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11:13 AM on 09.20.2010

The Wii is getting a game based on The Very Hungry Caterpillar.


Buy it.   read

9:16 AM on 08.19.2010

Why the PSP is better than the iPhone.

Inspired by Sony's advertisement depicting the iPhone as a gaming platform that isn't a gaming platform, I have decided to list all of the reasons that I can think of why the awful iPhone is worse than the PSP.

1. The PSP has higher prices. You're paying for quality, right? The PSP Mini's often have $5 games that cost a single dollar on the App store. You know why? Secret sauce. That's the only explanation.

2. The iPhone has no buttons. No gaming platform has ever done well when buttons are secondary. I mean, look at the Nintendo DS. A complete waste of space. Two screens means two times the suckage!

3. The PSP has a shorter battery life than the iPhone. It makes the games more enjoyable because you play them in shorter bursts!

4. The PSPGo. Sony is the only company that can release a device that failed so hard that they call it an experiment in consumer behavior. It isn't because it was a horrible idea, no way.

5. The iPhone has Noby Noby Boy. So what if it's my Game of All Games? The iPhone is so bad, even Noby Noby Boy doesn't make it any more appealing. Even if my review of it says otherwise.

6. id's 5th game engine is on the iPhone and not the PSP. It's because it can't handle the PSP, obviously. Why else would they choose an inferior system?

7. There are, like, a million bajillion people with iPhones compared to PSP's. Smaller markets are better because they're more predictable! Bigger markets means your product won't sell because it's hard to predict a million bajillion people. It's BUSINESS, man.

8. Fart apps. No one has released them on the PSP because Sony knows it won't sell.

9: PSP commercials are better. Would you rather have gangster squirrels talking about nuts, or a nerd and a cool guy maybe making some sort of funny jokes that aren't stupidly racist?

10: Pirating. The PSP doesn't have this problem, while the iPhone has jailbreaking. Jailbreaking is legal, too, so people don't have any repercussions to, while pirating on the PSP is non-existent.

There, my list of reasons why the PSP is better then the iPhone. It was easy to write this list, because the PSP is so awesome!

Now, pardon this abrupt ending, but I'm going to go purchase a PSP game from my computer for free.   read

11:04 AM on 08.18.2010

No More Heroes: Heroes' Paradise coming to the PS3... In Europe.


Europe Europe Europe.

According to Joystiq, you'll be getting No More Heroes for your PS3. With Move support.

Congratulations! I hate you.

You finally got Demon's Souls, and what do you do? Go ahead and leave America feeling left out. For once.

Until someone brings the game to the States, I will continually despise you. Partially for this, mostly because you have Ubisoft and they made DRM that makes me rage.

So, yeah. Have fun while it lasts.   read

4:13 PM on 07.27.2010

Guess what childhood cartoon is going to be a live-action movie? (NVGR)(Short)

Not for the faint of heart

Now I know that Hollywood is truly and completely out of good things.

Or, if you were to see my face:

My face!   read

1:25 PM on 07.24.2010

Thinking of a funny way to approach this, but I can't: Al-Qaeda is bad, okay?

Saying that someone is stupid for not playing Medal of Honor for letting you play as Al-Qaeda is like saying it's stupid for someone to not want to play Burnout because they've been involved in a horrible car accident.

There, I made a comparison. Let's see if I can make a few more!

Saying that someone is stupid for not playing Medal of Honor for letting you play as Al-Qaeda is like saying it's stupid for someone to not want to play Bioshock because they have a fear of water.

Saying someone is stupid for not playing Medal of Honor for letting you play as Al-Qaeda is like saying it's stupid for someone to not want to play Dance Dance Revolution because they don't have any legs and can use their hands.

I could go on, but I just got home from work and I wanna play Team Fortress 2.

In conclusion, this is a stupid argument. If someone is uncomfortable with something, they shouldn't be forced into confronting it, if it needs to be confronted at all.

Also, it's like saying a colorblind person shouldn't play TF2.

Okay, done.   read

7:58 AM on 07.21.2010

So, for any otaku out there, Otakon is next weekend. (NVGR) (Shortblog?)

I already posted this on Japanator, so if you frequent there, you may have seen this. Likely not.

A lot of you probably know what cosplay is. It's something I like to do, but am not particularly skilled in. My prinny cosplay sucked the last two years, so I'm going as something no one has cosplayed before.

That is a full-body pair of tights (or something along those lines) with everyone's favorite smiling face (next to Destructoid's).

If you see it, you'll see me, and if you see me, mention Destructoid or Japanator.

Also, if you want to run away, that's fine, too. Understandable, even.   read

11:04 AM on 07.15.2010

I WILL GET THIS SHIRT (also, this isn't a double post)(shortblog?)

Best shirt ever, or BESTEST shirt ever?

Destructoid, get me one.

Get me one of these shirts.

I will give you access to my bank account and credit card, if required, just get me one in perfect condition.

If you get a second one signed by any developers, I'll put your logo on my forehead.

I mean all of this.   read

5:56 PM on 07.14.2010

Guild Wars 2 is now officially the greatest MMO ever (yes, yes, better than WoW)

Reading is fun!

tl:dr Rangers can train sharks.

Train. Sharks.

The bitey things with a week dedicated to them.

Unless Cataclysm does it, which I sort of doubt, any argument made for World of Warcraft, or any other MMO, being better than GW2 is void.

Also, this better be on shark week, Discovery.   read

4:09 PM on 07.11.2010

I had a weeeeiird dream last night...(NVGR)(Hey, I'm actually using tags right!)

I dreamed I double-posted in the CBlogs. Then it became a nightmare. Did I use then in the right way? I don't confuse 'to' and 'too' but 'then' or 'than' keep getting tossed around like an African orphan to white celebrities.

Wait, the dream. Right.

Anyway, I double posted. Than everyone planned to kill me. It got like MadWorld, but with color and the main character dies. By a gangrape.

Well, it's better than my childhood nightmares involving Jafar from Aladdin and when he turned into a snake. Is it pedophilia if you remember a dream where you get raped as a child?

So, anyone have any dreams or nightmares based on Dtoid? It'll be like a campfire story time thing, except instead of smore's we have keyboards and a lack of fire.


9:55 PM on 06.21.2010

Official Gorillaz Plastic Beach music video 'On Melancholy Hill' released

The good news is, the real Noodle is back! The bad news is that she's not happy anymore.

The good news is that they found Plastic Beach! The bad news is that the Boogieman is there, along with some gigantic thing.

The good news is Russel is back! The bad news is that he's the size of two Godzilla's.

Cameo appearances, excellent animation, and confusing symbolism abound!   read

5:16 PM on 06.16.2010

This E3 sucked.

Pictured: My face during the first day of E3, and likely the rest of it.

Okay, so Microsoft gives us the Wii without the remote and a fake family fake dancing to what looks like a fake game, Nintendo will rob me blind with games I want, and Sony had nothing on the only game I was interested in (The Last Guardian.)

But no, this isn't about their shortcomings. I'm talking about this:

I was reading the E3 news while listening to that on the TV while my brother was watching the World Cup. Do you know how much I never want to go to Africa now? A whole lot.

Pictured: My reasoning.

Now go your entire day listening to that. Goddammit.   read

7:20 PM on 06.02.2010

Man kills kitten over... Wait, hold up, a kitten?

Basically, the kitten unplugged the console by accident. His response?

He threw the kitten into a wall. In front of his girlfriend's children.

Now, I know games can make people angry. Hell, Demon's Souls made me ragequit on numerous occasions.

But a kitten? Seriously?

You couldn't have given it to the wife, put it on your bed, taken a break?

I mean, why would you want to hurt a kitten?

Not pictured: A wall and children.

Also, don't forget to look at the comments in the article. Be grateful this isn't us. Yet.   read

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