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I am Destructoid's Community Manager and General to the Destructoid Army. We are made of many factions but we are all one force that embodies the robot. It is the Lieutenants, Majors and the the countless soldiers that keeps the dream alive. We bleed red and green.

I am always available for you:
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I am also an Associate Editor and it's my goal to always provide you guys with some sort of entertainment. I love covering anything that has to do with art, entertaining videos, fashion, boobs -- Basically anything that's offbeat.



I am a shark. I am Tako King. I am CTZ. I am a drill. I am your Community Manager. I am Hamza Aziz. Four years and counting.

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10 things you didn't know about CTZ
Hamza CTZ Aziz | 3:08 PM on 02.01.2009 50 comments




I think I'm pretty open with everyone here so it was kind of hard thinking of 10 things. But hey, here you go. Enjoy.

1. I don’t have a spleen! I lost it when I was around 7-years-old in elementary school. I was running out of gym class and was rushing to the playground. I wanted to jump over a bench, but either I tripped or someone tripped me right before it so I landed on the edge of the metallic-drilled into the ground bench. I remember crying like crazy and having just enough energy to turn my head to see this kid who most likely tripped me up with his foot against my back, laughing.

I was in the hospital for a week and, true story, made my folks release me on Saturday so I could be home in time to watch Snick, Nickelodeon's late night show with Are you afraid of the Dark, All That and more.

2. Destructoid changed my life. I say that all the time, but it’s true. I used to hate society, suffer from depression, was overweight, was extremely shy and was a horrible writer. For some reason, Niero saw something in me and I was brought onto Destructoid. Now, I love talking to people, don’t suffer from depression (as often, haha), improved my writing skills and I’m getting in shape. I’m still shy as fuck, but not as bad as before Dtoid.

3. I hate my other job. I work at a family own videogame store similar to Gamespot/Gamecrazy. Compared to retail chains, my store is great. I hate working for my uncle though. He’s a crook and rips people off constantly. I hate cheating people and I’ve been there for over 10 years now so I need change badly.

4. For the last few months now, I have been constantly dreaming Destructoid related things.

5. I’m lost in life. I have no idea what I’m going to do with my future and it scares the shit out of me.

6. I’m Afghan, but I’ve never been to the country. My family fled Afghanistan to Germany during the Cold War when Russia invaded. I was born in Germany and used to be able to speak German pretty well.

7. It is my life dream to actually hug a real life tiger. I think tigers are the most beautiful and amazing animals on the planet and touching one would fulfill my life.

8. I used to be really good at drawing. I’ve more or less lost the skill now though.

9. I live on a 45-acre farm where we grow grapes, melons, tomatoes, and a whole assortment of other fruits and veggies.

10. Accents turn me on. I discovered this during the first year anniversary when I blacked out and told a French dude (a close friend to Niero) that I wanted to fuck his accent.



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46 comments | showing # 1 to 46
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blehman's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/01/2009 15:17
blehman
I wish I could get the picture of you with the blue hair off mah phone and put it here.:(
randombullseye's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/01/2009 15:17
randombullseye
You spleenless bastard.
McSnow's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/01/2009 15:20
McSnow
You can take my accent roughly from behind any time you want Hamza.
garison's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/01/2009 15:20
garison
HAHA Fuck an accent. Pure gold, CTZ.

I thought it would be a lot of fun working at a game store. Is it just the fact that your uncle is a douche, or is it just not a generally fun job? Also, when can I come to your farm?
Y0j1mb0's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/01/2009 15:21
Y0j1mb0
YES.


Also accents turn me on too.
nukka jdav's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/01/2009 15:24
nukka jdav
I want some melons!

Also, the dedication you've shown to Destructoid shows that you have no reason to be scared about your future. Your skills are elite will never degrade. There will always be something out there for you, I'm sure of it.
SilverDragon1979's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/01/2009 15:25
SilverDragon1979
I love the brutal honesty. It makes for a great list.

When I started this whole thing I had no idea it would go so far. I definitely didn't think the staff would get involved. Just reminds me of why I love Dtoid!
Jamie McGinn's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/01/2009 15:25
Jamie McGinn
Number 10 makes me both eager and scared to talk to you in person
seigfreid's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/01/2009 15:31
seigfreid
Your game store thing kind of reminds me of Be Kind Rewind. Even though its not really related at all
Jesse Cortez's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/01/2009 15:31
Jesse Cortez
Getting in shape? Yes! Soon you will be able to walk uphill on Berkeley campus! (<3)

We love you CTZ!
Tdiddy9182's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/01/2009 15:36
Tdiddy9182
Tiger hugging isnt all its cracked up to be, I lost an uncle because that.
Hollie Bennett's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/01/2009 15:37
Hollie Bennett
I love my cybernetic tiger z so much <3
MrSadistic's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/01/2009 15:38
MrSadistic
lol yojimbo is totally mega gay for you
RonBurgandy2010's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/01/2009 15:42
RonBurgandy2010
I have no tonsils.
Tubatic's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/01/2009 15:42
Tubatic
I can be seduced by most non-american accents.

Also, some days I wish I lived somewhere where things grew that I could then harvest and put on a plate for my own enjoyment. City living's alright, but I could stand having a 3 minute walk/drive out to the mainroad/my mailbox.
Mikey's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/01/2009 15:43
Mikey
CTZ is awesome.
mix's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/01/2009 16:05
mix
What if your Uncles secretly blog on Dtoid....GASP!
IroN1c's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/01/2009 16:08
IroN1c
After reading that list, I really didn't know what to say. It all sounds too familiar to me. Really great list.

Also, wo in Deutschland wurdest du geboren? :D
mid3vol's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/01/2009 16:18
mid3vol
you wanted to fuck his accent?! omg.. that is win. and i can't think of a better way to put it than you did, sir
wardrox's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/01/2009 16:29
wardrox
number 10 eh? 'ello guvna'

:)

Also, can I have a melon?
007's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/01/2009 16:33
007
"I’m lost in life. I have no idea what I’m going to do with my future and it scares the shit out of me. "

I know exactly how that feels. I hate not having a sense of direction as to where to go in my life. And as for you being depressed... I would never have guessed. You're like, the most upbeat guy I know. fo' realz.
Haxan's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/01/2009 16:33
Haxan
The spleen story makes me cringe just thinking about it. And "Are You Afraid of the Dark" is so win. My ex and I downloaded every episode a few years back and watched a bunch of them. It didn't hold up at all and yet was still awesome.
Justice's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/01/2009 16:35
Justice
Can Sharks hug Tigers? This I need to see!
grafkhun's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/01/2009 17:00
grafkhun
So a Shariger/Tigark is like the best animal ever?
Fusiontr's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/01/2009 17:34
Fusiontr
I want to hug Hamza
I forgot to add that to my list

MAKE IT HAPPEN
superflossy's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/01/2009 17:36
superflossy
ooooh, i want to come over to your farm and eat the fruits and veggies! also, i totally want to spoon with a tiger!! i love all cats, big and small, and would love to work on a sanctuary for big cats. ^_^
Stella Wong's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/01/2009 18:40
Stella Wong
I too would want to hug or pet a tiger in real life :D
Funktastic's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/01/2009 18:41
Funktastic
*high fives a fellow accent fan . . . although I only like ladies with accents*
Hamza CTZ Aziz's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/01/2009 19:20
Hamza CTZ Aziz
Garison: I'm just burned out man. I need to leave it in a bad way.
's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/01/2009 19:30
Clint
Heh, you're the last person I'd think of as shy. Great list, I think that there'd be real demand for home grown Hamza produce if you sold them online :)
Teta's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/01/2009 19:46
Teta
10. Accents turn me on. I discovered this during the first year anniversary when I blacked out and told a French dude (a close friend to Niero) that I wanted to fuck his accent.

Now I really need to go to PAX.
Maurice Tan's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/01/2009 20:07
Maurice Tan
Ich liebe CTZ.
Mr Gilder's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/01/2009 20:27
Mr Gilder
I'm sorry to hear that you hate your other job; however, it does do my heart a great deal of good to hear that small, independently owner games stores still exist somewhere. I worked at one such store for about four and a half years. Luckily the guy who owned the joint didn't know anything about video games (he opened the business because he attended a seminar and saw the money in it) so he essentially let us guys run the place as we saw fit. Unfortunately, we couldn't compete with the great Gamestop/EB machine, and the bossman killed the business from within and cut his losses. I say we stage a coup against your uncle and run that place right! Stores with that personal touch are a lost cornerstone of the gaming community!
Brian Szabelski's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/01/2009 21:26
Brian Szabelski
Ah, I'm old enough to remember when #10 was a meme around here. Good times, good times...
Technophile's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/01/2009 22:00
Technophile
You intimidated the hell out of me when I first started up with forum things because you were so awesome at managing the community here and I felt like I was going to get in your way. The fact that you put up with my babbling and were totally understanding and friendly as I tried to figure out what to do was absolutely awesome. You are one of the best community managers I've ever worked with.
Samit Sarkar's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/01/2009 23:44
Samit Sarkar
Whoa, #9 is crazy!
GuitarAtomik's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/01/2009 23:46
GuitarAtomik
That's funny because I can't imagine you as shy.

Also, I have for the longest time wanted a baby tiger to raise as my own.
AgentMOO's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/02/2009 00:39
AgentMOO
Wow #1 is quite a story, and I lol'd at 10
The GHost's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/02/2009 04:03
The GHost
"I’m lost in life. I have no idea what I’m going to do with my future and it scares the shit out of me. "

Up until just recently I felt the same way man. It'll come to ya one of these days :)

<3
Ogu's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/02/2009 16:10
Ogu
What's a spleen good for anyways? Good riddance.
brosef's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/02/2009 17:34
brosef
A farm? Afghan? Consider my mind blown sir... in a good way.

Also, wtf is with the bear pic? lol
digtastik's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/03/2009 10:24
digtastik
HAHAHAHA!

#4 Me too. I've documented my ridiculous Dtoid dreams, but I've only had the motivation to post one. I have 5-6 more that I need to write up. So sad.
Origim's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/03/2009 11:15
Origim
On #3 I feel for you, I worked for my family full time until 2005. By that time due to issues with my extended family, my parents and I stopped getting along and life in general just sucked. So I moved to Alabama to just escape the mess. In my case they realized how stupid they where being and things have gotten a bit better. Make a change and do it quickly it helped me tremendously. The hard part I found was just going for it. Scary as hell, but totally worth it.

@#9 Ha, I wasn't aware we had farms in California. /sarcasm Then again I grew up on a cattle ranch in the far northern part of the state.
Arttemis's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/03/2009 16:23
Arttemis
If you ever make it to Thailand, you could visit the Tiger Temple, where Buddhist monks actually train vegetarian tigers from birth to cohabitate with humans. I didn't get to go on my first trip there, but I'm definitely making it a priority if I go back.
Alpha Shark's Avatar - Comment posted on 02/08/2009 17:46
Alpha Shark
# 7 on the list: I wish I could hug a tiger from my childhood. The first thing on earth I thought was straight up Alpha --->



Although not a real tiger, I find him awesome nonetheless. (Also: much less probability of being mauled)
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