Welcome to the blog.... you must be bored. anyway im Handy, I'm a student in Ireland and I'm here to talk about whatever may come into my mind....so not much then.
Lets see... I’ve been playing games pretty much my whole life, since my Commodore back in the day to my ps3 now I’ve been hooked. Actually come to think of it I can’t remember a time I wasn’t playing games. Can’t say I have a favourite genre, I like to try a bit of everything, though I will go to town on a good RPG. I’ll have something to fill in this space as soon as my life becomes interesting.
^^^ Seriously, I wrote that like four years ago and still nothing interesting has happened.
Like everyone else on Destructoid I’m at a loss on what to fill this space with so I guess I’ll just catalogue my greatest hits, if you can call a loose collection of lists and borderline pornographic fanart “greatest hits”.
Listmania – Because liking something isn’t as important as liking it in the correct order.
Hey you. Looking for a new style? Do you crave the kind of unique hair styles found in your favourite hobby? Do the people at your local barber laugh at you when you bring in a picture of Wakka? Then look no further because at the Gaming Salon we’re more than happy to shape your mane in the image of your favourite characters no matter how ridiculous it looks.
We offer a wide variety of hairstyles based off different series, genres and characters. Whether you’re looking for something outrageous, elegant, or something with just a bit of panache we will be able to cater to your needs. Can’t make your mind up? Why not flip through our catalogue for some ideas, it features some of the most popular hairstyles in the gaming world.
The Wild Thang.
Comes with a free chest wax.......just sayin’.
Is the hustle and bustle of the modern day getting to you? Then it’s time to get in touch with nature with the Wild Thang! The Wild Thang (yes it’s pronounced Thang) is the perfect way to cast aside your contemporary lifestyle and get back in tune with mother earth. This look is accomplished by washing your hair thoroughly with all natural ingredients like water, brushing it out with our newly created twig-brush, and finish by drying it off with natures hairdryer, the wind.
Customer Quote. “I used to be an investment banker, but now I’ve learned the true value of life and spend my time being chased out of peoples back gardens. Thank you Gaming Salon.”
So intimidating they had to create a new word, “Scarifying”
Do you have an ancient evil sealed away in your body? Well there’s no need to distance yourself from society to protect them, because now you can warn them by expressing yourself through the medium of hair. The Supernatural is achieved by combing your hair straight down and dying it blacker than the night itself to give people a sense of dread when they approach you. Alternatively we can comb it over your face so when your dormant powers take over it will really bring out your eyes when they start to glow (they always glow). Honestly it’s the only way to go for those of you with a “curse” that gives you awesome super powers.
Customer Quote. “Now the horrible burden of ancient power that makes me super strong and nigh invincible doesn’t seem so bad. Thank you Gaming Salon.””
The Space Marine.
I don’t even know what this is from.....
Have hordes of things to kill and can’t afford even the slightest mistake? Then the Space Marine is what you need. The Space Marine has been developed to be the most effective hairdo in combat since the mullet. Utilising the strongest electric razors known to man we shave your head in the most aero dynamical way possible to reduce wind resistance, cut it perfectly symmetrical to avoid distracting itches or hair obstructing your line of sight, and leave just the right amount of stubble so your enemies know that you’re not bald, you shave. There’s no better hair for shooting foreigners, going to space, or going to shoot foreigners in space.
Customer Quote. “Hair!?! Hair is for pussys. How the fuck am supposed to shoot shit if got a bunch of fuckin’ hair in my eyes!? What’s this microphone for? Am I on TV? WOOOOOOOOOO!!! “
I mean come on. Who is she kidding?
People not taking you seriously? Do men pay more attention to your jiggle-physics than to what you’re saying? Well wearing something tasteful and saying something smart isn’t going to help, you need a ponytail. You see the ponytail is a statement, it says you’re responsible, intelligent, and deserving of respect. Originally pioneered by Lara Croft the ponytail completely legitimises a character, even if she was designed for the sole purpose of giving men erections. No matter how skimpy the outfit or how sexist the dialogue, a ponytail puts us all on equal ground.
Customer Quote. “I bet people will respect my opinions now. Oh, these thigh high boots chafe.”
The Pompous Asshole.
Why tell everyone you’re a dick, when your hair can say it for you?
Those aristocratic robes and that ostentatious accent just aren’t getting the job done, are they? If you need everyone to know that you think you’re better than them, then you need the Pompous Asshole. It’s also a great way to foreshadow the fact that you’re a bad guy without using subtlety, because that stuff is for the unrefined low-class. The Pompous Asshole may require some wireframe support and will be quite expensive, but who cares, you’ve got the time and the money, you’re not a commoner. In fact that’s the point of this hairstyle, to prove that you’ve got the time and money to get a hairstyle this elaborate. It’s what separates you from them.
Customer Quote. “No I will not comment on my hair for your catalogue, peasant!”
"PAY ATTENTION TO MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!"
Want people to notice you but you have the social skills of an androgynous fifteen year old? Then the JRPG is right up your alley. Nothing says “Everyone look at me so I can ignore you” like foot long spikes and unnaturally bright colours. The JRPG look is achieved through a combination of industrial strength hair spray and probably not poisonous dyes. Sleeping horizontally is not suggested and it is also recommended that you avoid hugging loved ones as it may result in impalement. This particular hairstyle is only available through appointment......because it takes so damn long to do.
Customer Quote. “This is great! Now all my friends want to talk to me which makes it a lot easier for me to act cold towards them. Thank you Gaming Sal.....*ahem*..............whatever..... ”
We offer many more styles at our salon, from Heihachi’s Head Wings to Guile’s Flat Top, we know we have something for you. We can even do the ones that defy the laws of physics, but not the ones that defy the laws of fashion! So come on down, kick up your feet and let us make you fabulous.