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Cortana Dumps Master Chief For Commander Shepard!
Holiday | 4:46 PM on 09.18.2007 5 comments



Cortana as seen recently in the upcoming video game Mass Effect


In a recent revelation that's sure to rock the gaming world Cortana, known as the popular A.I. in the famed Halo series, has announced her split from Master Chief in favor of a new beau, Commander Shepard of the game Mass Effect.

"Honestly, we just grew apart" said Cortana describing the demise of her relationship with Master Chief in a candid interview with video game fashion magazine Pixel Purrrfect. "It was always Covenant is attacking this, Covenant is attacking that. Corrupted mainframe this, corrupted mainframe that. It started to drive me crazy! That's when I knew the relationship wasn't going to last. I really needed some peace and stability and being with Master Chief didn't seem to offer that for me."

Sources around the Halo 3 production had reported that Cortana had been under 'increasing stress' for months and had suffered numerous 'extreme emotional breakdowns' during the production of the final installment to the Halo trilogy. Many had believed it was only a matter of time till she left Master Chief and the whole Halo universe for good.

"Commander Shepard has given me the stability I've been searching for", Cortana further explained. "Frankly, exploring the universe with Sheppard was a lot more appealing to me than spending another night listening to Master Chief and the Arbitrator go on about who's gonna win the next all-Grunt sticky-grenade championship".

No word as of yet as to how Master Chief is dealing with the separation though sources say he's been spending a lot of time with Miranda Keyes and appeared content.



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3 comments | showing # 1 to 3
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Cheeburga's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/18/2007 17:11
Cheeburga
NOOOOOOO
Hoygeit's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/18/2007 17:22
Hoygeit
That hussy!
s0lesurviv0r's Avatar - Comment posted on 09/18/2007 19:42
s0lesurviv0r
*Turns to page 50 for Daisy & Peach secret lesbian romp*
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