Fellow robots. I am about to share with you details of an event that happened not an hour ago. It’s one of those moments that undoubtedly defines my thoughts and feeling about the Destructoid community, especially certain individuals. Pictures will be provided for clarity though I’m not sorry for the lack of quality. My phone camera is mediocre at best and I was understandably shaken up.

I was just enjoying (see: enduring) some team tactical on Call of Duty 4 when my dad shouts up the stairs;

“Letter for you, Gavin.”

“How queer.” I thought to myself, I’m not expecting any mail.

“It looks like it’s from one of your... ‘gaming’ friends.” My dad said, not even attempting to hide the disdain in his voice.

I take the letter. It’s one of those bubble wrap lined jiffy bags. My name is written as Gavin “HalfLeft” Allmond in some of the most childish writing I have ever seen.

I open the letter and find this:



Hrm... I’m not really sure what to make of that. But hold on. This folded piece of paper seems a little thick. Perhaps something is inside it.

There was:



You people can draw your own conclusions. The following transcript of the Destructoid IRC will shed some light on the matter.


[13:52] <halfie> gandy
[13:52] <Gandy> yes?
[13:52] <halfie> i just revieved a letter
[13:53] <halfie> recieved
[13:53] <halfie> I was wondering if you knew anything about it
[13:53] <Gandy> really halfleft?
[13:53] <Gandy> what does it say?
[13:53] <halfie> i think you know what it says
[13:53] <halfie> ahem:
[13:53] <Gandy> How would I know
[13:53] <Gandy> I cant even afford stamps
[13:54] <halfie> "dearest Gavvie, I cannot wait to meet you in Seattle in September"
[13:54] <halfie> then there is a drawing of a heart
[13:54] <halfie> where's my phone?
[13:54] <halfie> i need to document this madness
[13:54] <Shakey1245> lol
[13:54] <%The_Young_Scot> woah
[13:54] <%The_Young_Scot> that's crazy
[13:54] <%The_Young_Scot> you're gettin raped
[13:55] <halfie> jesus christ
[13:55] <halfie> contained in said letter is one durex brand latex condom
[13:56] <Gandy> Wow, sounds like someone special wants to meet you
[13:56] <Shakey1245> considerate rapist that
[13:56] <Gandy> You should probably cblog it or something
[13:56] <halfie> gandy
[13:56] <halfie> please don't refer to me as 'half left' on letter fronts
[13:56] <Gandy> I KNOW NOTHING
[13:57] <%The_Young_Scot> why is that a problem anyway?
[13:57] <halfie> i live at home with my 51 year old parents
[13:57] <halfie> online handles scare and confuse them
[13:58] <Gandy> Well, if I ever send you mail I will remember that
[13:58] <+mid3vol> LOL
[13:58] <halfie> i'm glad you're amused
[13:58] <halfie> i'm terrified
[13:58] <+mid3vol> good
[13:58] <%The_Young_Scot> hey
[13:58] <%The_Young_Scot> free condoms
[13:58] <halfie> condom
[13:59] <Gandy> AND YOU HAVE UNTIL 2012 TO USE IT
[13:59] <%The_Young_Scot> IT'S STILL FREE
[13:59] <Gandy> THAT'S PLENTY OF TIME

PS: Gandy lives in Sheffield, the letter was marked as such. Also, he's the only one that calls me that.

Should I be flattered or mortified?

[UPDATE]

And then Shakey did this:

WABAM!



Short, sharp version.

For years when people have talked about the best point-and-click adventure games people have talked about various monkey island iterations. Unfortunately they were more or less before my time. Grim Fandango I remember fondly. But it was not the first one I recall playing.

Whenever discussions like this would come up I would struggle to remember the name of the first one I played. The best way I could think to describe it was:

"A live-action guy in a cartoon world. There's some dark stuff on and you have to clean it up and make it bright and cheery again."

But I never ever remembered the name.

Then, when such a discussion game up in the #destructoid IRC, this happened:



Hit me like a fucking brick.

Because I had no idea what it was called I never had any luck googling for it. But now I can find images with ease.



My family were (and still are) fairly archaic when I was playing this game. As such I played it round my friend's dad's house. And it was good.

Hey, any game in which the main protagonists are mother fuckin' Christopher Lloyd (Doc Brown) and Dan Castellaneta (simpsons) HAS to be good. Fact.

Every so often there'll be a 'games that time forgot' post on the front page and I'll get hit with a similar feeling of nostalgia. but not like this time. I had be actively wanting to remember it for a long time and pretty much expected to be struggling with it for a longer time. I honestly thought that I was one of a few people that seemed to have played it. Then out of the blue comes Prof. Pew. Him and his LOST loving ways.



Anyway. Have any of you had a similar experience. Better yet, are you still struggling to remember a game? Perhaps we can help each other out and ease some frazzled brains.

It takes a while for any gaming related stuff to show up, but it's awesome nonetheless.

Engadget

Because I am awesome, I won some more swag.

Before I start what has become a habitual ‘unboxening’, It's important that you see the confirmation email. I've highlighted the important part.



Ok then, diving right in.



The box, pretty regular—WAIT A SECOND! A ‘box’, Not a packet!?
That’s right my friends. It’s immensely satisfying to get a box in the mail rather than an envelope, is it not? Especially if it contains FREE SHIT!



I wonder what it might contain. The game won’t work for me because everyone knows hobbits are xenophobic and hate the British.



Oh... Ok then =]. Free is free. Who am I to complain?



Ah cushdy! Collete was kind enough to grant my wish of a sticker. (never got one with dtoid beanie and my laptop looks naked).

Let’s have a look at the box then... Wait... What’s this?



HAHAHAHA. Truly it is an evil trinket.



Also, it looks shit.

Ah yes, I do love my free stuff. It’s the best price after all.

I’m told that if I obtain some US game cards (I don’t even know what they are) then the game will work for me. But before I do that I should probably try the trial version of the game.

Also, because I’m a rebel that plays by nobody’s rules:



PS: for a better look at the contents of the box, check out Magnalon’s c-blog.

It took a while. And, I’m very proud of how long I lasted. But the time had to some when i would eventually conform to the social norms and make a Twitter account.


End of civilisation.

As a pessimist and a cynic these trends are normally easy for me to ignore. I made a MySpace and forgot the password after a week, and never logged in again. It took me till late in my high school life to make a Facebook account. I only check it because my gormless Uni classmates can’t handle e-mail.

Why am I cynical of Twitter? Pfft, why aren’t you?

No one wants to hear our inane ramblings nor do they care about what colour socks I’m wearing (no normal, well adjusted person anyway). I know for a fact that it fuels peoples need to have ‘followers’. It is a meaningless string of numbers that creates the delusion of popularity. This happens because people are thick as pig shit and confuse acknowledgement of existing with recognition for success.

Your 140 characters aren’t witty or clever, existential or meaningful, intelligent or pithy. You just love bandwagons and don't mind using an IM that's open to the world.

So why did I sign up?

Fuck if I know. Perhaps I’m a masochist and I crave disappointment. What can I say other than: I'm human.

In my final act of defiance all up in the face of conformism and due to my shame, I’m not going to link to my profile.