So I decided that this year I would forgo trying to convince you with an assortment of blatant lies and would instead show you what my avatar has gotten up to, what you can expect, and what kind of people you can meet if you’re willing to give a out a Handy on the sly.
And also make as many handjob jokes as possible.
Jim sterling was quite pleased when he received a Handy in the dead of night.
But Occam’s Electric Toothbrush got a Handy in the middle of the street in broad daylight!
Max Scoville will pay good money for a quick Handy.
Tara Long got a Handy when she was least expecting it.
Danny Baranowsky, composer for Super Meat Boy and Binding of Isaac, was so flexible he could lick the Handy he was receiving.
Derek Yu, creator of Spelunky, got a well earned Handy to relieve his stress.
Even Renegade FemShep got a Handy. See? Bioware support all relationship types.
Carmine sympathizers were giving out free Handys to support their cause.
While it should be mechanically impossible for Juri to receive a Handy, I’ve seen plenty of Street Fighter fan art that tells me otherwise.
Johnny Cage got a Handy right in the middle of the supermarket, that can’t be good for hygienic standards.
Mr Destructoid can get a Handy whenever he wants.
Hamza got a Handy…..
...Two years in a row! Could you get me that hat-trick?
The cast of Mega64 all got Handys, the new guy with the dreadlocks did not approve.
All Dtoiders at the meet ups got a Handy under the table.
Of course Neiro got a Handy.
And finally, a picture of Corduroy Turtle giving Ken Levine a Handy.
So what do you say? Would you like to adopt my avatar and give everyone you meet a PAX a Handy? Giving out Handys left and right till your hands are covered in sticky white fluid, by which I mean the kind found at those hygienic hand gel stations I assume they have to help stop the spread of germs at PAX.
Huge thanks again to Corduroy and Elsa for taking all these pictures.
Disclaimer: If you adopt my avatar I hold you under no obligation to take pictures with gaming celebrities or Destructoid staff members or to do anything else if you don’t feel like it………..though Elsa did send me some swag…..just sayin’.


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