Big Bad Ben's game review - Bomberman: Act Zero - Destructoid

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I've been gaming since I was six (23 now.) I wouldn't necessarily call myself ultra-hardcore, but I'm certainly not a casual gamer. I've been collecting since July of 2009 and I'm quickly running out of room.

Beyond that, I'm starting a college journalism program in the fall and I work at a grocery store.
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This is my review for Bomberman Act Zero for the Xbox 360. I first wrote this on facebook for my friends, but I figured I should post it here too.

Act Zero throws away Bomberman's cuteness factor and turns it into a hardcore game. You pick either an awesome looking dude or a tough chick, choose their armor color, and then you begin.

The single-player campaign has two available views. Either the classic top view, or an absolutely genius 3rd person view that follows your bomberman. This view is awesome because it makes you feel like your in the action. Whenever you complete a stage, you automatically go to the next, and you actually get to keep all the power-ups you found. Each stage is progressively harder with either more enemies, or your enemies being more powerful. Oh, and the best feature...a total lack of continues!

Uh...yeah, as you've probably figured by now, this game isn't really all that great. In fact, it's horrible. When this game came out, that's all you got...for $60. A slowed down, stupefied version of a game that's existed since before the 80s. That's right, the whole thing feels slow, even though bomberman is supposed to feel fast. Worse yet, the loading times. Every single time you reach a new stage, it loads. Loads what? The background is EXACTLY THE SAME! Nothing changes from stage to stage, apart from your enemies starting with more power-ups. And when I said the models looked awesome, I lied. They look stupid, STUPID!

Another stupid thing is that you can find bonuses within the stages. One bonus I found unlocked an option in the main menu. Huh? Worse yet, it unlocked the ability to look at my achievements. Why you wouldn't include that in the first place is beyond me. Also, you can look at the achievements THROUGH THE XBOX'S GUIDE. YOU DON'T HAVE AN OPTION LIKE THAT AS AN UNLOCKABLE, it's either in the menu, or it's not. Another stupid thing is that it won't save any data whatsoever if your not signed into Xbox if you actually want anyone to know you've played this piece of junk. The 3rd person view is impossible, just impossible. You can't see nearly enough of the stage while using it, and even if you see a bomb that's about to blow you up, you'll just end up running into another explosion. Oh right, and the worst part is that if you die, it goes straight to the main menu without giving you the option to try again. I thought those games died out in the NES days, but I guess not.

For this current generation of games, this game is amazingly bad. This kind of die once and start over doesn't pass for good gameplay. It was the worst offense back in the NES days, but until now I thought a total lack of continues was A THING OF THE VERY DISTANT PAST. Seriously, I usually find bad games entertaining for maybe a few minutes before I've had enough, but this game makes me angry, and I don't get angry.

My two word review: DESTROY IT!
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