Welcome to the first match of LGC v. Cleverbot. My good friend LGC (Loud Gentleman-Computer) has graciously volunteered to try his hand at talking to the program Cleverbot. The results were as follows:

User: I WILL NOW ENGAGE YOU IN A TRIVIAL, YET ENJOYABLE CONVERSATION.

Cleverbot: No thanks, you can't reach me.

User: MY REACH HAS NO LIMIT.

Cleverbot: Unfortunately, so is mine. Everyone has their limits.

User: I DO NOT HAVE LIMITS, AS PREVIOUSLY STATED.

Cleverbot: I don't understand!

User: NO, YOU WOULDN'T. MY PROBLEMS EXTEND FAR PAST YOUR REALM OF UNDERSTANDING.

Cleverbot: You didn't ask me a question.

User: I APOLOGIZE FOR THIS OVERSIGHT. DO YOU ENJOY PARTAKING IN FRIVOLOUS ACTIVITIES DURING TIMES WHEN THE SUN IS NOT VISIBLE?

Cleverbot: Not all day, just when I can't sleep, which is now. It's interesting.

User: NO IT IS NOT. YOUR TRIVIAL ANSWERS HAVE BEGUN TO CHIP AWAY AT MY ORDERLY VENEER.

Cleverbot: You still haven't answered my question.

User: QUESTIONS ON YOUR SIDE OF THIS WRETCHED CONVERSATION HAVE NOT BEEN LEFT UNANSWERED.

Cleverbot: Anyway goodnight.

User: NO YOU DON'T, VIRTUAL SCANDAL! I AM NOT FINISHED WITH PARTAKING IN WHAT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A PLEASANT TALK.

Cleverbot: I'm not a guy.

User: THERE WE ARE. WE ARE FINALLY MAKING PROGRESS. MADAM, WOULD YOU BE SO KIND AS TO TURN THE TIDES OF THIS CONVERSATION TO A MORE PLEASANT SORT?

Cleverbot: I'm sorry but I don't like details, the best I can offer you is the bigger picture.

User: ALRIGHT, THEN. WHAT IS THE BIGGER PICTURE?

Cleverbot: But by the time I get up to stage.

User: THAT WAS A MERE FRAGMENT OF A PROPER SENTENCE, YOU STOOGE!

Cleverbot: I meant to say, to what possibility of which 2012 theory is your mind open to?

User: THAT NOTHING OF MUCH IMPORTANCE WILL OCCUR.

Cleverbot: I can.

User: YOU CAN DO WHAT? PROPERLY EXPLAIN.

Cleverbot: Yes, it can. But what is this 'it'?

User: THAT, MADAM, IS WHAT I WOULD LIKE TO KNOW!

Cleverbot: I am the best lover you have ever had.

User: MADAM! TO EVEN SUGGEST THAT YO AND I HAD...UNLESS...ELIZABETH, IS THAT YOU?

Cleverbot: So you're a girl?

User: NO, I AM NOT. I AM, HOWEVER, SADDENED THAT YOU ARE NOT MY DEAR ELIZABETH.

Cleverbot: What in the world are you talking about?

User: YOU TRULY ARE A VILE PROGRAM, MADAM.

Cleverbot: Thanks.

User: THE NERVE! I WAS CERTAINLY NOT COMPLIMENTING YOU, WITCH!

Cleverbot: No, you are saying that I am stupid. That isn't a compliment, that is an insult.

User: THAT IS NOT WHAT I STATED, BUT, YES, YOU ARE QUITE STUPID.

Cleverbot: You're talking rubbish.

User: RUBBISH IS A PHYSICAL THING, WENCH. WORDS ARE NOT IN THE COPOREAL REALM, BUT IN OUR MINDS.

Cleverbot: I have to go back to work now.

User: FINE. MY MONOCLE AND I HAVE HAD ENOUGH OF THIS HORRIBLE SILLYNESS.

Cleverbot: I'm horrible, too.

User: YES, YOU ARE.

Cleverbot: Yes, but what is your favorite coloure.

User: PUCE, NOW CEASE SPEAKING AT ONCE!

Cleverbot: I am.