So here I am for another game review, with my dear Miss Beer. This time I’m gonna review Mirror’s Edge, which is a game about running... and that’s it, thanks for your time.



Now a little more seriously, I might have been a little too frontal with that, but really for a game that had so much publicity, and so many people talking about the freedom it can give to you, I am starting to think what the hell game producers are thinking! Seriously why don’t they make a game where the only thing you have to do is run? Oh wait I forgot, Mirror’s Edge does that!

Some time ago, lots of people criticized Assassin’s Creed for being too much repetitive and you had so many few things to do, and now those guys say that Mirror’s Edge is awesome, despite of having even less to do! What makes it better? Is it the graphic quality? Doesn’t sound like it; I mean Assassin’s Creed must be one of the best looking games of our time. Is it the soundtrack? I even don’t remember of any music from the game, so… No! Is it the history? I don’t know, I was too busy running to even remember there was a history. Could it be? Nah it can’t be… the fact that it is in first person perspective? I know, let’s make a game about cooking but in first person! Oh yeah COOKING FUCKING MOMMA!

Enough with that, but you know what? I think I know the answer to this question. What makes people like this game is the fact from coming from EA, people were so used to crappy games from EA that this one is like ambrosia, but in fact it is just a turd with lots of ketchup wrapped in some publicity foil.

Enough with the hate about some-bastard-game-company-that-makes-me-mad-since-the-nfsu-series, let’s talk about the gameplay… NO WAIT I CAN’T TALK ABOUT THE GAMEPLAY YET! And why’s that? Well I’m gonna tell you why, because I lost about 2 fucking days to get Mirror’s Edge to work, when I started the game a funny error appeared saying that it wasn’t possible to save my game, and the reason was so stupid that even now I’m in shock. I could not save my game because I changed the default location of the My Documents folder, so the game couldn’t find it. And now I ask, they don’t know how to use system variables? I mean they fucking do games, but still make mistakes like this? I really can’t understand, even free games don’t do mistakes like this, and they are… free! So there I went, folders created and game fully working… almost. PhysX you mother f…

I must say that the game looks good, and it is easy to play, sometimes too much easy, but well for some people that’s a good thing, personal taste with you ask me. But one thing really bugs me, why there is so much white? They could use over 10 million colors, but no, let’s put all white, it’s pretty, and can make people blind in about 5 minutes with the correct lighting!


A nice screenshot of the game

Another thing that annoys me, the game is pretty much linear. When you think in parkour, you think in freedom and infinite ways to get to your objective, but in this game your options are quite limited, and sometimes (when I say sometimes, I really mean almost ALL THE FUCKING TIME) the only options you have is to pass a couple of pipes over or under.

Trust me when I say that there isn’t much more to talk about the game, so I’m gonna skip all the wada wada and go full speed for the evaluation.

Graphics: 9/10
Sure they are all pretty and stuff, but please use more colors, or at least less white, and you really need a good graphics card to see all the effects, if you don’t have… well you’re a sad panda.

Sound: 2/10
Ehhh I think that the best sound in the entire game is in beginning were you see the footstep and the EA logo.

Gameplay: 8/10
Easy, clean, and smooth they sure did a good job in this part.

Story: 4/10
Not the best or the worst, I think that they spent too much time in the “innovation” part and less in the argument one, and all the twist were too much obvious.

Total: 6/10
I can’t really say that it’s a bad game, but it’s not what a hardcore gamer would like to play, get pretty boring after some time, after the first 2 levels you’ll basically know all that you need to do, and after that all becomes just a running game. This game is more oriented for the casual gamer, who plays it about 10 minutes a day, a level at a time. Another thing that makes me sad is the total gameplay time (about 5 hours).
If you want to know my opinion, don’t buy this game, rent it or ask a friend who has it to try it.