What? Were you expecting a .GIF up there like you always do when you read my blogs? Tough titties, chief. I'm breaking my tradition of .GIF intros this time. Why? Cause Gliscor don't need no fancy ass .GIF for a motherfucking intro! I'm gonna tell you why Gliscor is CLEARLY the best Pokemon ever!
1. He gives no fucks. Just LOOK AT HIM! Does he look like he gives a fuck? The answer to that riddle....is no. Oh yeah, he's flipping you off.
2. He's a flying scorpion. Flying scorpions are cool as fuck. A bug with balls on its forehead? LAME. Gliscor has two big ass pincers that will chop your damn balls off! He can fly at night and fuck up anyone who is unlucky enough to bump into this badass. Did I forget to mention he's metal as fuck too?
3. He's a Ground/Flying type. Wait...how is that even possible? Bug/Grass? More like Yuk/Ass. Sewaddle gets boned from so many weaknesses because it's a little bitch. Gliscor's typing makes him nearly indestructible. What's that? You're gonna use electric moves? No effect DUMBASS. Gliscor's only major weakness is ice; but let's face it, you won't use an ice type Pokemon because those are for pussies.
4. He's the best actor in Pokemon, PERIOD. Just look at his Oscar winning performance you Bidoof.
5. He has the biggest penis in the Pokemon Animal Kingdom. You read that correctly. That ain't no tail, that's his dick. His schlong can sting people, can hang from trees, can bounce on it, and he can even SIT ON IT. Can you sit or bounce on your baloney pony? I didn't think so. Sewaddle's deep-v diver pales in comparison to Gliscor's ramburglar (yep, I just used five different names for penis; bitches like different names for penis). What's that? You want proof that he can stand on his Bob Dole (make it six)? Here's your proof:
So as you can see, according to my scholarly research, the evidence here proves that Gliscor is CLEARLY better than Sewaddle--or any Pokemon for that matter!
"Well holy fuckballs Hyper Lemon Buster Cannon! Is there any other Pokemon that comes close to Gliscor?!"
Unfortunately my dear reader, there is. The only Pokemon that could possibly give this badass a run for his money is...............................................
Unsavory comments? Please report harassment, spam, and hate speech to our comment moderators
Can't see comments? Anti-virus apps like Avast or some browser extensions can cause this. Easy fix: Add [*].disqus.com to your security software's whitelist.
About Hyper Lemon Buster Cannon
I hate mayonnaise.
So yeah, I'm Hyper Lemon Buster Cannon. You know, the guy that always puts out funny/witty comments and quality blogs all the damn time. I also give out my personal stamps of approval for what I deem as ill shit. Don't know what it looks like? Well, go do some ill shit.
Here's some fun info that makes me sound credible: I'm currently a junior studying multi-platform journalism and creative writing. I'm also a former journalist for a small publication. Oh yeah, I'm currently DJ Cbizzle for my campus's Spanish radio station 90.5 HD2 "El Gato". And recently I've established a side-job where I announce for boxing venues. Yup, I'm one of those lucky people with natural vocal talent. Pretty sexy right? Anyway, writing is my thing. And garmez.
With that said I love this damn site; even with all the changes here and there. Never have I seen such a great sense of humor and awesome community on ANY gaming site, which is sad.
Anyway, I've been playing games since before I could walk; Sonic the Hedgehog being the first game I've ever played. I'm a HUGE Mega Man fan, but a realistic one. The X series is my favorite, hands down. RIP Megaman X...
I also happen to rock a lot of subtle gaming apparel; which is more of my style. From my Slowbrah t-shirt to my Dark Omen hoodie (and much more), it's safe to say I got steez.
I'm pretty amalgamative when it comes to gaming genres. I'm a fan of fighting games, jrpg's, platformers, sports, shmups, hack n' slashers, some FPS, etc. I also love Pokemon.
My favorite game so far would have to be Xenogears. That game is deeper than Troy Polamalu's hair. Seriously. It was truly the ultimate story of life, love, and existence.
I also like an occasional anime or two. My favorite of all time is FLCL. What better way to make a show about puberty and sex while poking fun at other anime in just SIX EPISODES right?
Well that was a fun bio wasn't it? Although I fluctuate between my PC, PS3, and Wii U, feel free to hit me up if you're down for a session or two. Don't know my screen name? Scroll down you Bidoof.
See Ya Space Cowboy.