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HunterWolfe avatar 12:17 PM on 07.25.2014  (server time)
Fashion Show Friday: Ranking the Best Assassin's Creed Outfits

Hey Dtoiders! Every week, I'll be hosting a fashion show filled with fun and farce where I rank the Top 10 outfits from your favorite video game franchises. This week, I give my attention to the 10 coolest costumes from the Assassin's Creed series.

If you have suggestions for future fashion shows, let me know in the comments below!

Thirsting for blood? Act the part with our cannibalistic Animal Spirit outfit – guaranteed to instill fear into even the deadliest of your foes. This design harkens back to mankind’s primal nature; with space to dangle the bones of your enemies in front of your crotch, you will command the pack as its formidable and imposing leader, while also opening the door for a plethora of boner jokes.                                                                                                                                   

Searching for the perfect seafaring attire? Look no further! Nothing commands respect on the high seas like diamond-checkered cuffs and fluffy cotton long johns. And what could be more suitable that our ergonomic penny loafers? The perfect pair for the practicing parkourist.                                                                                                        

The latest addition to our Colonial England Collection is this style modeled by none other than Ratonhnhaké:ton himself. Want to join the Assassins? Nothing screams “stealth” better than this baby. Nope. Nothing conspicuous here! This motley assortment is guaranteed to help you blend right into colonial America – money back guaranteed.                                                                             

The latest style in our Kenway Collection introduces a chic, black robe marked with the dreaded emblem of pillagers, plunderers, and pirates alike. Black is the perfect color to be sporting out in the hot Caribbean sun; become the master of the sea AND heat exhaustion with this beloved design.                                                                                                                                    

Embrace your inner drag queen with this exotic addition to your personal Kenway Collection! In this assortment of endangered animal pelts and form-fitting brown leather, you’ll be walking the plank with pride.                                                                   


Our Shark Hunter selection seeks to appease a new generation of hipsters. Forget the drab, hooded robes of yore; combine our assemblage with your colored bandanna of preference! Color preferences range from These-blood-stains-come-from-the-Templar-I-just-murdered-White to I-just-got-frisky-with-a-courtesan-purple.                                                                            

Stand aside boys (unless you’re into this sort of thing), and parade this chiq dress in front of all your friends. Only in this special line by Aveline de Grandpré can you be both elegant AND deadly. (Note: Lethal blow dart umbrella sold separately.)                                                                                                                                                         

Here, folks, we have the design that started it all, courtesy of Al Mualim himself. Brown, leather accessory pouches accent the plain white robes. Don’t they just scream, “Slather me in the the blood of my enemies!”                                                                                                               

Guaranteed to make you poor AND blind, the Mayan Armor design stands leagues above its Assassin uniform predecessors. The gold-plate loincloth, obscured from view in this picture, is as chaffing-proof as the armor is bullet proof. (Disclaimer: Abstergo Design is not accountable for loss of life resulting from swimming IRL.)                                                                                                                                                                     

Coming exclusively this Fall as part of our Italia line, laugh in the face of your enemies as the Harlequin – you won’t be able to do otherwise! Our face mask is seriously demented, and if your enemies aren't laughing at the absurd jingle bells hanging from your hat, it’s probably because you’re murdering them… with a smile.                                    


What Assassin's Creed costumes are your favorite? What series would you like me to rank next? Let me know in the Comments below!

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