hot  /  reviews  /  videos  /  cblogs  /  qposts


HoodedMiracle's blog

11:04 AM on 07.15.2010

I WILL GET THIS SHIRT (also, this isn't a double post)(shortblog?)

Best shirt ever, or BESTEST shirt ever?

Destructoid, get me one.

Get me one of these shirts.

I will give you access to my bank account and credit card, if required, just get me one in perfect condition.

If you get a second one signed by any developers, I'll put your logo on my forehead.

I mean all of this.   read

5:56 PM on 07.14.2010

Guild Wars 2 is now officially the greatest MMO ever (yes, yes, better than WoW)

Reading is fun!

tl:dr Rangers can train sharks.

Train. Sharks.

The bitey things with a week dedicated to them.

Unless Cataclysm does it, which I sort of doubt, any argument made for World of Warcraft, or any other MMO, being better than GW2 is void.

Also, this better be on shark week, Discovery.   read

4:09 PM on 07.11.2010

I had a weeeeiird dream last night...(NVGR)(Hey, I'm actually using tags right!)

I dreamed I double-posted in the CBlogs. Then it became a nightmare. Did I use then in the right way? I don't confuse 'to' and 'too' but 'then' or 'than' keep getting tossed around like an African orphan to white celebrities.

Wait, the dream. Right.

Anyway, I double posted. Than everyone planned to kill me. It got like MadWorld, but with color and the main character dies. By a gangrape.

Well, it's better than my childhood nightmares involving Jafar from Aladdin and when he turned into a snake. Is it pedophilia if you remember a dream where you get raped as a child?

So, anyone have any dreams or nightmares based on Dtoid? It'll be like a campfire story time thing, except instead of smore's we have keyboards and a lack of fire.


9:55 PM on 06.21.2010

Official Gorillaz Plastic Beach music video 'On Melancholy Hill' released

The good news is, the real Noodle is back! The bad news is that she's not happy anymore.

The good news is that they found Plastic Beach! The bad news is that the Boogieman is there, along with some gigantic thing.

The good news is Russel is back! The bad news is that he's the size of two Godzilla's.

Cameo appearances, excellent animation, and confusing symbolism abound!   read

5:16 PM on 06.16.2010

This E3 sucked.

Pictured: My face during the first day of E3, and likely the rest of it.

Okay, so Microsoft gives us the Wii without the remote and a fake family fake dancing to what looks like a fake game, Nintendo will rob me blind with games I want, and Sony had nothing on the only game I was interested in (The Last Guardian.)

But no, this isn't about their shortcomings. I'm talking about this:

I was reading the E3 news while listening to that on the TV while my brother was watching the World Cup. Do you know how much I never want to go to Africa now? A whole lot.

Pictured: My reasoning.

Now go your entire day listening to that. Goddammit.   read

7:20 PM on 06.02.2010

Man kills kitten over... Wait, hold up, a kitten?

Basically, the kitten unplugged the console by accident. His response?

He threw the kitten into a wall. In front of his girlfriend's children.

Now, I know games can make people angry. Hell, Demon's Souls made me ragequit on numerous occasions.

But a kitten? Seriously?

You couldn't have given it to the wife, put it on your bed, taken a break?

I mean, why would you want to hurt a kitten?

Not pictured: A wall and children.

Also, don't forget to look at the comments in the article. Be grateful this isn't us. Yet.   read

8:57 PM on 05.24.2010

I have a confession to make: I did not enjoy Super Mario Galaxy.

Okay, life-story time. My first game was a Kirby game for the original gameboy. It involved paddles, like pong, but I don't remember the name of it. I know you couldn't save, which sucked. Moving on from that, I began playing Mario games. I played them with my brother. I played them with my grandma. MY GODDAMN GRANDMA. She's awesome. I loved Super Mario 64, but I never beat it. (Try explaining to a stupid 10-year-old with Assburgers that the giant eel won't kill you through the TV. Scared me shitless.) My favorite Mario game is, for some odd reason, Super Mario Sunshine. (Maybe because I freaking love bright environments that don't strain your eyes?)

Simply put, Mario has the most fun games ever. (Of course, excluding Noby Noby Boy.)

Yet, things started going wrong around the release of New Super Mario Bros. I loved the gameplay and the graphics and the sound, none of that was wrong. It was the save system. I despised it. It was on the DS, it had the word "NEW" in the freaking title, yet you couldn't save wherever you wanted to in the overworld? What?

Anyway, moving on. Super Mario Galaxy was a game I HUGELY anticipated. I played a demo and the controls were, to me, unbelievable. Exactly how I wanted it to control, like usual for Mario games. Spinning, jumping, just running around; perfection. The graphics were better than most PS3/360 games due to the style. Soft dark's against bright brights, sort of like an hour after the sun set. Mario was still full of energy, and even the story was above average for a Nintendo game, with cute illustrations and a touching tale beyond that.

So, you may ask, why did I not enjoy it?

The only explanation I have, acceptable or not, is that I didn't have fun.

By no means is this the game's fault. Every planet was different, making me want to keep going to see what was next. Finding Luigi always made me happy when I finally got him out of whatever mess he was in. And Rosalina? Damn fine woman. So how could I not have fun when this game is so full of energy?

Because, you see, games are no longer about fun. They're about reward.

Take Lost Planet 2, Modern Warfare 2, or Demon's Souls. Are they fun? Unlike Mario games, only sometimes are they fun. When you're losing in Modern Warfare 2, you are not going to have fun. You will keep dying because someone is killing you, making it more difficult for you to kill someone else and have fun yourself. Lost Planet 2 frustrates when you keep getting knocked over by a monster and get prizes you don't want. Demon's Souls, an incredible game, isn't fun. It is extremely gratifying, but it isn't fun. When you try and do something even remotely fun, you get stabbed in every orifice possible, and then end up where you started, only worse.

So why play games that aren't fun? Because, no matter what, you get reward, even if you suck.

Maybe games can't be fun anymore? Look at any other Nintendo developed game in recent years. The Legend of Zelda, Super Smash Bros. Brawl, Wii Fit, Wii Sports, Wii Music. All of these games are fun, in one way or another. But, to me, they seem a step backward, while to many others (casuals, you may say), they're a step forward. Twilight Princess was incredible. The graphics, the music, the cinematics. Yet, I despised it. Maybe it was because of Okami, but I didn't feel like slogging through for a reward, even if that slogging was fun. With Brawl, it was the closest thing to an 'awesome' game for me, because I was always getting stickers and trophies and cinematics to watch. I grew bored quickly, though.

The three Wii games (Fit, Sports, Music), aren't liked by some gamers. Understandable. They don't play like normal games. I don't like them either. They don't reward me, so why play them? A lot of people who play these games don't play games that reward the player, like the ones I mentioned before. They play them for fun. Playing with family, friends, talking to each other about what they did. It's fun. Games don't have this fun anymore.

To go into more detail on that, how many of you play games with friends? No, not online, I mean on a couch. Modern Warfare 2 may be fun, and when it's online you're talking to other people, possibly friends, but when someone you don't know is calling you names, it saps the fun out of it. Likewise, Demon's Souls. Part of its charm is that you can't communicate like you normally would, but you don't have a connection with anyone, than. It works in the games favor, but it still makes a point.

So, why am I going on about not having friends? Because, as you may have guessed, you can't get friends over all the time. When you get older, you might lose friends, gain friends, or both, but getting them together to play a game is difficult when they all have different schedules. You don't interact as much. You can't interact as much. With the Wii games, they communicate, and laugh, and have fun, like when I was a kid with my grandma, playing games with her and laughing and having fun. Because of being constantly rewarded in-game, however, if a friend comes over to watch, he's not getting rewarded for playing his copy of the game. So, essentially, it feels like he's wasting time watching instead of playing.

Other factors play into this, such as not having an attachment to games because people sell them back, or that they may not be interested in the same game as their friend is, but, at its core, it's all the same: without friends, games suck more. Single or multiplayer, if I have a friend playing it with me, we can just gave fun, even when the game sucks.

Now, before I end this and you start posting, let me clear a few things up: Super Mario Galaxy is an incredible game. If you find fault with me not liking it, fine, but I still see it as an awesome game. My grandma is still alive, so don't go being sad about it. Finally, I'm not saying games today aren't fun, but it really depends on the game.

So, tl;dr, I didn't beat it because I didn't play it with my grandma and games today are too rewarding to make you want to play with friends.

I probably should have included pictures. Damn.   read

5:02 PM on 05.20.2010

On June 1st, the greatest game ever will release on the iPhone. [Shortblog]

No, not Noby Noby Boy, that's already been released, silly!

I'm talking about this.

And when the next iPod lets me use two Apps at once, I'll play BOTH of the greatest games ever at once!



3:37 PM on 05.05.2010

Why Jim Sterling should never review games again.

See, I have a problem with Jim Sterling's reviews. The problem is that HE'S the one reviewing the games. Don't get me wrong, he has a right to an opinion, but his recent review of Alan Wake made me wonder why he's even reviewing games in general.

Take, for example, these posts by the member twelvefiftyone:



lmao, the fat moron can't go an entire review for a game on a certain console, WITHOUT mentioning the rival console's supposed "equivalent"(which is the only reason this fuckin' retard could have had to even mention or allude to heavy rain), and people give him praise for it.

and this is all coming from someone who owns both a PS3 and a 360. Someone who planned on buying Alan Wake BEFORE reading this jackasses' opinion on the matter. Someone who would take two games such as Heavy Rain and Alan Wake for what they were, and enjoy them for that, alone. Not type out a lengthy fucking review for one, just to end it with a jab at some other game that has absolutely nothing to do with the fucking review in the first place.

You really are a cancer to DTOID, Jim. You're retardation shows no limits. You're not a gamer, you're just a gigantic douche bag.

Oh, and: Hey! They made Secret Window into a video game!



he mentioned PS3 in high regards, jackass. you're about 5 years too late to the console wars which have ended. get a life, you fucking ass.


i'm everything that's still fine and dandy with the interwebs. i call it like see it, and i see jim sterling as a pompous jackass that can't garnish attention on his ability to use a thesaurus and keyboard alone. get fucked.

@rammstein is a lame, and old fade,

fanboy, lmao


And what the fucks the point of blasting me? I'm just pointing shit out that you're all too blind to realize.

It has absolutely nothing to do with fanboydom. The main reason I bought a 360 was for Secret Window The Video Game. I'm a really big fan of Remedy. I knew this game was gonna be the shit. I don't NEED a fagggot on a blog telling me what to buy.

But the fact is, either you post on the DTOID forums and you think you're getting somewhere by defending one of the bloggers- or you truly are fucking retarded if you can't see how fucking lame Jim Sterling is.

Does Chester have to do this kind of shit to get attention? Fuck no. He does his job, and if he wants to be colorful, he doesn't throw in flame bait to hide the fct he couldn't type a relevant paragraph if Jesus was sitting in front of him, recounting his life's fucking story.

Does Samit blatantly use fanboy tactics when ranting about sports games? Fuck no. If a games better than the other one, he lets you know. He doesn't take cheap shots to bump up his replies. Dare I say, he acts sorta professional.

Neither of those two guys, nor 90% of the DTOID staff take themselves as seriously as this clown Sterling does. He's a gigantic douche bag with prosthetic limbs pounding on a keyboard.

And you all look like even bigger morons for praising him for taking fanboy shots.

Yet, let us all remember, that no Fanboy Friday has ever taken into account the stupid shit that permeates through DTOID's own blogger's fingers. And that shit is RIPE. You could do an entire piece on the stupid shit Sterling has typed on the internet, JUST this year alone!


Adurrr, attack typos, derp!!

Though the blogger in question makes typos in 3-5 posts, 2-5 posts he'll make typos in the fucking header.

You sir, render yourself irrelevant. And a jackass. Double whammy.


How is it confusion, you jackass?

Go back and read the post, or any post of mine. I use the possessive form and contraction on a regular basis, CORRECTLY.

Therefore it's a fucking typo. Especially considering I'm not gonna take the time to proof read a reply of my own on a site that lets fucking douche nozzles like Jim Sterling get away with being a jackass, while making a profit.

Learn to live with the fact that your only argument against me was a typo I made because I type way too fucking fast, and the argument was, is, and will forever be invalid, because you're an asshole troll.


It's a fucking typo. I fucked up a word by hitting two other keys, instead of just one, or none at all. Give it up.

And it's not the fact that he did it one line of text. It's the fact that he had a good review going, and then he fucked it up by being himself, and he gets praise for it in the fucking reply section.

Very much a necessity, for me to call the asshole out on it.


The fuck are you rambling about? The teacher would conduct themselves the exact same way on each MISTAKE. Ones not better than the other, jackass. It's still a mistake, and it's still not proofreading. Jesus, you're an idiot.

YOU can't argue shit, because you have nothing to argue, as evidenced by you spotting a typo and harping on and on about it. Don't tell me I can't argue my point, I've yet to see one rationale explanation as to why it's ok for Sterling to propagate his own perceived "PS3 bias" for his own attention. He can't just type out a relevant review, he's gotta go the other route, and forgo a decent piece instead to be an asshole.

And he's not joking about it. He's dead fucking serious. Jokes get old, but a fanboy such as himself NEVER gets tired of the joke. To negate what he does on a weekly basis as a "joke", is a fucking travesty. Idiotic assumptions like that is why he thinks it's ok to keep doing it. He's mentally disabled. He doesn't understand he has a problem, lol

He takes this shit far too seriously. I'm just pointing it out, and am now being attacked for it.

So, fuck you. :P


holy shit, people.

i said nothing about jim being biased. i said he propagates his own bullshit to get attention, because he's never had an original thought in his entire life.

he had a good review, and then he ruined it by being himself- as he does 100% of the time.

live with the fact that you're supporting a fucking moron.



Hope you didn't read all of that at once.

Now, this is the problem I have with Jim Sterling's reviews. Not him, or what he writes. Rather, the amount of people so damn autistic I'm ashamed that I didn't breathe fast enough when I was born to prevent me from being within the same realm of stupidity as they reside in.

So, how do we fix this problem? Simple.

Jim can keep reviewing, autistic fanboys feel better about themselves, I keep looking at Totoro!

Ingenious.   read

7:33 PM on 04.29.2010

A week with games, Day 2: Uh, I didn't actually FINISH Day 1...

Uh, yeah.

See, this authority figure I had problems with yesterday? She says she only wanted me to do things more in moderation.


Needless to say, after I got back from college, I was going pew pew for an hour. >_>

Anyway, rip on me in the comments. ('_')/   read

1:12 PM on 04.28.2010

A week without games, Day 1: I'm already bored.

So, I'm trying to prove to someone with authority over me that I am not addicted to videogames. She says 'YOU'RE TOTALLY ADDICTED BECAUSE YOU DON'T GET UP AT THE EXACT TIME I NEED YOU' and I say 'BECAUSE KILLING ZOMBIES IS IMPORTANT.' So, yeah, so far I'm 14 hours without games.

I want to go back to playing zombie survival mods in Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare. -_-

that reminds me, I plan on writing a story during my downtime. Would it be alright to post it here? >_>   read

5:16 PM on 04.19.2010

For the low price of free: Alliance of Valiant Arms (A.V.A.)

This will be a new weekly blog post dedicated to free games on the PC. Most of these will likely be FPS's and have item shops in the beginning, but I'll try and include MMORPG's and such as time goes on. I was planning on starting this on Saturday, but I'm procrastinating right now, so I might just do the next one on Saturday.

For this post, I will go with Alliance of Valiant Arms, which they conveniently call A.V.A. because long titles annoy.


If I were to describe the game by comparing it to others, imagine Counter-Strike gameplay with Modern Warfare 2 sleekness. By this, I don't mean the ability to call in nukes or mohawk soldiers. If you compared the graphics with Modern Warfare 2, it's hard to tell them apart. Buildings look busted up, soldiers are in full uniform, and the guns look military-ish. Two big differences, though, are when both games were released and the engines they utilize.

Modern Warfare 2 runs on... I don't know, actually. I heard once it was an extremely customized Quake 3 engine. Knowing Activision and spending money, and the Quake 3 engine is free... Anyway, A.V.A. runs on Unreal engine 3, and it was released in Korea before MW2 was released.

The gameplay itself, when compared to MW2 or CS, is a middle-ground of sorts. It's almost as fast as MW2, and it calls to mind CS, but the unlike CS, it has 5 second respawns. (Truth be told, I haven't played CS yet. Spare me!) There are three classes to choose from, and can be switched out whenever you die: the quick, close range soldier, the sniper, and the middle of the ground soldier. Each one has strength's and weaknesses, obviously. A close-range soldier can run fast and has SMG's, but a sniper can blast them before they can approach them. A sniper is good at a distance, but close up, they don't have a chance. The middle-ground types are good all around, but too far or too close and they won't last too long.

One interesting thing to note is the fact that your skills level up as you use them. Say you play as a sniper. Shoot enough people with a sniper rifle, and it becomes easier to aim. Run long enough as a close-range soldier, you'll be able to run even faster. It isn't enough to break the game, and it makes you want to keep playing to make your soldier better and to improve your own skills. You can pick up a dead ally's weapon, but depending on your class, it may not be useful.

Current modes include Deathmatch, Team Deathmatch, Demolition, Escort, and Prison Break. Each mode has exclusive maps, so no two modes have the same maps.

Deathmatch was recently added, and it's your average everyone-against-everyone mode. I personally dislike it, as it feels a little slow due to map size, but maybe it might have more to do with me sucking when I play alone. The single map is called Fox Hunt, and it's a European style town, with some open houses and back alleys. It has a few open spaces and a lot of close ones, so it can fit both careful and rushing styles, depending on where you are on the map.

Team Deathmatch is also what it implies. The two maps are Cold Case, and some castle-themed one. Cold Case is a freezer-warehouse, with tight spaces and few sniper spots. It's easy to see the snipers, but the skilled ones can blast you before you run across from one cover to another. There are multiple routes throughout the map, though, so you can avoid them if you're careful. The second map, the castle one, is much more open, with two sniper spots on the sides of the map and two semi-large areas in the center, relatively closed off from one another. One side has a small pond, another has a tent with a blocked-off center. One huge advantage is that the team leader of each team can mark enemies on the map with a pair of binoculars. Given, they can only do it when the enemy is in sight, but if they're being a pain in the butt, it's a godsend.

Demolition is the terrorist-versus-anti-terrorist mode. I really suck at this one because it only gives you one life, and I got made fun of because I couldn't find the bomb in plain sight... Moving on, the only map I saw had two big spaces for the bombs to be planted, and lots of small to mid spaces to get the bombs there, with a big space in the middle of the map.

Escort is the most original mode in the game. Basically, you play as either the terrorists or the anti-terrorists as they either destroy or escort a tank, respectively. As a terrorist, you have to stop the tank by firing rockets at it. After a few rockets, it shuts off, and the enemy has to go behind the tank and repair it in order for it to move again. The anti-terrorists must escort the tank by being near it and trying to defend it as terrorists attack. If the tank reaches the destination, the teams switch. There's two maps for this mode; one based in a desert town, and one based in a city. the desert one is very tight-spaced, with a lot of close-quarters fighting and sniping near the end as the tank reaches the final stretch. The other map is about 1.5-2 times as long, and has many more hiding spots for snipers and open spaces for soldiers.

The final mode, Prison Break, is basically Left 4 Dead in prison. You can either play Survival, which pits you and three other soldiers against an endless wave of prisoners, and Escape, where you have to work together to escape the prison. No one ever uses mics in this mode, so I can't say whether Escape is any good, but Survival has a few unique twists. One is that it has one huge open yard and a few closed spaces, with a risk-reward factor of being stuck in an alleyway or having a chance to run away, possibly into another prisoner. The other unique thing is that there are prize prisoners, which drop mystery boxes when killed. If you aren't close enough to them, another team-mate might grab it, so there's a risk-reward factor to that, as well.

Two big things that separate it from other Korean FPS's (Combat Arms, among others) is that the cash shop isn't forced and I haven't seen a single cheater yet in my time playing. The cash shop for the game has mostly guns and armor, but none of it has a time limit. Once you buy it, you keep it until it breaks, but you can always repair it with Euro's, the games currency. You earn Euro's simply by playing. The second thing about the items is that you can buy them either by purchasing GCoins, the paid-for currency, or by earning enough Euro's. Essentially, spend time playing the game, or pay money to access it immediately. The only items that can be bought exclusively by GCoins or things like EXP boosts and GCoin boosts.

You can also get weapons through the slot system. Basically, you pay some Euro, or GCoin, and you randomly get either a weapon or, if you paid in GCoin, Euro's. I haven't done this personally, but since the weapons featured in the slots are released within a month afterwards, depending on when the update is, you can always wait it out. The only problem some people may have, however, is the fact that you can only buy some weapons when you reach a high-enough rank. The only weapons anyone can use or the GCoin versions of weapons, but by the time you can use the high-ranking guns, you'll have enough Euro's to purchase them, so it isn't a problem.

Overall, I totally recommend this if you want a full-featured FPS without paying money. They're constantly updating it, and the community is excellent. The game can only get better, from the looks of it.   read

Back to Top

We follow moms on   Facebook  and   Twitter
  Light Theme      Dark Theme
Pssst. Konami Code + Enter!
You may remix stuff our site under creative commons w/@
- Destructoid means family. Living the dream, since 2006 -