......I can't wait till I can buy a PS3. I haven't had problems with a console since :D what do you know the original Xbox. I'm not really pissed off just a little disappointed. Currently I'm performing the towel trick on my 360 in order to play the Forced Unleashed demo. Lets hope I can get a yob soon so I can own a console that's actually reliable. The funny thing is it's been almost exactly one year since I bought my console. Oh well more PC, PSP, DS, and GBA gaming for me. Also since this lovely red light isn't covered by Microsoft's warranty and seeing as how I kind of don't have a spare $100 on me I may have to red ring my 360 on purpose.
Whatever happened to people having taste? Are gamers so jaded and shallow that they think everyone has to like anything that's popular? Take Too Human for example. Sure a lot of people hate it but the excuse I hear for the people who love the game is idiotic. You just don't "get it". Yes you're right I don't get shit games. But you see that. Those two words right there, shit game. Those words make people go crazy. Its as if you're insulting their dead mother. Its pathetic. Why is it that if I'm a gamer I'm expected to like Metal Gear Solid or Grand Theft Auto? Why do I have to look forward to every quirky Japanese game? Who the fuck made it a law that every popular game in existence has to be adored by you?
I enjoy rap music. Now if I were to tell someone else this they would probably think I meant that dreadful noise they play on the radio. However I could enjoy different types of rap music. Its the same with say JRPGs. If I tell someone I like JRPGs they may automatically think,"Oh well then you must like Square Enix games." Are we so stupid that we don't view others as individuals when it comes to gaming? We group each other under little fucking labels. These are the hardcore gamers they enjoy FPSs and other action games. These guys are the jocks they only play sports games. Those JRPG weeaboos like anime games and shit. Why can't I play Madden and Braid? Why can't I enjoy Dynasty Warriors and God Hand?
Why can't I just be a "gamer". Can't I just enjoy whatever I play and you can just STFU and enjoy whatever you play. Do you have to automatically judge me whenever I tell you I enjoy Halo? Do I lose IQ points just because I enjoy shooting aliens? Do I fucking call you a prick because all you like to play is "retro" games or some "artistic" game. Am I cooler because I own a copy of Katamari Damacy or Psychonauts?
Its really depressing to think about us. We are nothing more then hypocritical, judgmental, and moronic douchebags who think what you play makes you who you are. When I say the game you play is shit why do you take it personally? Can't you just say, "Well I like the game but I guess it, like every game, has its faults." But no you don't do that. You basically say, "OMG UR A FAG THS GAEM IS BEST EVER FUCK YOU FUKK U@!!" or you defend your stance that you think the game is shit by saying, "UR ALL FUCKIN RETARDS WHO BUY HYPE THAT GAME IS FUKKIN GAY!!"
Too human is shit. What are you going to do about? Are you going to break my skull open because I said a game you like is garbage.
I like Halo 3. Am I now some Xbox 360 fanboy? Do I have the brain of a 4th grader now because I enjoy "generic" shooters?
Everyone has different taste,
GROW UP.
BTW when it comes to music I'm actually way cooler than you because I listen to Supercar. Its not my fault its just a fact. Sure that idea ruins my point but hey it really is a law of music. Supercar = One bad mother fucker.
(video slightly NSFW towards the end cause of naked Japanese womeng) read more
Everyone lock your doors at night if you live in Texas. It seems our little lemon is a
SEXUAL PREDATOR!!
I thought Electro Lemon was this kid:
However, through my Matlockery I have figured out the truth. Electro Lemon is actually
Maxwell Mulbah
Maxwell has been convicted of sexual assault with a minor. I like you thought Lemon was a kind, loving, and lulzy young man but he is in fact a RAPIST!! He's also obviously very good with disguises. Please everyone be careful and watch your chilens.
Sitting in my room is pretty lonely and quiet. To remedy this situation I listen to many podcast. Currently I'm listening to Podtoid 8 and jesus fucking christ who the fuck is this guy:
I've been on this site for about a year and 3 months. I've heard of Robert Summa but (while typing this blog I'm listening to the Podtoid and he just said I love kids which is hilarious) is he really this obnoxious? Every minute I hear his voice. They're are five people including him on this Podtoid and every time someone else starts talking he butts in. Its driving me insane. What makes it worse is the fact that he's from Texas which is the same state I'm from! I do not want to be associated with this man in any way. To all you DToiders who were here from the start I have a question, is Robert Summa really this much of a douche?
*puts down cup of wine* Oh hello there Destructoid. I apologize I didn't see you there I was too busy reading Great Expectations. Its recently come to my attention that I in fact have better taste in games than you. Why is that you may ask? Well while you enjoy your Halos, Final Fantasies, and other (gross) mainstream games I'm enjoying flash games, indie games (that no one knows about), and of course old PC games that were made before I was born.
You and your mainstream games are ruining my hobby so I would appreciate it if you would piss off. You enjoy horrible games like Braid and Portal. This games are shit for one reason, they're popular. Sure I could use the excuse that Braid is too expensive but I like being honest and honestly I hate popular things. Its actually quite enjoyable seeing idiots like you become filled with anger over knowing I hate a popular game. Halo is shit, Final Fantasy 7 is shit, and of course Braid is shit. All the games you like are terrible.
You have no idea how cool I feel right now. Saying I dislike your "games" helps me stand out as an individual. I'm not some conformist who plays all of your silly little popular games. I usually only play games no one has ever heard of. It makes it rather hard to find enjoyable games however. For example I was enjoying Kickle Cubicle until I went on a forum where everyone was talking about it. I immediately grabbed my cartridge and burned it. I will not play any games that have even a small fanbase because I, unlike you, am not a conformist.
In the end I can only say that I' am much better than you. Your taste in games symbolizes who you are just like music (I only listen to indie music BTW). I pity you and your idiotic taste in games. Enjoy your shitty popular games like (gross) Braid. Oh you've finally found an artistic game your small brain can comprehend? Congratulations I've been playing those for years. You may ask yourself, "Why do people think its cool to hate popular titles?" Well you know something I don't think its cool. No not at all. I KNOW its cool to hate popular games because it helps me stand out as an individual. So fuck you and your shitty mainstream games I'm going to play another NES game that no one has ever heard of. read more
I'm an average guy. Of course by average I mean I have absolutely no social life especially during summer. Today is a glorious Saturday. The weather is overcast (my favorite) and even though I have a bit of a cold I wouldn't mind going outside and pretending to enjoy the presence of others. Instead though I decided to stay indoors and get the last bit of achievements I need in Portal. Now I'm using a guide but hey fuck you these challenges still take a bit of skill to achieve. I'm on the third advance puzzle and currently I'm trying to tackle the get through the level with the least amount of steps challenge. Its going to be tricky but hey I got 55 steps on my side. I'll try to meet that goal or take less than 55 steps.
What I can't do....what I can never do I should say is get through the level with only taking 5 steps. Its not because I don't have the precision of a mouse and keyboard its because I'm just not that talented and I'm willing to beat you aren't either.
Anyways try not to dirty your disgusting undergarments you've worn for three days straight while you watch this.
I was just wondering, how many of you guys grew up poor? Every time one of you explains how you started gaming your stories always begin with, "Well my family didn't have a lot of money." I just thought it was interesting that so many po folk found a way to enjoy video games when they were children. Now most of you have jobs and can afford your "luxurious" lifestyles. Just a short question today this belongs in the forums but hey fuck off I rarely bitch about your little blogs about your profiles or the shit you own anymore. Alright answer the question then piss off.
Hey guys and gals have you ever been super duper hungry? Do you like not feeling like your stomach is trying to kill you? Are you poor? Well then listen up because today I'm going to show you how to make
Weeabowl of Ramen With Extra Cholesterol :D
Ingredients:
1 Package of Chicken Flavored Ramen
3 Eggs (steal them from the mother for better flavor)
Queso Meng (optional)
Old Lady...and Tabasco Sauce
Preperation:
Alright go rub one out then get ready. You want to drain yourself of semen because when you eat this you'll cum buckets and if that happens its going to spill all over your figurines or copies of Halo. First thing you want to do is make sure you have hands. You don't want to burn your face by using your mouth. Hands are very important, without them you can't make this delicious meal. Alright turn one burner on your stove to medium and another one to high. Get a medium saucepan and a frying pan. Put the medium saucepan on the high burner and the frying pan on the medium burner. Fill the saucepan with about 1 or 2 cups of water. Get the old lady to fondle your balls or lick your penis while you wait.
This is important. Put the ramen noodles in the medium saucepan. Don't put the flavor packet in. If you want you can crush up the ramen before you put in the rather but I like them long and thick. Put a little bit of oil in the frying pan and crack the three eggs. Now you can either scramble them or (my personal favorite) fry them. This is done by cooking them on the bottom for a bit then flipping the eggs so the yolks can cook. If you don't know who to scramble eggs fuckin shoot yourself in the face.
Grab a bowl and empty the flavor packet into the bowl. Now spoon a bit of the ramen water into the bowl and stir it up. At this point if the ramen is done you can go head and put the noodles in the bowl as well. If your eggs are done grab a spatulur and lay the eggs right on top of the noodles. Grab your Tabasco and sprinkle a couple dashes of the glorious sauce onto the eggs. Get your cheese (I recommend anything) and throw some of that into the bowl.
Yum yum yum you got yourself a Weeabowl of Ramen With Extra Cholesterol :D. If you've done everything properly and followed my instructions it should look like this:
On a scale of 1-2 this gets a 1.9999995 its a great meal for the douchebag gamer who is lazy as fuck and thinks knowing how to cook makes you a massive clit.
I'm sure everyone will agree with me when I say halo 3 wasn't innovative at all. That's not to say it isn't a great game. I never understood why people always hate Halo for the simple fact that its a mainstream game. They're no better than the people who judge Madden players. I hate elitist gamers who only play "innovative" games like Ico or Japanese games (because all Japanese games are innovative and better than stupid fat American games). Anyways the thought of being able to create your own levels in Halo 3 sounds very awesome to me. Also having the ability to use the games characters in your games as bots is also something that tickles my fancy. Finally I'll be able to recreate that epic battle from the Halo 3 commercial :D I have to go look for a yob now, think I'll apply at Gamestop. If you think less of me for applying at "the evilest company ever" than kindly go fuck yourself and grow up. Instead of bitching about corporations like Gamestop and Microsoft why don't you actually do something about them. Go buy a sniper rifle and take out the biug wigs who actually run the country.
I endorse assassinations :D (I just got myself a spot in prison) read more
Oh god that manga was so amazing. Anyway tonight I will be hosting Halo 3 FNF. If you would like to join will then get your ass ready because it begins at 10:30 P.M. (central), 8:30 P.M. (western), or 12:30 A.M. (eastern).
MAI GAMERTAG IZ:
xDISTRATOx
Send me an invite.
I'll have the room open at 10:30 P.M. (central) so please come and play. If you want to put people down do it in a hilarious way. If I even detect unoriginality in the way you call someone a name you'll be kicked...okay I'm just joking but seriously bring the lulz.
Tonight's theme song is of course
Also try not to bring five of your friends or something this is DESTRUCTOID Friday Night Fights for a reason. One is fine but if I need to make room for someone actually from DToid you're friend will be the first to go unless he/she is really awesome. Also NO CRUCIALPENGUINS ALLOWED SALMON!!
So many damn rules. You know what fuck it just come and have fun :D Bring whoever you want except Crucial Penguin.
"Seriously, you have nothing interesting to talk about. When the fuck did destructoid become the official home for Spam-happy, useless blog posting, self-important, trendy, portrait of myself in the act of subterfuge to-look-cool in my avatar fuck-wats?!
ok the last one may have gone over a lot of your heads, but for fucks sake that's what I'm talking about.
I could give a fuck about your top 10 moments of orgasmic self indulgence while playing the game you FUCKING PLAY TO MUCH...I don't. Use the forum for that shit!
I also don't give a shit if you're trying to get in good with the moderators either, fuck off, they don't care about you nearly as much as they want your praise so - stop telling them thank you or disputing them in more useless fucking blogs, like a bunch of foul trying to get attention for more milk
Use the damn private message feature, it's there for a goddamn reason.
If you're going to talk about something, post something interesting!
Give us something worth reading, prove to us that what you're writing is post worthy and deserves acknowledgement from the community or go the FUCK AWAY cause your shitty posts are flooding away the interesting ones...
Let me give you an example of what the last month of blogs have been, ready?
A funnel of shit - READ ON - PLEASE CLICK THIS BLOG!
Watch me as I talk about how fucking great this game is - though I've played no other.
Jack Thompson did this, oh no, I have no fucking life.
This game is out NOW - even though you already fucking KNOW that!
What I'm doing right now! - 10 ways to live with your parents till you're fucking 45.
Check out what I just stole from another site that ORIGINALLY FUCKING POSTED IT!
Goddamnit, this site is turning into a goddamn myspace blog for gaming rejects...go back to myspace, SHOOO, SHOOO MOTHER FUCKER - GO! LISTEN TO YOUR IPOD AND THE SHINS WHILE YOU CONTINUE TO SUCK AT LIFE.
