So yeah, I'm Hyper Lemon Buster Cannon. You know, the guy that always puts out funny/witty comments on articles all the damn time.
Here's some fun info that makes me sound credible: I'm currently a junior studying print journalism and creative writing. I'm also a staff writer for The Houstonian (my beat is Internet Culture/Tech). Yup, writing's my thing. And garmez.
With that said, I love this damn site. Even with all the changes here and there. Never have I seen such a great sense of humor on ANY gaming site, which is sad.
Anyway, I've been playing games since before I could walk; Sonic the Hedgehog being the first game I've ever played. I'm a HUGE Mega Man fan, but I'm not the bitchy-complainy type that I keep seeing so much of. The X series is my favorite, hands down.
I'm a fan of fighting games, jrpg's, platformers, shmups, hack n' slashers, etc.
My favorite game so far would have to be Xenogears. That game is deeper than Troy Polamalu's hair. Seriously. It was truly the ultimate story of life, love, and existence.
I game on my PS3, PC, and 3DS by the way.
I also like an occasional anime or two. My favorite of all time is FLCL. What better way to make a show about puberty and sex while poking fun at other anime in just SIX EPISODES right?
Well, that was a fun bio wasn't it? Please welcome me with open arms! Or else I'll have to PUT THE GUNZ AWN!!
Ahh...yes! Can you feel the minty freshness of something NEW for once? I hope so, cause I'm going to knock your balls out of the park!
"Ka-kiiing! He who conquers the left side conquers the world, chief."
This blog is going to be about--
"NO DR. DOOM! This is not about YOU!"
"Fuut daiv...." :(
So what the hell is this about, you ponder? Well, let me answer your question with a question: "What do Akuma, Rufus, Yun, Vergil, and Dr. Doom all have in common?"
DIVEKICKS MAN! THOSE FUCKING.....DIVEKICKS! ARRRRGGHHH!!!!
John Goodman's disapproval of divekicks.
This blog is about Divekick, the "garmody"! (Yeah, I just fused the words game and parody. Bitches like fused words.)
So a buddy of mine from North Texas University messaged me about it on Facebook a few days ago, saying it should be in EVO and what-not, so it obviously perked my ears. And then he sent me this:
Sweet Ghandi's tits! This is actually a GAME?! Well, despite that it's a parody of a godlike skill in any fighting game, it apparently seems legit. So this led me to do further research about divekicks, and why they're so damn GOOD! I mean, there's a garmody about it after all!
So, how good are divekicks you ask? Let's just say you can tell the difference from a "scrub" Yun from a "pro" Yun just from the usage of divekicks in Third Strike and SS4:AE. That, or just play anyone online in Mahvel and get stuffed like a virgin on prom night by a pro Dr. Doom.
Well, why use divekicks? Well, I don't like getting super technical about frames and shit, so I'll keep it simple. They can be a great tool to get in on your opponent while dealing damage. And if timed correctly with a good combo, mix-up, or cross-up, it can literally DESTROY keep-away characters such as Yukiko, Dormammu, and Dhalism. Overall, they're fast, have good priority, and are more-less safe on block, depending on when and how you use it.
For example, Rufus's Messiah Kick is godlike in every way. It's fast, recovers INSTANTLY on the ground, and is always safe on block.
MOTHER OF GOD....
Yeah, I can't tell you how many foes Justin Wong butt-slammed using that move. It's insane.
So I came to the conclusion that there have been a lot of people complaining about the godlike properties of divekicks recently. I mean, there has to be if a garmody (I used it again! Buahaha!) is being made because of it. And let's face it, you know it's bad when it gets that far. (Psst, I think anything that's controversial should be made into a garmody!)
As for me, I don't have a problem with divekicks (I can Gief my way through it). I also think the garmody is hilarious! I don't care if garmez journalists say it's stupid, because it's SUPPOSED to be! It IS a joke after all.
So, what do you fellow fapsters think about the garmody or divekicks in general? Do you think it should be featured at EVO? Should divekicks be banned in Street Fighter V (some people say it should)?
Well that was a FRESH blog wasn't it? Pat your good ol' self on the back and say "I'm awesome!", because you deserve it! YEAH! Feels good huh?!
See ya Space Cowboy.
HYPER LEMON BUSTER CANNON'S WITTY COMMENT CHALLENGE OF THE DAY!
Your mother walks in on you reading and she sees this! Shit! What do you do?! Comment your next action below!