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Search my name? That’s just masturbation.

by Handy   //   8:44 AM on 12.28.2012

So this is a thing now. But after searching my name I only found out there’s a lot of sad people out there that share my name and feel the need to self aggrandise on Urban Dictionary. So unless you legitimately believe that on the day of your birth your parents said “This baby is obviously the Rambo of sex. We must think of a fitting name.” “Ronald!” then maybe it’s not the best place to find yourself.



I will however search the name I chose here on Destructoid. Because searching your name and then twisting it to stroke your ego? That’s just masturbation. And there’ll be no stroking or masturbation when searching for Handy!



1. handy 455 up, 264 down

to wrap your hand around a guys cock and vigoriously move up and down until the male begins to cum

I gave my boyfriend a handy and then had to wash my hands because there was cum on them.



3. Handy 69 up, 38 down

A hand job!

" I was on the rag so I gave him a handy to hold him over"



4. Handy 150 up, 129 down

Safe alternative to oral sex. Eliminates the risk of herpes.

Weinberg: Yo did she bitch suck you off?
Weinshel: Nah son, she just gave me a handy and split.



10. Handy 50 up, 55 down

To give a sexual favour using your hand

Jaydee gives good handys behind the bike shed



11. handy 36 up, 44 down

Slang term for a handjob.

"Handy" Mirandy gave Joel a handy in the back of the bus on the way home from band camp.



13. Handy 18 up, 32 down

Essentially a handjob except for a handy is often quick and on the sly. Ejaculation may or may not occur on the female, depending on the location recieved. In order to have a "sick handy" one must both turn down a BJ or sex in exchange for the handy, and must also bust a load directly onto the female in excess of 3 oz's of manjuice.

[i]Dr D got a sick handy from some bitch with a sideways puntang last night.[/b]



19. handy 6 up, 51 down

small skinny and like to suck on the cock

handy



22. handy 2 up, 63 down

Small Skinny and likes to suck on animals cocks

Handy


So there, I think we’ve all learned a little something about making ourselves feel good, getting in touch with yourself, and how to love yourself at least once a day. NO MASTURBATION WHATSOEVER.Photo view gallery
(1 photo)









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