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Hasney
7:26 PM on 04.15.2011



With the rumors circulating around what Nintendo is going to bring to the party, I'm going to boldly claim it 'tis the season and all that jazz and hit what I hope the proverbial buffet cart of the aforementioned party will contain. Despite my doubts, for the purpose of this blog, I am going to assume that the new home console is happening, mainly because I so so so so so so so so so so so so hope it is true.

With that said, HIT IT.



1) Motion control was SOOOO 2006, you guys



Nintendo had a hit with the Wii, no question, but the shine appears to have come off the Wii a little. Accused by the masses of being simply a Wii Sports/Fit machine with some New Super Mario Bros. thrown in, I believe it needs to go back to basics.

I'm not saying abandon motion entirely, but bundle the thing with a real joypad as well as the Wii-plus mote (or new motion thing to ensure backwards compatibility) and come out on stage to say that Nintendo thinks it's ADORABLE Sony and Microsoft are on that bandwagon now, but we have the best motion solution and we're coming back after your hardcorey games. But don't worry, soccer moms, you'll only need one bulk of plastic in front of your TV because this bad boy will play your Wii and GC titles as well as having an even bigger Virtual Console. Check-fricking-mate.

2) This 3DS thing we launched? We will finish it TODAY.



I love my 3DS, but I see it as a beta handheld. The love is based on things I know are coming games wise rather than what I have in my hands now. Clearly rushed out to hit promised deadlines, it's missing a lot of promised things. The lull of retail releases that we're going to have for a period here would have been made so much better if I was playing Links Awakening on VC while grinning like a little schoolgirl. I'd even have settled for Sonic Chaos.

At E3, announce that from that day, a new firmware update is coming out to add the online store, Virtual Console, 3D classics and DSi store. Make everything new playable from SD card and we have a winner. But there is another thing that firmware update should address...

3) You know what else was so 2006? Robust online systems.




That firmware should shake things up, attach your friend code or maybe even an online handle into Nintendo's new and shiny online service. Lobbies, messaging and all that stuff that allows you to actually jump into a game with friends without using another device to co-ordinate the impending smackdown. I can do without the XBox Live bells and whistles for something that functions in a way that allows me to play games.

Don't worry about the casual crowd, they are slowly getting more tech savvy. My auntie even hooked up her blu-ray player to update all by herself a few weeks back. If they want to play online, they'll find a way. Optional extra would be some sort of achievement/trophy system because some people really hang their hat on them for some reason. SF4 has medals and they work quite well, flashing up when one is unlocked. Roll that shit out and make it standard.

4) Why do we even buy consoles? GAMES. COME ON.



This is where Nintendo's strong suit lies for me. I love me some Gears of War and I did like Resistance when I had my PS3, but a few quality franchises here and there cannot compete with Mario, Zelda, Metroid and Kirby. I'm still left wanting more though.

The last two successful IP's Nintendo created were Pikmin and Nintendogs. Get a little creative and try something new. It could be something beautiful and amazing if they were just to take that risk and I would love it. Even if it turned out all Wii Music again, I would respect them for trying to innovate creatively.

Finally, if they were to snatch a 3rd party to do an exclusive or timed-exclusive franchise, that would just be pure carnival. Think about it, the next Bioware game being Nintendo exclusive or something crazy. Fanboys of other console would bitch to hell and have to end up buying Nintendo, a spectacle I'm sure you'll agree.

5) Less sales figures



I know, you've been the top dogs for a few years now, but do we need to see the graphs? When they weren't on top and just about to unleash the Wii, Reggie came out on stage and just said "We're Nintendo and we're here to kick ass and take names". Great, let's get back to that mantra instead of staring at charts of however you want to spin strong, but slumping sales.

There's a time and a place for these types of figures, E3 isn't one of them. The casual media doesn't care, the games media doesn't care. We're all listening to hear how Nintendo is going to kick those arses, not what arse has been kicked.

If the rumors are true, I cannot wait. We'll have Nintendo 3DS developments and new home console taking on the NGP and whatever Microsoft has up it's sleeve. But those will have to wait for future editions.

The first shots have been fired, in 2 months, we'll see what 2011 really has in store.[img]
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