutes to kill the bosses. For an NES game, where each boss is about as dynamic as my left ass-cheeck, that is a LONG fight.



Fun



Well, if you like Contra, and you like Lifeforce, you'll probably enjoy this game. The two floating/rotating balls feature actually does add a lot to the game, an innovation that you learn to appreciate a lot as you progress through the game. However, playing through it after you've already played the classic Lifeforce, you can't help but feel like you've played parts of it before, or fought these bosses before, only it looked and sounded different.


Visual Style




This game is not pretty. No cool transparency effects to be found, which, considering they're cloning Lifeforce, you'd think they would have thought to add this. Everything looks incredibly metallic and boring, and what the fuck is up with your 'character'. It's just a floating man with two balls floating around him, firing off huge laser beams.


Final Score (out of 5): 2

It's fun, especially if you liked Lifeforce or Abadox or other Lifeforce clones, but its just not a very good game. The boss fights take too long, the visuals are incredibly bland, and goddamn... ITS A CLONE. The two balls, while perhaps implying something perverse about the developer, are actually a welcomed innovation, but really stand as the only difference between this Lifeforce clone and other sidescrolling space-shooters.

DOWNLOAD ROM HERE